HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED A REALLY BAD COUPLE OF DAYS ,WERE YOU FEEL , SO DOWN, AND OUT , AND DRAINED, IS LIKE ALL YOUR EMOITIONS, GET, TWISTED, AND YOU, ARE TRYING TO HANDLE THEM ALL AT THE SAME TIME. AND FROM THE INSIDE OUT. YOU FEEL YOUR FALLING APART. BUT. FROM THE OUTSIDE. EVERYBODY. SEES YOU NORMAL. AND YOU DON'T FEEL THAT WAY. YOU WANT TO CRY, LAUGH , YOU FEEL SAD, YOU SWEAT, THEN YOU GET COLD, YOU FEEL BEWILEDERED, AND IT HAPPENS EVERY MONTH, YOU CRY ,AT MOVIES, STORYS, DOG. KIDS, BUGS, IS THERE ANY CONTROL TO THIS, YOUR EMOITIONS JUST ,GO WACK... I REALIZED THIS AFTER, I GO THUR IT NOT BEFORE... AND I FEEL SICK... AFTER WARDS, AND APOLOIZE, BECAUSE, I'VE BEEN FEELING SO OUT OF TOUCH WITH MYSELF...I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS BUT, I'VE BEEN FEELING LIKE THIS , AND SINCE MANY OF TIMES, YOUR, WITH YOUR OWE SELF AND THOUGHTS AND DON'T HAVE ANY BODY TO HELP AND SHARE THESE FEELS , NOW THAT YOUR SHEDDING THE WEIGHT AND THE POUNDS ARE COMING OFF... YOU REALLY, NEED TO TALK WITH SOME ONE,,, JUST TO TOUCH BASE. I'M 54 YRS OLD. MY INSIDES FEEL 16YRS OLD. STILL GROWING ...AND GETTING OLDER... DOES ANY OF THIS CONFUSETION STOP AT ANY POINT IN A PERSONS LIFE... I HOPE THIS ISN'T TO OUTTHEIR... BUT, HAVE YOU FELT THE SAME, :cry AN NOT DEALT WITH IT TOO. NEED TO KNOW.. NOW THAT I HAVE THE BAND IS LIKE MORE NOTICEABLE AND WHEN YOU LOSE THE WEIGHT YOUR NOTICED MORE. :ermm

margie.

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margie

4/5/04

295/257.8/-37

SOME OF US NEED MORE HELP THAN OTHERS, IS JUST GETTING A HELPING HAND...

Hi Margie,

The short answer to your question is yes, certainly, feeling down is not unusual. This is a great place to come and vent, anytime. Hormonal changes with weight loss can be significant, and only add to other hormonal issues going on in life as well. Be good to yourself!!

If mood swings are really bothering you, it might be worth talking to your doctor. Or maybe something like a yoga class? Everyone has their own methods to help get through this time; for me walking really helped and still does. Exercise is a tried-and-true tool for mood regulation, and it really works!

Good luck, and let us know how you're doing!

Hi Margie,

I definitely had a few months of those mood swings after getting banded. I have always been kind of an emotional person but I think losing weight definitely made it more pronounced for me. You are also at the age where you might be starting menopause??? Not sure. I think many of us do go thru what you are describing though. I did go to the doctor and he put me on wellbutrin but after taking it a month or so I quit taking it. I have felt pretty stable since then. I think a lot of time it is my husband who is driving me crazy. LOL. I am working on not letting him bother me so much. Best wishes to you and hope you find some peace, Teresa

I dealt with depression and mood swings quite a bit before surgery and for about 4 months after surgery. It seems to have gone away the last couple months. I feel better than I have in years. I'm hoping this is a permanent change. I hope your experience will be the same.

thank you for your help.

i take pills for my diabetices,and i just didn't think , that could cause, changes in my feelings and emoitional self. but, i'm going to read more up on it , thank you ...

i was so relived that, someone understood this, and it just, wasn't in my head..

i've told my doctor, and they,just want to give me , pills to solves all the problems, if is something that i can do without having to take pills , i'm willing to try, i don't know to much about menapause, but, i'm going to be reading alot these couple of days..

also try the exercise tapes ,,,i was walking but, was not feeling well, so stop last week ,but, my hubby, got out my exercise stepper machine, to do another kind of exercise..this morning...

i want to thank you all , i felt so relived , is hard to discribe, just to know, i can do something about it... is hard to be vulnerable in front of your family, when they look to you for strengh and guidance, as being mom and grandma,.. and your just a women having problems just, like any other person... i just want to open a door . so i can just help and heal myself....

margie, thank you,

WHEN YOUR NOT SEEN YOUR NOT HEARD..

Margie

Yes I have experienced a couple of really bad days just like you have. Know what brought me to grips with it? "Its just a couple of days". Before it was almost everyday. I no longer make apologies for it either. Hey people my body is changing (for the better) and so are my feelings and emotions (also for the better) Deal with it or you get the "OLD ME".. My family rather not have the "OLD ME".

I have always worn my heart on my sleeve. I spent 26 yrs as a police officer and 11 years in the funeral business...You'd think I could be pretty cold and emotionless. Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Just put the Wizard of Oz on TV and when Dorothy clicks them damn heels and tells Toto their going back to Kansas the flood gates open. I read newpapers and see stories about kids and I can end up crying at Breakfast. In church we sing songs that bring out emotions and the tears will flow. (and I'm front and center in the choir lol). Never was and never will be afraid to show my emotions. Holding them in is what causes the problems where the medications they want to give you become necessary.

But I am fortunate.... I can talk to my wife about it and she understands and is very comforting. But if I couldn't I'd find someone who will share it. Even here I find comfort in things I read and many times I laugh and say "Well everyone has a twin somewhere and here he/she is" I get lots of comfort reading the responses from people here also and that goes a long way from me continually dumping on my family.

Alex has a very good suggestion to and I find it has worked more for me now then before and that is exercise. Thow on the old tennies and out the door I go. Before my journey I'd get the same comfort from jumping in the car and driving. But then I wasn't reaping the bennies from the walk. After a short time walking, the emotions settle down and by the time I get home I'm fine.

Jack is right too ( of cousre you knew that he is a man and we are always right...just ask us we'll tell you)... We have to thank God for our lives and that fact that we are still here and able to do something to help us stay longer. The small boats that we are in that large sea do become visible when we gather together as a fleet of ships. All to help each other.

I too am 54 years old and as Teresa has so kindly pointed out its time for us to consider menopause. HEY WAIT... I think I'm exempt from that.. Oh heres another "Thank God"

Teresa you don't need to think your husband is driving you crazy... lol thats what we are supposed to do. Sounds like he's doing ok there and if you ever find out how to really keep him from bothering you your going to be rich LOL. Just publish your findings LOL

Becky, my dear Becky how can anyone who rides a Harley have depression lol You have ATTITUDE... I also find that the emotions get easier to control now that I have a little more time in bandworld.

margie you read about the meidacations I'm going to research this break you ladies take from men called men-o-pause. Lucky for me my wife is much younger. I'll probablty be too old to care by the time she gets there. LOL

God bless you all and hang in there Margie. Your just fine

Margie, everyone has posted some wise words about mood swings, hormones, etc. If you are really worried, see a doctor.

It's great that you can go on line and write out your feelings here -- but you might want to consider talking to someone in person. Is there anyone in your life you can talk to honestly about what you're going through? A husband/partner, friend, or family member? If not, you might want to talk things out with a clergy member or therapist, someone you can trust with your feelings, who will listen and respond with care. Good luck. I hope that you're feeling better.

hi,

this is how i feel, some people think , that a doctor, can help but, not really, if you've had a really, crabby day, or you just don't feel good on some days, is makes it worse just talking to people who, don't have the same problem you have,

and when you do start talking to people that care and know what your going thur, they've been there had that, no doctor , is going to give you all these answers ....

when your not well, and you've been years. with just, family, hubby and kids, you miss out , and become afraid of alot of things, when you, start to learn, that your life is going to change with just losing weight, that's fear... a new life opens up and you start experiancing, new people , and i found this site, of careing and loving people that have the same feelings and are going thur the same thing as me, and there all different, in there owe special way, and i love that of them, you can't ask for a better group of special, knowlegdeable, funny, wild , and careing , friends , i'm sorry, but, i don't think a doctor can help here... just understanding and love for fellow man and woman... corny....... thank you zoe.. your great... and a very careing person too..

we listen to each other and hear our souls in tears.here,. and we help to heal the caring soul, who just needs. a friendly ear......we're all bandesters, and what has been eatting us up inside is that , we've been talking to everyone that would hear us, but, no one cared enough to give us the help we needed , now, were listening to each other, because we understand, and are not eatting our hearts out... literly.,, each time we talk to someone on this site, we grow, but, it helps us to vent, our fears,and emoition that, our familys and friends got tired of hearing, but, we are not tired, because, were getting a new lease on life and we want to live.. and if one of our last chances is (what the doctor call getting the band) then we are reaching for that star.. ... for ourselfs and our family's ... and the changes are not easy, to look inside your self an stripe what little control you've had,, and give it to a band... i really hope you understand,.. you've been there done that... here we are...sharing our lives, not face to face.. but, moment by moment, because we want each of us to lose and we know then wi'll be winners..

margie,

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margie

4/5/04

295/257.8/ -37 still

TO SHARE EVEN IN PAIN, BRINGS COMFORT EVEN IN THE END..

Margie, you were confined to your bed for twenty years from an injury! Now, you've gotten your band and lost 37 pounds! You have a lot of living to catch up on! Just gaining the freedom to be able to walk out that door is mind boggling. Please come here and "talk" to us any time you want! How are your migraines?

Hi Margie,

I too am greatful to have a group of understanding souls on this forum. Its nice to be able to converse all the time with people who have and are dealing with the same issues. I definitely have "blue" days and had one today. It just seemed like everything important I had to accomplish today was not going well and finally at one point I had the last straw and broke down crying. Life IS frustrating sometimes and we are dealt difficult blows frequently. I have to say though that for every bad thing that happens there are several good things that occur that I need to account for. Keep your chin up and understand that we will always be here to help cheer you up on the bad days. Teresa

hi, guys

grt 139 your a sweet guy, give t. a kiss for me, for having a nice guy like you, in this time of your lifes. is never to late to make changes in your life and do it for the better of your family , and self.. what i find is , it even surpises your owe self... and to get a chance to do over, with a different out look, and feel good in ever step that you take.

you job was amazeing to me. and now , you are doing so good with yourself.. thank you for your words of encougement to me... all the thoughts of concern mean the world to me .. and for your thoughtfulness.... yours was a long road and hard too. but, it shows you came out of it with a good heart... not too many people can do that,,

hanging in there.. for as long as it take...; )

marie, yes.i was32yrs old and was going out to the store , and fell in the front stairs of my building. about more or less 10 steps on my back and hit my head all the way down,, and laid there, was out as my neibor put it for about 10mins. he thought i was getting up but, didn't, so he came to help. i open my eyes and saw the sky and didn't know what it was called. no thouhts were in my head. but, didn't think any thing of it.. was help up and streched, still went to the store , felt find.. next day, a little dis comfort .. still fine. as long as i could move i was fine... had my usagel migraine, still did all my things. by the 4th day around 3am. i start getting a pain in my left leg, mild but, persistent. by 6am i finally ,woke my hubby up to go to work , and let him know, how the pain was getting worse... spoke to the doctor,on the phone , said give it a couple of days and see him if it gets worse. send some pain killers for me. my husband pick up meds.. i spend 8 months paralized with the pain that went up my leg and back no meds. could take away, and that was the begin of my life with back problems..tests were done... everything was pain, my migraine, were there always and since i was 13 yrs old i've had them. with no let up.. so my concern was not my migraine, was my back...my husband carried me around the house, on his back, in his arms, i was skinny then..lol,, and placed in a recliner from 7am and didn't move at times from there till someone got home from school or work..one of my daugthers were assigned to come from lunch .. and feed me and we would have lunch everyday.i spoke to the princepule of the school..so this could be done and it was ok, the school was 1/2block away.... since i had to take 13 kinds of meds.and new ones to test. had a nurse come in for 1hr... each day for 3 months and got a hosptial bed. which saved my back and was able to sleep for 3hr on and off a day.. some days no sleep w/mig and back. no rest.. but, forced myself to use cruches ,it would take 1/2hr with tears...just to get out of bed .. and would go to the kichen to make breakfast for my kids and husbands, many heated arguments. but,i did it, 3hrs to make breakfast, 3xaweek, so they were eatting at 4or5in the morning, and they were good about it..i just wanted to be a regular mom ..would make a full breakfast , bacon,eggs,f.f. coffee,toast. they all had breakfast in bed.. it was very difficult. it was along 20yrs. oh , the best part they diagosn me with digenerated bone disease, which to me ,,ment i was going to get no help.. at all.. years of testing.. and pokeing... then at my last appoinment,with this neural. doctor. she said , go home and deal with it..there is nothing we can do for you,,, my 10year daughter, flip and said ,your sending my mother home to die, she said yes, we can't help her any more... i cried for days and days... but , thanks to jah, god... i made it thru it all,, and when i started to get help for my migraines. the first time ,i spent 1day without my head hurting, i was terrified. did not know how to deal ,with my life without pain, and then 2 days and 4 days... i thought i was going to die.. how could i think , without no pain,, my world without pain ,was coming to an end and i was scared to face it.. for the first 2yrs.i was at a panic. so it took to 5 yrs to feel secure to take the first steps into getting better without migraines so i cut down on my meds.to only 4 kinds.. took 2yrs ..to walk and get my back to take the weight, then learning about the lapband.and my doctor and the recepitiones..telling me get it, fear was my first reaction... normal for me... so when i was diagnos w/diabetes,on june 26,2003, i was stund by the news of it....i took the first dareing steps to get even better,, this time without any fear... and then,, we came to visit one of my daugther in PA. on a friday. loved it, and they said , some people are sell the mobil homes. the first one i saw loved it,the family was very nice and had lived in it for four yrs and on the 4th months later,we were moving in to the place...... i'm sorry, but, everything is scary to me, the unknow or unfamilarity, scares the life out of me,, and a clear head.. my security of pain is not there to see me thur this... but, i lived thur it, and now i'm learn to live in a world without pain,, and is so new, is over wellming to me at times, i felt like i have been running, so as not to catch up.. with fear... but, thanks to jah,God.. each step is refreshing to me now ,, and to be able to lose this weight, and get my health back... i'm in love again... and then the best gift of all meeting you guys..

and knowing what is like to have a new change in your life.. and grabs every new day and good or bad days... but, have something new to look forward to.. i am truly blessed.... with love and respect to all and my deepes thanks ...; )......

teresa..is true what you say, there is no pain or suffering that good does not come after woulds... i'm so sorry, that your day did not go well, but, thank you for sharing your thoughts thur your pain....and i pray that you'll find a little comfort with us....is a long ride on this bumpy road.. so put your seat belt on and hit the gas... and let's enjoy the ride, there's alot to look at and alot of friends going our way...one thing thow don't speed to much cause, well miss the laughter, and smiles and kisses.. and the friendly waves. as we pass by......; )

margie....

TO CARE IS TO LOVE AND TO LOVE IS TO SHARE..... :knockedou

Wow, Margie, YOU are an inspiration! Sending big (((hugs))) to you! I can't wait to see what you're doing a year from now!

Margie, it sounds as if your life is just beginning! How wonderful that you had the strength and courage to refuse to accept any more years of pain and immobility. Marie is right -- you are an inspiration.

The reason I (and probably some others too) suggested that you see a doctor was not so that you'd have someone to talk to; your average MD is not the most sympathetic listener! It's just that your mood swings, which sounded pretty serious, might be the result of hormonal changes from menopause, a nasty side effect of some of the pain meds, or something else biological. If you keep having mood swings, it might be worth checking out.

"Put your seat belt on and hit the gas... and let's enjoy the ride" -- amen to that!

hi, marie

your an early bird , me too. i'm ok, still putting up a good fight, but, i take my hat off to you'll, you're my inspiriation. in all the hard work and changes you guys have done in your lifes...be save when you go to meet the bandsters, you'll be fine, is hard to meet people for the first time , they care and are excited to meet you too...just enjoy yourself,.. you'll all be giggles, and laughs ..it will be to funny,, you'll see... have fun... God bless and becareful.. ((hugs))

zoe, your a doll, i do understand what, you mean, and jack, mention diabetes, and i didn't think, at first but, found out , it may just be it ,plus all the little corks , too, thank you , for your ,help, and advice.. i'm thinking on all of this, belive me, i'm thinking alot about all of this, need to, in order to keep getting better , you need to look at everything,... thanks

margie..

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margie.

4/5/04

295/257.8/still

bx. ny.

A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED...