I have been pretty big since my husband and I began dating about 8 years ago. I've always loved that he loves me just the way I am. He's never really been one for compliments (doesn't often tell me I'm beautiful, etc.). He might give me a pat on the backside every once in awhile but that's pretty much it. My fear is....how will I feel if he starts giving me MORE attention after surgery? I'm afraid that I will get offended knowing he didn't feel that way before, or feel that he wasn't as attracted to me when I was larger.

How did your marriage change after surgery? We have a very healthy marriage and I'm becoming paranoid that our relationship will change! Thoughts?

Edited November 21, 201510 yr by Half of Bri

My hubby has never been one to give compliments, ever. Never tells me I look nice, I'm pretty, etc. So it has been no surprise really that nothing has changed. LOL. I get numerous compliments from people who say, boy, I bet your hubby tells you all the time how good you look or I bet your hubby is getting jealous of all this attention. Nope. But, we started dating 30 years ago when I was 16 and a size 4. He's seen me in all my changes. I guess since he's stuck by me, even at my heaviest, it's love.

Yes, marriage is changing some since the big weight loss... and keeps changing always. And, we adapt to these changes by talking things out, by being open. Funny thing, she is less physical with me now than before, but I think this is tied to her own increasing (non-obesity, she is skinny) physical disability, not me. But, I certainly feel more attractive, more loose, easy walking, etc. Like Dub, I don't regret this surgery for a minute -- I recently rode a bike again for the first time in 20+ years, it was great. I walk the lab without getting out of breath. I got up flights of stairs without panting. I get flirted with again from women I don't know....I don't encourage it (100% monogamous entire married life of four decades) but I recognize it and smile!

I'm still pre-op and I've only been married one year but my husband is excited I'm getting wls he's super supportive and very affectionate and loving

I think that many couples would benefit from counseling before surgery and then after. As I stated before I'm part of a sleeved couple! We have been together for 16 going on 17 years. He and I are best friends. We have normal everyday issues. Being sleeved has brought us closer. What works for us "talking" simply talking!

All I can say is that if there were problems before you are sleeved there going to be magnify after such a procedure. Marriages are alive and require time and attention. When people lose weight they often receive a lot of outside positive nurturing. Make sure you take time to complement your spouse and review. Take care of yourself and your spouse.