I work in a large office I am not telling anyone what I'm doing. My reasons are.

It's really none of their business

I don't want the first question to be all the time "how much weight have you lost now"

Or... The people who judge I don't need negativity in my life. I'm finding my support from my family. My children and significant other and this group. What are the pros and cons of this choice?

It has nothing to do with drama or asking for attention. And not for nothing I get the attention when I'm out in public and say or do nothing, like hey look at fat ass over there, or look at that fat f***.

Jeez! That's awful. Sorry that has happened.

Sadly the world has a lot of ignorant and uneducated people. I promised myself though that in the face of the ignorance I would not become bitter, but rather pay it forward and help those like me and support them.

I am a big fan of telling. I have told friends, family and about 1/2 my co-workers. Not one single person has tried to talk me out of anything, and heaven help them if they did. Everyone has been super supportive. I know that everyone is not so lucky. Still I also believe that we are only as sick as the secrets we keep. Pre-op I was a bit more cautious especially with co-workers, but my boss was one of the first people I told (again lucky) but I wanted to ensure I had his support to be out of the office so much (even though I have tons of use or lose leave). Post-op, my philospophy is tell it, own it, love it, and if someone else doesn't love it, then good for them because they don't have to have the surgery;-)

cookie_girl,

It’s always a tough choice. Here are some of the pros and cons I see of not telling your co-workers.

Pros:

-(as you said, it’s none of their business and you don’t need them bugging you about how much weight you’ve lost)

-you don’t need to feel guilty if they say something that makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong, like if they start monitoring your lunch choices.

Cons:

-it might be nice if they understood why sometimes you feel sick all of a sudden, or have lots of doctor’s appointments.

-It gives you an easy and true excuse (“Have some chocolate.” “No, thanks, I can’t eat that because of my surgery.”)

-you might make some new friends as you find out who supports you at work.

Either way, do whatever you think is right. And remember it’s not an all-or-nothing thing. You can tell some colleagues but not others, and you can tell half-truths, like you had a medical procedure that changes your eating rules.

You have to do whats BEST for YOU

It's an independent decision. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to go. I'm an open book. I've shared my surgery with total strangers but I see it as a blessings so its a responsibility to share with others that could benefit from my story. Today I just told someone that I had gastric bypass only to find out her sister was in the hospital recovering from RNY. She felt so relieved and asked me if I would help her sister because she doesn't have anyone around her that understands this lifestyle. Of course, I agreed. :-)

I don't want to tell my direct supervisor (who does my schedule) as she will tell everyone. I thought about just saying I'm having the hernia repair only and just taking a few days off. But if I do FMLA (in case I need more days or for check ups etc.) will it say hernia repair or gastric sleeve?

Hey I might use that at work.

Thanks

It's never crossed my mind to not tell people, if they ask. The several close friends I have told have stated that they think it is a very brave decision to take, and they are so supportive.

I've always been of the opinion that people will figure it out anyway. I went to a family party yesterday where many noticed my weight loss. I always say thank you and say I'm working on it. If they want more details I say I had wls, eat low carb and exercise. The only negative response I've ever received was from a close friend that I think feels insecure about her own weight issues. I'm so busy with working on myself that I can't get too worked up about what anyone else thinks.