Stupid things people say when they find out you've had surgery....

[njgal 535]

A lot of these are responses I would have given myself before surgery was on my radar. So I know it doesn't originate from a bad place. It's more about not knowing what to say or even think about how it will be perceived. But let's face it; a lot of us don't really know how to take a compliment either... or anything you say can be taken in a number of ways and one can't really calculate all possible perceptions in that split second we are given after seeing somebody change so drastically.

I haven't told anybody except for hubby and sister-in-law. But I don't see how I can honestly not tell people once the changes become visible. If it helps but one person it'll be worth it.

This thread is great, it has helped me prepare for a lot of possible responses. I've also decided that I will do something along the lines of a reverse intervention. I'll put all the people I care about in a room and make it a "any question goes" free for all session. Answer all questions, ease all worries etc but I'll only do this post surgery. Until then I don't feel like explaining myself. I've always been like that and know myself well enough to know this'll work for me best if I don't have 5 different opinions thrown at me from different directions.


H 5'6" HW 253, CW 245, TBS 9/19

[IveGotThePower 395]

A new one the other day, " You don't look sickly at all". :-| Uh...thanks?

[tuhok1591 34]

[tuhok1591 34]

I HAVE ONE! AND THIS I GUESS IS A QUESTION TOO....
***YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT****
AS IF I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY....
WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU ALL SAY WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THAT TO YOU???????? HAPPENS TO ME ALMOST DAILY AND I JUST DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT TO SAY, ESPECIALLY WHEN I REFUSE TO DISCUSS MY WEIGHT LOSS WITH ANYONE....

I just say that I have been working very hard, walking, exercising, and watching what I eat. I have only told a few people that I felt would be supportive. Some feel the need to ask how much weight I have lost at almost every conversation. I am only two months out, and don't feel I should have to defend my progress, stalls and all. I suppose they only think progress = pounds lost. So not true as there are many NSV to Celebrate. Oh, and my favorite pre-surgery comment, "you just need to learn how to eat right." Well now I am learning how to eat right and not be ravenously hungry all the time. Now I have an off switch and am learning to have some will power too! Ignore those who feel they have the right to ask personal questions or decide what is best for you. Besides, when did they receive their doctorate? Keep up the good work everyone!

[Sleeveforme2017 144]

Wow... Just wow... I'm sorry but you're married to an abusive @$$hole

Sent from my SM-G900FD using BariatricPal mobile app

I agree

[bigjoe1234 48]

Wow... Just wow... I'm sorry but you're married to an abusive @$$hole

Sent from my SM-G900FD using BariatricPal mobile app

Maybe your spouse scared you might start getting g attention from. The opposite sex

[bigjoe1234 48]

Wow... Just wow... I'm sorry but you're married to an abusive @$$hole

Sent from my SM-G900FD using BariatricPal mobile app

Maybe your spouse scared you might start getting g attention from. The opposite sex

[bigjoe1234 48]

Wow... Just wow... I'm sorry but you're married to an abusive @$$hole

Sent from my SM-G900FD using BariatricPal mobile app

Maybe your spouse scared you might start getting g attention from. The opposite sex

[bigjoe1234 48]

Wow... Just wow... I'm sorry but you're married to an abusive @$$hole

Sent from my SM-G900FD using BariatricPal mobile app

Maybe your spouse scared you might start getting g attention from. The opposite sex

[bigjoe1234 48]

Wow... Just wow... I'm sorry but you're married to an abusive @$$hole

Sent from my SM-G900FD using BariatricPal mobile app

Maybe your spouse scared you might start getting g attention from. The opposite sex

[sylvia2017 166]

It took me a year pre op to get approved. 6 months weight management program, dietician, psychologist the whole nine yards so I told everyone. I think that it's about all I've talked about since August. I was more embarrassed about being at one point 330 lbs. I didn't care what people thought I was proud of my hard work. And as I'm losing weight I share my experience. It's easier for me to just talk about it and get it out. People gonna judge either way so I say I got the sleeve and I'm doing great. Don't let anybody make you feel weird about it. It's your journey.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using BariatricPal mobile app

[katsmeow 7]

I think my husband is worried about what happens when I start looking good but I figure that is a good thing. He can stop taking me for granted

[Navigating the Wilderness 824]

On 11/8/2016 at 0:07 PM, southbound said:

He mouthed off "good luck we will see you in a year when you can't absorb nutrients and are malnourished and sick"

[Berry78 4,259]

At 2 months out, I'd lost 45/150lbs. My MIL says, "I thought you'd be skinny (at goal) after 3 months!"

During a family reunion, I told my Aunts that I'd had surgery. One tells a story about someone she'd known with an early bypass, and that she'd had continuing issues with it. I just nodded. It's true that bypasses weren't as good 20 years ago. (but I didn't have the bypass anyway),

My other Aunt says, "Isn't it true that you can gain the weight back?" She actually asked it as a question instead of an accusation.. so I did spend the time educating her that yes, it's up to me to put the right things on the plate. I did get huffy with her when I mentioned I hadn't started a consistent exercise routine yet, and she says "you know you have to exercise!". I said, "Well, duh! I wasn't allowed to do much the first 2 months, so it's only been the last month that I've been kinda slacking." Once I explained that exercise is limited for 2 months after the surgery, it kinda helped her understand that the surgery IS a big deal, and has been a lot for me to get over.

[XYZXYZXYZ1955 675]

On the one hand, I don't give a crap for what other people say; on the other hand, my friends have been supportive and my family hasn't been as bad as I expected. But one friend did email me that she found the surgery scary, she knew a "lot " of people who had died from it, including this one woman--then she made it clear this happened some years ago. I don't know what surgery that woman had. I just responded that this was about as dangerous as having my gall bladder out, which I did about a decade ago.

I didn't go into the health risks of remaining this way, with diabetes/high blood pressure/high cholesterol/excruciating knee pain.