So tired of people saying you dont need surgery!

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Random person: "you don't need surgery"

You: "thanks!"

or

"thanks, I'll tell my surgeon! He'll be so happy to hear it!"

or

"is that how you say "good luck" in your language?"

or

"it's so cute that you think I'm asking for your opinion."

or, in the case of a medical professional who is not on your bariatric team,

"I'd like to speak to your supervisor now."

[mdslc 44]

I have had so many people that say you dont need surgery. Or even people that say you're taking the easy way out. UMMM by reading what I have read so far about this surgery...it is not the easy way out! I wish people realized what all I will have to go thru. And I absolutely need this surgery, if not for my health, for my sanity. I cannot stand the person I have become. Cant find anything to wear, my closet full of cute clothes dont fit, I have gained 50 lbs in 10 months, cant bend down to shave my legs for crying out loud, dont want to have sex with hubby of 20 years, I cut my hair off because I am too lazy to fix it, out of breath, dont want to go to parties or summer events involving bathing suit.....the NEED for surgery is crutial to my mental well being. I feel so excited about my surgery and I want to shout it to the roof tops. Then when I do I get this reaction. What a bummer! People are so mean some times.

As a guy I felt so disappointed in myself with the person I allowed myself to become. I saw a few pictures of myself from the holidays last year and could not believe what I saw, then I got on the scale and almost passed out. I personally felt like this was the easy way out and that I was a failure for not being able to control my weight. Then I met with a psychologist and dietitian a few times for pre-op approval. That was the most humbling and spiritual experience I felt in a long time. This is just another tool that some people need to lose and keep weight off. I also haven't told many people and I still don't care to. It's a personal decision and one you should be very proud of. Losing weight, getting self confidence and being more fit, active and healthy are what I look forward too. When people ask me how I am losing weight, I just tell them I started eating less, I'm still being honest with them, I just neglect to tell them I had most of my stomach removed . Remember, you did this for you and your health, who cares what people think.

[perk4756 259]

Pinlgirl1234 you said it! Mostly they don't want you to feel better abt yourself cause they don't. Lol. I also haven't told many other than my family. They are all happy for me. Yes they have concerns like any surgery. But positive! Especially my husband. Hr knows how much this means to me

.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

So many "stink-eye" references...

This is my current favourite thread for exactly that reason...

And I'm guessing it will remain so until another "boobs" thread (or something similar) kicks off...

Keep bringing the stink-eye ladies!!!

Kinda...

Edited August 13, 2015 by KindaFamiliar

[AmyNLaynie6 8]

This is why I don't plan on telling many people.

[slvarltx 332]

I told a nurse once that said "what are you doing here, you don't need WLS, that's the easy way out" that I once had bronchitis and took antibiotics and I guess that was the easy way out because my body could have healed itself. Crickets.

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

A whole lot of (invariably thin) people say those things out of a sense of self-promotion. "Look at me, I can do it with diet and exercise, so can you." Some are not totally malevolent, but a lot of them derive a lot of self-worth by being thin in an environment where so many of us are obese. The advice is the same across the board...don't listen, don't respond, don't start a fight. I even retired my old go-to line of "if you were in my shoes you wouldn't be able to do it either." A number of thin friends felt punctured at that statement and it was in no way my intention to inflict emotional hurt. They have no reason to understand the realities of weight loss and regain and why surgery makes things different, and they have no reason to spend the time learning about it, and they are not bad people for being misinformed. Only when somebody gets aggressive and starts to tell you about his/her diet, workout, spiritual cleanse, etc... should you put your foot down and say that person has overstepped and their advice is incorrect.

[judyoz 240]

I know how you feel which is why I've only told 3 people. Today when I went for my EKG the nurse asked if I've had this done before. I said no ma'am. She then asked if this was for some kind of pre op. I said yes ma'am for Dr asad. She then asked what surgery and there it was, "well youre not gonna do THAT are you?!? You're no bigger than me!" so the whole time she was asking me questions and giving me the stink eye and attitude. Lets just say I stopped calling her ma'am after five minutes of being there

She should be reported right away.

[mykdzmom 388]

Yeah, what they said, and mean people suck!

[butterfly** 39]

OMG!! You sound like my twin.

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Certain people love it when your fat!!Makes them feel good and they have a way of feeling superior in a backhanded way..Well I am tired of being the Fat So ...so screw and do the have a conversation with them....Lie like the stars and celebrities..."diet and exercise ...I decided to make a lifestyle change" that's it nothin( more to be said.

[blondebomb 580]

I only told a few ppl..1 of them was my hubs and 2 bff's. I am 13 months out and my immediate family still don't know and when anyone asks me a "lost weight" question or health related I smile and say "My health is not up for conversation"..I smile and change the subject. there is other things to talk about then my body. some of my family is obsessed with numbers and looks and I stop it before it gets started. It already is a emotional and mental transition I wasn't about to have to deal with the lack of educated comments of others..I hate that you have to hear this...hang in there xx

[AlphaB 28]

Yeah screw that! This is NOT the easy way out. It's hard. It's painful and it requires lots of work

[limichelle34 60]

Just what we all want a nice vacation where they cut out 85% of our stomach! *rollseyes*

I swear some people think we are doing this for fun!!!

My GI doctor who I have known for years when I told her I have a consultation with the Bariatric Surgeon she gasped and in a mortified tone told me "Cancel it, surgery is too drastic and dangerous! there are no quick fixes!"

Have you guys noticed whenever bariatric surgery is mentioned somebody comes up with the "There are no quick fixes."

It makes me wonder if my GI doctor thinks I'm thinking in my brain "Great! After surgery I will snap my fingers and POOF just make the fat disappear because I' m all of a sudden this magical goddess."

Lisa

[limichelle34 60]

@@Pinkgirl1234

I agree! I think my former friends loved it when I put on the pounds! Hence the former friends. When I was young and thin they used to always complain to me how beautiful I was back then. When I first started putting on the pounds it gave them more power to knock me down and smile at my ailments with the weight.

My ex boyfriend his mother was horrible about me being big, she compared her tiny figure to mine all the time. When I mentioned I wanted to lose all the weight. She would always go quiet. Her favorite phrase to me was. "Now I need to lose four pounds and I know from the way you are I probably don't look it."

Glad to be rid of the negative people!

Lisa