What to do when no one supports ... Your decision

[judyoz 240]

If you have all those people on your side, then you will be just fine without your mom and sisters help.

Also do you have local support groups? That will help a lot too.

Your family will come around, may not be at first but you will at least be able to go shopping with them in the future. If you want to that is

Best of luck

Judy

[SnOwCrAsHeD 56]

None of my co-workers support me.

[EricaKane 7]

I say oh well f them, you're doing it to better your health and wellbeing if that can't understand that then you need to step back and reevaluate your friendships with them... I'm cheering you on and good luck????and best wishes to the new and healthier you????????

[Running2theSleeve 40]

don't let them get you down. they have no idea what it is like to live with being overweight and struggle with it daily. they think it is just a mind over matter thing....it is not. if it was that easy we'd all be skinny. i didn't have a great support group in place when i did my surgery either but i did not let it stop me - i was determined to do this for me - 1 year ago on June 24, 2014 i had a sleeve done i weighed 326 pounds and today i weigh 191 and still losing - it is work - daily - but it is so worth it. i feel good. and no one can take that from me. i want that for you too. good luck to you!!!

That's awesome! Good for you! Wishing you much success!

[Running2theSleeve 40]

I say oh well f them, you're doing it to better your health and wellbeing if that can't understand that then you need to step back and reevaluate your friendships with them... I'm cheering you on and good luckand best wishes to the new and healthier you

My sister name is Ericka and use to go by the name Ericka Kane is H.S. too funny!

Thank you and well wishes to you!

[Running2theSleeve 40]

None of my co-workers support me.

I work for a small (but big) company and I haven't told my boss (the owner) yet. I'm not sure if I am going to tell them about the WLS or just say I'm having an outpatient procedure and will need time off?

[Running2theSleeve 40]

If you have all those people on your side, then you will be just fine without your mom and sisters help.

Also do you have local support groups? That will help a lot too.

Your family will come around, may not be at first but you will at least be able to go shopping with them in the future. If you want to that is

Best of luck

Judy

I was told by my Dietitian that Bariatric support groups at their location were really resourceful and supportive. They would like me to attend at least one class before surgery - so I will definitely give it a try!

Well wishes to you!

[devillynn 193]

i took off the week for the surgery and worked from home the week after - not sure if that is an option for you or not - but then i was back at work full time after that 2nd week.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I saw that you have children of your own... qualifies you as a "grown up" in my book.

It is very hard for people to understand the disease process called obesity. Most people see obesity as a "behavioral issue" but for the very overweight, it is much more complex issue. I had/have trim/think pals. I don't know why, but I have always been active, into horses and I guess my circle includes outdoorsy active people. I got alot of support from that crowd because they saw me struggle for years with very limited and temporary success. Also, horse people are educated on insulin resistance in horses and I could explain it to them in ways they could understand why I get fat eating a "normal" diet and not everyone else does...

So, I think that as hard as it is, you need to develop confidence in your WLS decision and realize that you probably won't have your female relatives cheering you on. As hard as it is to accept, truth is, this is largely a solo endeavor anyway... My EX brought my sons to visit me post surgery as they were terrified I was going to die - it was sweet, but it exhausted me to put on a good face for my boys.... truth is, it would have been better for me to have seen them the next day when I got home. In the end, I have found that I need to find my success "internally" - junk food around the house, holidays, parties, you name it - i had to face those demons on my own (and with my friends from this forum!!!)

[LovinSoul 113]

It is so sad that sometimes we don't get the support we need, but I mostly chalk it up to ignorance. I guess sometimes people are purposely unsupportive, but I truly think that when one goes through VSG the real problem is that those around you (especially women in your circle of close friends and family) have great difficulty adjusting to the idea that you are going to be different physically in relation to them.

For example, my sister and a few close women friends of mine were always thinner than me until recently. While they've all been supportive of my choice, they are clearly feeling like I'm "winning" a race that I'm not even running. It's so not a competition, but I think we all have that tendency to compare ourselves. All of a sudden, everyone who is close to me is exercising and asking questions about how I eat and what I eat, as if they want my secret tips.

So, maybe it's understandable when we feel a little lack of support. The key, IMO, is to remember it's their issue and not let them get inside your victory to undermine it.

I get the best support right here on this forum.

Edited July 8, 2015 by LovinSoul

[chopsitter 30]

I'm so sorry you don't have the support you need. I am lucky that my family is 100% behind me. Friends on the other hand I would say half support me. I even got into a little student with one. She is a licensed personal trainer but I'd probably 350 lbs. Has dieted but never successful. Told me I should just increase exercise, no need for surgery. I told her why, that I duet, exercise but even when I'm strick I end up gaining. Dr started it's called a setpoint. Where your body feels it needs to be a certain weight. You can lose 50 lbs but body fights to get back these pounds. She flat out told me, nope that's not true I disagree. Well, I'm sorry sounds right to me and my fight. Other friends since I told them I'm having surgery have distanced themselves from me. Others have been amazing. It's hard. But you will find a ton of support here!!!

[khaled 23]

None of my friends or my family support me. So I gave the idea that I wouldn't do it.

My surgery is next Thursday and no one knows about it expect this guy who will pick me up from the hospital.

All those people I mentioned have never struggled with weight ever !!

Go ahead and don't let other people discourage you.

[CoCoKate 21]

@Running2theSleeve do what's best for you!

people who have never had weight problems don't understand the struggle so I wouldn't take your mom and sisters opinions to heart, maybe if they had suffered weight problems they may have been a little more supportive and understanding.

if dieting was as easy as some people make out nobody on the planet would be overweight!

if you believe 100% there is no other option you should do it for your health and happiness and disregard the opinions of others, because only you know what is going to work.

sounds like you have your aunt to lean on though maybe she will be your support.

[Monnie815 64]

Ignorance is blis!!! When people don't understand that some people have medical issues that cause them from loosing weight. Keep your eye on the prize. Being a healthier happy mom for your children.

[shellyd88 463]

Hello I know how u feel unfortunately a lot of us need to be our own best advocate and cheerleaders and not take others "opinions and disapproval" to heart we are adults and don't require anyone's permission to get in better health by whatever means we can those same people will say why don't u do something about yourself blah blah and then when u do they criticize us well I say they should shut the hell up and it's certainly no easy way out either no one can understand if they aren't doing it there are rules to follow forever and this won't work if you break those rules I've dealt with people like this in my family at work etc I let people know from the get go I'm not asking your opinion or permission I'm seeing a dr that's all the advice I need so shut it down right away I'm not saying be nasty just take no shit it's your life and you will be the one dealing with issues that come with being overweight etc not them and I bet with this attitude if u do have issues they won't be of any help but surely will have more criticism I've had let those people fall by the wayside if I'm not good enough now then I don't need you in my life when I'm thinner and therefore more acceptable in their eyes so they can just as well not invite me shopping then either I don't care to go