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Stupid things people say when they find out you've had surgery....



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I'm pretty open with what I have done. This is MY truth not theirs. I am 4 weeks post-op and still mostly on liquids but I find because I am so positive and hopeful (down 30 lbs) the questions I get are more curious then judgmental. People not knowledgable about bariatric surgery just need a little schooling.

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The only boneheaded comment I've gotten was this:

At 2 weeks post-op, I was talking to a co-worker about my liquid diet and mentioned I had lost 8 lbs. She said, "Only 8 pounds?! I would hope that if I had been on a liquid only diet for 2 weeks I would lose more than that!" This coming from a woman who bounces between a size 2 and 6 and goes on a crash diet before every beach vacation so she can look good in her bikinis!

I feel for everyone who has gotten insensitive comments from people, especially family. I have a long history of my mother being overly critical of me about many things. Luckily, my weight has not really been one of them (probably because others in my family are/have been obese as well).

The only insensitive thing my mother said to me concerning weight was when I would mention something about my weight, and she (at 5'2" and 145 lbs) would chime in with how overweight she was and how much she needed to lose. When I would tell her it's not the same, she would say things like, "I'm shorter than you are." (hmm, really? 2 inches make that big a difference?) and "This is the biggest I've ever been!" (cry me a river!)

Some people just wear me out! <_<

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Oops, forgot one! My 21 year old stepson came over when I was about 2 weeks post op and asked me how much weight I've lost. Comments like this are not uncommon from him, but really??? Must I continue to explain what is okay and what is not now that you are a grown man?

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I guess I've been lucky. I haven't had one rude or insensitive comment and I tell everyone and their brother. Most people have just been curious about what my life is like now.

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I find that EVERYONE is now on a diligent diet since I lost all this weight. My mom, my sister, and people at work are all self conscious about their weight now. I never cared about their weight but apparently they all cared about mine. They feel that they can all do it without surgery. I think that it's all insane. I did the surgery for me.

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Yes, I see a family member dieting now also. I'm taking it as though I inspired him. But it could very well be a little competition going on from his way of thinking. I wish him all the success in the world. But in the end I believe this amazing sleeve gives me a huge advantage and I almost feel a little sorry for him, because I think he still believes it's just a matter of willpower. I now know it is SO much more than that.

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I'm two years out, the other day I was talking to the librarian of the school I work at about having pictures taken. I told him that Before I lost weight I hated having my picture taken, but now I don't mind. He said" what you've lost weight?" I said " 100 pounds !" He said what? "I don't remember you being fat!" I had to say thank you and try not to laugh.

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"You took the easy way out" like are u serious

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Seriously, I've been astounded at a lot of the things people say. Since I had not heard them before, I found it hard to believe that people would be so insensitive. Until this past weekend. At a party, talking to a guy whose name I didn't even know, he kept questioning me about why I wasn't drinking (it was a wine tasting party, and he had seen me tasting at previous parties) so I finally told him, and he said:

"So why don't you just put down the fork?"

:o :angry:

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This older man I saw yesterday doesn't know HOW I lost weight but he complimented me and said I looked great. Then he asked, "Are you still married?" I respond 'yes' with a confused look. Then he says, "Well most people who lose weight and end up looking as good as you leave their spouses." I said, "Well, I don't see what the number on the scale has to do with my wedding vows...But my husband has said people probably wonder why we are together and I tell him they must assume he's filthy rich or very well endowed." That worked. LOL

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I'm pretty open with what I have done. This is MY truth not theirs. I am 4 weeks post-op and still mostly on liquids but I find because I am so positive and hopeful (down 30 lbs) the questions I get are more curious then judgmental. People not knowledgable about bariatric surgery just need a little schooling.

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Exactly.

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My overweight best friend looks at my success and is thinking about getting sleeved. Her question: "so..when can I eat potatoes, breads and gravy again?" I don't think she's ready yet...

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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