Well after much research and toil - I've been lucky enough to be able to do a cash-pay here in the states! I had made up my mind to go to Mexico. had it all planned out. my dad didn't want me to go. now, i'm 44 years old so i'll go if i want to but i respect my dad and i told him i had to do this so he said to me - do it in the states and i'll give you the money (loan). i was hesitant because my dad is my best friend and i didn't want to put him out just cuz i was fat and undisciplined and wanted this elective procedure but desperation won out and i accepted so he got a loan for me.

i'm using dr soong who i know personally ( i play tennis with his wife) here in las vegas at Surgical Weight Loss Control Center . I'm 44, 5'3 and 230lbs. This is my highest weight. Now just to put it in perspective - I was Ms. Puerto Rico at one point in my life and I have a very LOW opinion of my current self due to this and many other messed up mental factors that women have to deal with in America and especially cities like Vegas (LA, NY, etc). so i literally feel like LESS of a human being becuz i'm fat. i feel like i'm not as respected as a professional nor as a woman. i feel like i'm viewed as undisciplined and gross.

back in the day when i walked into a room. i owned it. now when i walk into a room i just want to hide. i wish i had the means to have done this sooner. im sure i've lost over 2000lbs in my lifetime. always yo-yo dieting. phentermine, starving, tried to purge but it was too hard, medifast, weight watchers, nutrisystem, you name it. i did it. but the weight always came back with a vengeance.

i have several friends (3) that have done this and they say it's the best thing they've ever done. i wish i had had the means to do it before now but i didn't. i'm very excited to share my journey with you all.

Edited September 18, 201510 yr by pr_pitbullgrl

sometimes you have an experience that puts your life into perspective. this is the second such experience for me this month actually. im at dean petersen elementary at a "community partner meeting". as i'm driving in struggling to find parking i say to myself (jokingly) fuck! where's the valet in this place! (haha). i park and go into the meeting. as i'm sitting there listening to how kids come in on mondays that haven't eaten most of the weekend. they come in with dirty clothes everyday. the parents don't just live in government housing they live in WEEKLY rentals. one little girl in the first grade refuses to walk to school. even tho it's across the street she wants to come in the stroller. the parent has no coping mechanism to deal with her so she just relents and brings her in the stroller and that kid (obviously) has behavioral AND social issues.

so the next time i'm pulling into a school in my fancy car with my $70 nails and apple watch i need to remind myself not to complain about money. and THEN i need to remind myself to be grateful (which i normally am VERY grateful) but don't even let ONE DAY go by when you forget to be. then ask myself, am i giving back? (the answer is yes i am - my animal foundation funds and sponsors many animals/dogs) but i could always do more. and lastly i ask myself. if you're not doing either of the first two things then are you at least living your life to the best of your ability? and the answer to that is a resounding NO. you are fat. you are undisciplined. your bathroom is messy, you need to spend more quality time with mango, need to make sure your live every moment as though it's your last. you're old! now is the time. don't wait!

and that is my lesson to myself today.

Pre surgery issues.

Heading to Wendy's.

Says to self: I'll just get a potato and some chili. Do they still have potatoes?

Gets to drive thru: "yeah I'll have the pulled pork cheese french fries a single cheeseburger and a small Coke please"

Lol. Oh well soon I won't be able to eat any of this so whatev lol.

I understand and good luck on your decision. Xmas will definitely be better

I had a food funeral for Wendy's today too. It wasn't even all that good. Kind of a waste. I didn't even eat the fries. I ate like 7 chicken nuggets.

yeah mine wasn't that good either smh. i have my pre op appnt this thursday i supposed that's when they tell me about my pre op diet and stuff so in the meantime i'm eating plenty of the stuff i like but like you said it's not that satisfying. nothing tastes as good as being skinny (and yeah yeah healthy) will feel i'd rather be anything than this.

I understand and good luck on your decision. Xmas will definitely be better

thank you so much. xo

I also had my food funeral before surgery. I'm 16 weeks post op as of today

I also had my food funeral before surgery. I'm 16 weeks post op as of today

how are things going?

Things are better than expected. I'm healthy in every aspect. I'm Down 95 lbs.

Things are better than expected. I'm healthy in every aspect. I'm Down 95 lbs. ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1442960340.750480.jpgImageUploadedByBariatricPal1442960363.511951.jpg

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1442960413.335881.jpg

95LBS IN 16 WEEKS!!???

Yes. My SW was 305. I'm now 210. My goal is 200.

Yes. My SW was 305. I'm now 210. My goal is 200.

im doing that thing they do when they worship someone lol. that's amazing. if i get that close to goal in 16 weeks i'll freak! lol. how have you found the process? is this your first/only WLS?

First surgery of any kind so i was scared since I don't like hospitals lol. Ice read so many stories on this site and was scared with the different issues people were experiencing. I'm so thankful I didn't have any reactions to food or surgery. My only concern was taking vitamins on a daily basis but I been using a patch that provides all the vitamins I need and found out my body is absorbing all of it and my dr and nut told me to only use half of the patch. I didn't think I would get to this size so fast. My frustration now is clothe since I keep losing. I thought I would stop at a size 38 since I was a 46-48. I'm now using 36.

that is AMAZING. Im so happy for you! what is this Vitamin patch? i need to know this cuz i'm not great at taking pills. is it a daily thing? do tell. and again, congrats. so awesome.

Btw. Where are you from ?

Here is the patch info. It's a daily patch it cost $20 for a 30 day supply which is a bargain comparing it to all the pills we have to take.