So why does this annoy me so much?

[gowalking 10,790]

A friend at work told me her MIL had WLS. As this friend has always known about my being banded, she had no problem telling me her obese and ill (comorbidities such as Type2 diabetes and hypertension) MIL finally decided to do something about her situation and had some type of surgery. (She's not sure which one).

It's now about five months since mom had surgery and my friend tells me she hasn't lost much weight at all. I was surprised that it wasn't noticible after this much time but now I know why. Friend had her in-laws over last weekend and she said her MIL ate basically the same way she did before surgery. The only difference she could see was the amount was somewhat smaller but otherwise, she was eating the same food she ate before. Bagels at Breakfast, bad choices at lunch and dinner....and still drinking both wine and hard liquor. Including mixed drinks with high sugar additives.

I can't begin to tell you all how much this bothered me. Why have surgery if you're not going to follow the rules? How did this get past her meeting with the psychologist? Why waste the opportunity when I see so many on these boards who desperately want surgery and can't get it.

Anyway...that's why I put this is rants & raves. Can't do anything about it even though I'd like to shake this woman into appreciating the opportunity she was given..and has decided to throw away.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Well, I think these forums demonstrate that not everyone is provided appropriate guidance and education. When I was banded, I did not receive appropriate instructions at all.... I was simply told that i would "only want petite portions". That was the extent of my nutritional counseling and education from the surgeon.

I do not think carbs are evil, and healthy carbs are required for good health, but alot of us professional dieters were terribly misinformed during the "low fat" era of the medical community into thinking that rice, Pasta, Bagels, Cereal - all these relatively low fat foods - were a good healthy choice. Maybe they are for some, but if you are prone to insulin resistance, those foods are absolutely killer in that they trigger appetite and for every stinking calorie to turn to fat! It took me a long time to shift my mindset - I thought the low carb stuff was a bogus craze but I have a much better understanding now of what MY body needs.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I'm gradually getting over being irritated by a couple of things that obviously prevent some WLS patients from achieving good results, even temporary ones:

1. They're not smart enough to qualify for WLS. I mean that literally, as in below average intelligence. TL;dr They're dumb.

2. They're not sufficiently motivated to change their ways, i.e., they take little to no responsibility for the situation they're in or what they need to do to get better. Tl;dr They're lazy.

I see many people on this board who suffer from both these shortcomings. They don't have a clue about how to find out how many calories, Protein grams, other nutrients are in food. They either don't have or don't bother to use basic online research skills to find out. And even if you tell them, they can't remember what they've learned. No matter how many clues, cues, tips you offer they just don't get it and/or can't retain it or can't be bothered to apply the information.

With regard to why psychologist screening didn't catch these people -- a lot of them had no psychological screening. They went to surgeons who would perform WLS on a duck if the duck paid them.

(I'm in a mood.)

EDIT: P.S. Yes, there are other reasons some people don't have success with WLS -- complications, medications that retard their weight loss / maintenance, mental health issues, lack of familial support, tough life situations that they simply can't overcome, etc. But the two issues listed above are intake variables that the entire medical community should be screening for very effectively. And they're not.

[Dub 10,032]

You are right.

It's frustrating. Especially frustrating when you care for someone's health more than they apparently do.

I think there is a great misconception that has been permeated into urban legend that weight loss surgery does the work for you.

We all know that it does not and that it takes effort and discipline to be successful post op.

Seeing a lack of effort or discipline from folks post-op is sad because you know they are simply prolonging their struggle and if they don't snap out of it they may even be worse off now.

[lauraellen80 855]

That is so frustrating--and people like that just contribute to the negative image many people still have of WLS and make it harder for those of us who work our butts off after surgery to overcome the social stigma.

I'm so glad that my surgeon's practice is as thorough as they are with pre-ops. I had to take quizzes on nutrition and on what the surgery does and doesn't do before they cleared me--they were very clear that the surgery itself only does so much, and the rest is up to you! Still... at my one-week follow-up, I met a girl in the waiting room who was about a week ahead of me, and she was saying that she'd already gotten a smoothie from a convenience store. Sooooooo... yeah, like @@VSGAnn2014 said... some people are just dumb, no matter how much education they receive.

[Elode 8,093]

I'm beginning to think this whole Psychiatric Evaluation is a crock of (poop). It's a way to make money obviously. When I had mine they couldn't recommend surgery and they couldn't say not to. Real informative I know. I feel like I've more than succeeded and I didn't even get a defiant yes. They got a good 500 from my insurance company and I got surgery so... I've seen many eyebrow raising post that make me wonder how in the hell they ever got approved for surgery in the first place. How can someone with a serious eating disorder get cleared for surgery before they even have it under control? I'm not a psychiatrist and I'm not a surgeon BUT even that makes me say DUH! Of course they are going to have problems! Same with the Nutritionist a few appointments aren't going to be enough to teach people especially "older" people how to properly eat. I had 4 mandated appointments before I was cleared. I've been studying the body for 8 years and nutrition for the past 2 and I am still learning everyday. With all that being said people have to take some responsibility for their own health. The Internet is a wonderful thing. If you don't know, you learn! When you know better, you do better~ Maya Angelou

[The Candidate 3,215]

It really goes to show how paramount the pre op education portion should be stressed, and also enforced. This is pretty much a one way ticket punch. You not only have to know where you're going, but how difficult the route is along the way. And most importantly, that success isn't a given.

It was so hard for me to wait a year, including six months of classes, especially knowing that other regions in my insurance program only required three months of classes. But now I'm eternally grateful, and doubly so that that I found this place three months before my classes even began, and I've been here ever since.

I was well prepared for the realities of my surgery, and that has really helped me to adjust better to post op life.

Edited November 5, 2015 by The Post Op

[Sharon1964 2,530]

I can't begin to tell you all how much this bothered me. Why have surgery if you're not going to follow the rules? How did this get past her meeting with the psychologist? Why waste the opportunity when I see so many on these boards who desperately want surgery and can't get it.

I think that sentence pretty much sums it up.

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

There are, unfortunately, limits to what psychological evaluations, info sessions, nutritional counseling, patient education, and even Bariatric Pal can do to ready a patient physically and mentally for the demands of this journey. We appear, in this instance, to have an all too familiar case of a patient who was ill-prepared to make any lifestyle modifications and who likely believed surgery was a quick fix for all the world's hardships. This was not necessarily discernible in the evaluations or in any conversation the OP's MIL may have had with the surgical staff. Whether we are successful with the surgery or not, we all have quickly come to learn that steps to lose weight and use the tool we are provided are FAR easier said than done, just like losing weight without the surgery.

I don't think the OP's MIL has voluntarily made a decision to "waste" her surgery. She was just not prepared to take advantage of it, and I am not convinced that any amount of professional help, short of placing her in a hospital and letting the institution create her diet, could place her in a better position to take advantage of the surgery.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

A friend is a dietician for a bariatric program - she sees patients while in hospital. Anyway she is convinced half her patients don't fully understand the instructions. She and I have different theories as to "why" but it seems to be a common problem.

[Ashlegal 525]

I work with a woman who had Sleeve surgery eighteen months ago. I would have never known she has had WLS as she is a large woman who eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants and takes no caution to her diet.

During a luncheon last week she commented on my plate of food. A small piece of chicken, a few cubes of cheese, and some olives. A tiny toddler sized portion of food, especially compared to the loaded plates of those around me.

She said and I quote "I'm glad your surgery is working for you, mine failed me and I am thinking about suing the surgeon."

As she stuffed food into her mouth.

I was so annoyed, I excused myself and went to my desk to finish eating my plate.

It annoys me because this type of "behavior" spreads the misinformation already ignorantly discussed in our culture about WLS.

Instead of her failing herself, her tool and her decision; her surgery is marked as the failure.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

The TL:DR generation is going to be the death of us all. These are the people who don't read their handouts, don't ask their doctors or nutritionist questions and could google to save their lives. They get offended when you suggest they do a search on these forums, call their doctors/nutritionist or heaven forbid use google. They are almost always the ones complaining about not losing and say something like, "I'm following the program but cheated a little". They ask for help and then strike down every suggestion you make as "too hard/inconvenient/expensive/etc...

I just don't get it.

[2goldengirl 2,076]

She said and I quote "I'm glad your surgery is working for you, mine failed me and I am thinking about suing the surgeon."

As she stuffed food into her mouth.

I was so annoyed, I excused myself and went to my desk to finish eating my plate.

It annoys me because this type of "behavior" spreads the misinformation already ignorantly discussed in our culture about WLS.

Instead of her failing herself, her tool and her decision; her surgery is marked as the failure.

There are folks out there who will do anything to avoid taking a good, long look inside. She sounds like one of them. And so does the OP's friend's MIL.

Psych evals pre-op are to rule out major things that would preclude surgery (though I'm amazed at the esample of eating disorder that did get approved). It's a health plan requirement that has been present since the early days of WLS. My HP just changed their criteria and no longer requires it, though the surgeons do.

What amazes me is that we don't get more education on how our bodies work. We get one body to do us our whole lives (though the option exists to exchange a few parts if they wear out). We have instructions and warning labels on everything, but we aren't taught how to take care of the most valuable machine we own. I think basic anatomy and physiology out to be required - folks would be less susceptible to internet legends if they were.

Edited November 5, 2015 by 2goldengirl

[Babbs 14,681]

I'm convinced that if they truly cracked down on who is having these surgeries and started comprehensive screenings before someone could go under the knife, there would be a very small percentage who would actually be eligible to have it. Just look at the amount of posters who moan about actually having to wait to have surgery to meet the insurance requirements, instead of just using it as an opportunity to learn as much as they can about the process and maybe, just maybe not worry about food funerals and worry more about proper nutrition and exercise?

Unfortunately, these surgeons have turned it into a money making racket. A WLS assembly line of sorts. Like Ann said, they would operate on a duck if he waddled in with the cash. I know in my seminar, my surgeon exclaimed proudly while bemoaning the required waiting periods from insurance, "Heck, I'd do surgery on you tomorrow if you were self pay!"

That statement says it all about the state of the WLS industry. And yes, it's turned into an industry since obesity has become an epidemic in the last 2 decades.

[Bandista 7,466]

We don't live in an era of personal responsibility, that's for sure. Our society seems to be filled with people waiting for some one to tell them what to do when so they can then resent it and complain. We've unleashed generations of people who will not grow up or wake up. The wasted potential is mind-boggling and very frustrating on so many levels.

I am one of the lucky people who have health insurance and fairly good medical care. I like our hospital and their program there -- a good surgeon and staff, etc. But I did not learn much about the Lapband there. I got that information through this forum. I was on here for months prior to my surgery reading all I could, asking questions and noting who the successful people were so I could follow them.

Okay, what does this mean: TL:DR

I am so out of it!