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I'm bummed, y'all. So bummed.
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I had my psych eval a couple of weeks ago.
It was not at ALL what I expected: I filled out literally 30 pages of background information on myself, then had to answer 338 true or false questions on a computer - one of which was: "Evil spirits sometimes possess my body"...then spent not quite an hour talking to the doctor.
We barely spoke about food or my relationship with food - instead, she thinks I have the potential to become an alcoholic (because my mother is an alcoholic and I enjoy a glass of wine after dinner most nights) who also has a mild case of PTSD stemming from my sister being sexually abused when we were children. I left her office completely dumbfounded, like "WTF just happened?". I really thought the purpose of this evaluation was to see where my head was at as it pertained to the surgery and the permanent changes I will need to make afterwards, but like I said - we barely spoke about the surgery.
Then I get a phone call from my surgeon's office. Apparently the psychiatrist presented my "case" to a board that included her peers, as well as a representative from my surgeon's office, and together they decided that I need to see a counselor for at least a couple of sessions and have that person put together some kind of treatment plan for me before I can be cleared for surgery. The counselor I have to see didn't have any open appts until Dec 2 and Dec 9, which I have already scheduled, but even if I get the clearance on Dec 9 and it's submitted to my insurance the same day that isn't enough time for them to review and approve (provided they approve it on the first try) and for me to then do the 2 week diet in order to have the surgery done in 2015. Because in 2016 my insurances changes to a high deductible plan - $3000 vs the $700 it currently is (which of course has already been met this year). Thankfully my employer will contribute $2200 in January to use towards the deductible and/or other medical expenses, but it's still another $800 I will need to cover. Not to mention the money I will need to spend if I also need to redo any of the tests or labwork I've had to do already.
I don't deny that I would probably benefit from speaking to a professional about my issues, but this surgery is one thing in my life I feel completely in control of. I am ready for it. I'm ready for the changes.
With the addition of these two newest appts..with all the appts I have already been to (tests, lab/blood work, follow-ups) I will have been to a total of 24 appts since August, including the first info session. I rearranged my schedule at work countless times to accommodate my appts, burned through nearly 50 hours of vacation time...I even cancelled a cruise for this! I will have spent nearly $1500 out of pocket, because although my insurance covers the surgery and the hospital stay it won't cover any of the pre- or post- op requirements...I've got journals and food plans and I've reorganized cabinets in my kitchen to make room for "my" food...
I'm dedicated and determined and READY, and I feel like I got robbed because I never even had the opportunity to tell any of this to the psychiatrist.
I realize this is just a delay, not a no, but I still can't help but feel completely defeated. I have done everything I have been asked to do, and all of my doctors have been wonderful as far as working me in and helping me to get this done before the end of the year...only to be derailed by a woman I literally talked to for just under an hour and other people who never met me, never spoke to me - but yet feel they know me well enough to know I'm "not ready" for this.
Sorry for the length. I just needed to vent
I'll be fine. I'm just mad at the world right now. And thinkin' that I shoulda just went to Mexico.