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What did you tell people about your absence?

Please excuse if this is a stupid question, I am still working at getting my head around all of this. ???? And I am hoping someone has struggled with same.

Ok, I get that I can't untell anybody at work and I understand the wisdom of that stance. Truth is, I am generally very quiet at work and I don't talk to my larger work family about lots of personal business. My supervisor who is also a dear friend knows all about my plans and she agrees its nobody's business but mine.

I plan to say simply that I have changed my diet and increased activity to explain the wt loss. But, when people are out of work, it's always a topic of conversation - even if you don't want it to be. What are you doing while off, where did you go, etc. Compounded by the fact that I am rarely out of work. I plan to take about a week and 1/2 and in over ten years, I have never been out of work that long.

How have other people explained their absence without creating some big lie? ????

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I have bladder issue so I said I was having bladder surgery to help with my continued pain. That also covered why I had to change my diet. I know a litte but not far fetched.

I work with mostly men....so if asked..."girlie stuff". Easy way to drop that subject. :) Good luck everyone!

  • Author

Difficult too that we work around a lot of doctors and nurses, most in my little section are not, but there are lots of them around here!

I shared that I was just doing a staycation to catch up on things around the house. Have been losing and gaining for awhile so was not a huge shock when I started losing weight.

I told them I went to Mexico for surgery.

"What kind of surgery?"

It's called vertical sleeve gastrectomy where they remove 80% of your stomach. I did it to help me lose weight.

Easy answer....no big lie.

I plan on telling them. But I prefer to tell them afterwards.

I work in a hospital full of medical professionals who will figure it out lol. I have a few co-workers who I am SURE got it done but I don't ask because I know it's a taboo thing and quite frankly their medical history is none of my business.

Therefore your medical history is none of theirs. BUT people are not stupid. These surgeries are becoming a lot more common and whether you want to share or not they will figure it out. If you are uncomfortable with a big lie then tell the truth. You may be saving someone else's life ????

I also took 10 days off. Just told people had vacation time to take so I didn't lies it at end of year and was just doing staycation to take care of things I usually don't have time for. I was "dieting" before surgery, and they still think I am, so nothing said about weight loss.

  • Author

I'll have to give the whole thing some thought and appreciate the feedback.

I am considering having the gastric sleeve. Appointment is in two weeks. I have already thought about what I would say to friends and family. That I am having my gall bladder out as your diet has to change No fatty food for instance plus you do loose weight for this operation..

I told my immediate team and close friends at work. I'm not ashamed of it, but I didn't want to hear the stories from medical experts of someone they know who died, or had complications etc. When I return, I'll be happy to share why I was out! I am taking 5 weeks off.

  • 2 weeks later...

Who cares what anybody thinks. We all did the surgery to help us lose weight. I tell everyone and am amazed how many people have friends or relatives who have done it and have heard so many success stories. Its not something to be ashamed of. I am only 9 days post op and am loving it.

@@dietbelle be careful about telling that particular lie unless you have already had your gall bladder out. Many wls patients end up having their gall bladders out in the first year after surgery due to rapid weight loss. If that happens to you, you'll either have to pile another lie on top of the first, or come clean.

IMO (and this is for everyone, not just @@dietbelle) If you don't want to tell people exactly what you are doing, don't. If people ask why you were away from work, or you tell someone in advance, just say you are taking/took some personal time off. If they ask why or what for, just repeat "personal time off" and add emphasis to personal.

If they know you had surgery but you don't want to disclose what kind of surgery, say something like "gosh, that's really personal" or "I'm afraid I'd embarrass us both terribly if I went into the gory details" -- let them think you're getting anal fissures repaired or something like that.

For me, I never just say "exercise and eating less" when someone asks about weight loss. There is so much stigma around weight loss surgery, I want to try to remove some of that. All people know are third-hand horror stories. Furthermore, so many people believe that it should be possible just to diet away 100+ lbs. I don't want to feed into that misperception. And, I really don't care what people think about my medical choices, if they don't like it, they can step off.

All that said, I've told everyone who asked, and I only got one negative reaction. People may be more supportive and open-minded than you are anticipating. I also knew that if I fudged the truth and said I was losing weight just by eating less and exercising more, people would eventually figure it out and regard me as a dishonest person. My reputation and relationships are invaluable to me -- I don't care what people think about my medical choices, but I absolutely do care about what people think about my character. I don't want to ever be seen as sneaky or less than honest in any way.

@@Good apple --

Very good about "changed my diet and increased activity." It's all true.

Why not "vacation time" -- just loafing around and doing things close to home? It's partly true and, in this case, true enough. Let it be known beforehand that you'll be out. Disappearing without a word implies some sort of medical or emergency situation.

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

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