So I've hit an interesting place in my weight loss journey. I am now exactly one pound below what I weighed when I had plastic surgery back in August 2011 after having lost 90 pounds "on my own".

When I had my plastics done, I'd been maintaining around 180 for about 8 months and I was very content at that weight. I had hoped to maybe lose a bit more, but my body seemed happy and once I had my plastics, I was very happy with the way I looked.

Now that I am back down to this weight again post-sleeve, I'm finding it challenging to motivate myself to loose the 25 more pounds to reach the goal I'd set for myself. I chose a goal weight of 155 because that would put me right in the upper end of a "healthy" BMI. My nutritionist set a goal weight of 165 for me prior to my VSG.

So even going with the more lenient goal of 165, I still need to lose 15 more pounds. I'm just having a hard time convincing myself that I really need to lose 15 or 25 more pounds! I am once again pretty happy with the way I look and feel comfortable in my skin. I am working out 5-6 days a week, finishing up Couch to 5k with the intention of running a 5k in the second half of may, doing strength training.... I feel fit and strong and like I am continuing to get fitter and stronger.

But to lose these last 15-25 pounds, I will have to remain very diligent about my eating and that has been slipping some in recent weeks. I'm still getting in all of my Protein, but I have splurged on some chips and ice cream recently. Not a ton and nothing unreasonable really for 8 months post-op, but enough to where it might have a detrimental effect on my weight loss. My loss has already been "slow" by most people's standards being very strict about my food, so I know it will slow even more if I become too lax.

It's definitely just a philosophical/psychological issue right now. If I am happy with my body and it is working well, should I be so focused on the scale? I want to say "no", but then there is part of me that just thinks I'm using that as an excuse to be more lax about my eating. "I don't NEED to lose anymore weight so a little ice cream can't hurt, right?" Those are the sorts of thoughts I'm struggling with right now.

@@JamieLogical -- I think you've done and are doing a great job of staying on track despite the occasional small splurges. And you are such an encouragement and source of reason and excellent advice for many, including myself. Whatever you decide about your "ultimate" goal weight, I'm sure it will be what you feel is best for you. Stay the course!

Just something to ponder......

March 31, 2015 - Tuesday Reality Check

It's important to not undermine your commitment to weight loss by telling yourself, “Maybe I don’t really need/want to lose weight,” or “Maybe I don’t actually have to do these things.” If you do, you will have a much, much harder time getting yourself to just do what you need to do.

From Beck Daily Diet Solutions - http://www.beckdietsolution.com/daily-diet-solutions/

April 20, 2015 - Monday Motivation

No matter what you did or didn’t eat over the weekend, today is the start of a new week and a fresh chance to have a great eating week! What are you doing to make today and this week great?

From Beck Daily Diet Solutions - http://www.beckdietsolution.com/daily-diet-solutions/

@@JamieLogical, you may be right that your body is healthy and acceptable at your current weight, but until you have reached your goal weight, you have nothing to compare it to. I think you should press on to goal and then decide if you need to stay there. When I reached my surgeon's goal weight (135 lbs), I briefly flirted with the idea of going into maintenance. I can now see that at near the top of the healthy BMI range, I was a lot less fit than I am now that I am on the low end of the healthy range (112-113 lbs).

I understand the position you're in. I hit a huge stall at around 168 and then around 155 and at 155 I was mostly ok with my size. I felt strong, I ran fast, I was healthy, and I wasn't sure if I really needed to lose more weight. It was then I started my plastic surgery procedures and I dropped a few more pounds from losing muscle when I couldn't work out.

I am very numbers oriented. I knew I would not be really happy if I didn't hit the first goal I set for myself, which was 129. I am also a little shallow and I know that at 129 there is no one who can look at me and tell me I need to lose weight. Even the cruelest person cannot legitimately call me fat at 129. I just continued what I was doing- working out, watching calories, and eventually I hit goal at the first of this month. So now my goal is 119 which was my goal when I was younger and of course, no one can call me fat at 119. I think that there is sometimes a bit of a danger in getting caught up in numbers.

I have read your posts and enjoy the thoughts you give to other people and something I have noticed is that you always comment about how strong you feel, how you feel really in shape, and how you get all your Protein. Maybe a good idea for you to try is to really re-orient yourself to your "diet" but do so because it fuels you as opposed to because it might get you to the 155 or 165 number that you're looking for. It can't hurt to cut out any junk food that may be slipping in and if you focus on a major fitness goal, like your 5K and continuing to workout and eat right because it makes you feel good as opposed to because you might drop more weight, you might be happy with the results. It seems likely as a byproduct of that, you will lose weight, but you will be doing it for reasons that matter far more to you than a number on a scale.

I know a lot of people on here like to give themselves a "cushion" of between 5 and 10 pounds below their goal weight so they can comfortably keep themselves in check without technically going over their original goal weight. Maybe the 165 or 170 can be your cushion?

Mine is 150, and if I get there, I may try for 145 just to give myself some wiggle room.

But we will see

@@AvaFern

I'm going to be honest here. Your attitude scares me a little. When is losing enough weight "enough"? Are you ever going to be happy with your weight? When you hit 119 will you then want to go to 109? You said yourself that focusing on the numbers can be dangerous. It worries me that you are on kind of a slippery slope here....

Not judging just a little concerned....

@@JamieLogical, I think that's a really great question and I've been pondering a bit myself (preparatory pondering I guess, since I'm nowhere close yet). Backstory - I was always the "biggest" cousin at 5'8" and a wingspan of 6 feet. I spent my whole "normal" life trying to be size 6 and 125 lbs like my pretty cousins, but I was athletic and hungry and my body wanted to be at 155. I got down to 135 (for about an hour) one summer when I broke it off with my fiance and was so miserable I rarely ate and worked out like crazy. Everyone told me how great I looked, even though I was utterly miserable. When I "recovered", I could maintain 145 but it was a lot of effort and I had to count every flippin calorie. At 155, I maintained with little effort, just regular working out and eating pretty healthy.

That was my life for about 12 years. Then I had a kiddo at 35, then ruptured a disk in my back, was sick with this and that, blah blah blah, gain gain gain. So now that I'm approaching the 200 mark for the first time in this millennium I am wondering how far I can go without having battle for it every day. I want to feel good, strong, healthy, fit but I don't want to have to measure every bite of food for the rest of my life or run a mile to justify a tortilla chip. My goal of 155 was set by me; my surgeon hasn't wanted to set anything yet. I'm not sure if I can get there, of how hard it will be to maintain.

My own point of view, which is also influenced by my age as I'm not in a self imposed competition any more (as an aside, come to find out my pretty cousins always felt they had to try to measure up to me in smarts. There's just no way to win, is there? We have to teach our kids strive for what they want but to love themselves for whatever gifts they're given!); I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone other than myself, and my goals are different from what they were 15 years ago. I DO like this way of eating and I DO feel different (I no longer want to eat the first thing I see when I'm hungry even it its carpet). I have to believe you do too, with as much success as you've had. So maybe keep going but don't go crazy with it.

In any case, isn't it you who is always saying this is not a sprint? Maybe your loss slows a bit - maybe you "only" lose a 1 pound a month for the next 12 months. You feel good now and will continue. 1 or 2 lbs is probably doable even with a bit of ice cream here and there. You'll still get there, if a little slower. (plus, I think the body can sense guilt.)

Just my 2 cents.

@@Babbs

Thank-you for your concern. I figure as long as I am within the healthy weight range for my height (I'm short at 5'2-5'3ish) then I'm ok with being a little obsessive about the number. I tend to be very all or nothing, so as long as I have a goal, I won't slack off, whereas I have never been good at maintaining. I think 119 is a healthy number for my height and while I'm not sure if I will be happy when I get there, I figure I will worry about it then.

Jamie, best to you. It's your decision.

I think in your shoes (I'm not) I'd buckle down and try to lose another 20 pounds.

I will let you know that the last 20 pounds I've lost have made the biggest difference in my energy level, physical abilities and looks (in a good way) compared to any of the other 20-pound losses on this whole journey.

Things just change a lot "at the end." A whole, whole lot.

Jamie, best to you. It's your decision.

I think in your shoes (I'm not) I'd buckle down and try to lose another 20 pounds.

I will let you know that the last 20 pounds I've lost have made the biggest difference in my energy level, physical abilities and looks (in a good way) compared to any of the other 20-pound losses on this whole journey.

Things just change a lot "at the end." A whole, whole lot.

I think that's part of what scares me. I feel confident and good now. I'm afraid of what I might feel like if I do lose another 20 pounds. Will I feel "too" skinny?

@@Jamie, I have read way too many threads about regrets from folks 1, 2, or 3 years out who regret never having reached goal and finding it so difficult to get back into weight loss phase. I have read very few threads, if any, from people who regret reaching goal or of being "too skinny". Frankly, barring any complications from surgery, we are all experts at gaining weight and can remedy "too skinny" should that actually ever happen by eating higher calorie foods, adding more carbs, etc. From my own experience, I am so happy I reached my goal weight. I definitely have dieter's fatigue and could not take another 20-30 lbs off this far out from surgery now. I just can't see myself getting my head back in the game. I would recommend taking full advantage of the "honeymoon".

@@Jamie, I have read way too many threads about regrets from folks 1, 2, or 3 years out who regret never having reached goal and finding it so difficult to get back into weight loss phase. I have read very few threads, if any, from people who regret reaching goal or of being "too skinny". Frankly, barring any complications from surgery, we are all experts at gaining weight and can remedy "too skinny" should that actually ever happen by eating higher calorie foods, adding more carbs, etc. From my own experience, I am so happy I reached my goal weight. I definitely have dieter's fatigue and could not take another 20-30 lbs off this far out from surgery now. I just can't see myself getting my head back in the game. I would recommend taking full advantage of the "honeymoon".

Thanks for your advice. I have decided to keep pushing forward with my weight loss, slow as it may be at this point. I don't know that I ever had a "honeymoon" phase. Maybe the first 3-4 months when I was losing without much exercise? I do know that I am working as hard or harder now to lose weight than I ever have in the past and it is going much more slowly. Aside from a stomach bug last month causing me to drop about 3 pounds in 2 days, my weight loss has "only" averaged 6 pounds a month since my second month post-op. And I have easily lost 8-10 pounds per month in the past through diet and exercise. Doing the same level of exercise I do now, but eating more calories than I'm currently capable of. All I can do is keep doing what I'm doing and as long as the scale keeps moving down (however slowly) I'll get to goal eventually.

Hi @@JamieLogical, I agree with @@erp and several others about taking advantage of the first year (honeymoon or not) to get to your goal. Everyone's goal is their own, with or without advice from their doc/nut, and there's no "right answer". My doc's philosophy is that we're doing this for our health, and everything else is just gravy, so if your health is good and you feel good, that's one thing. But... You also have this tremendous opportunity to push beyond the "I'm tired of this, so where I am is good enough" point. If you settle for "good enough", you may always wonder what your true goal might have brought you. (Kind of like spouses, right?) So I'm really glad to hear that you want to push on!!! Pick a number, re-focus on it, and drive towards it. Once you get there, see how you feel. If you want 5 more, go for it. If you're happy. That's great too. But don't stop short because it's "good enough". I aimed for the top of my "normal" BMI. Once I got there, I realized that I never wanted to get back to "overweight" again, so I lost 5 more. Then I was at 150 and decided that I wanted to stay below that, so I pushed to where I could touch 145. (It was also exactly 120 pounds down, which sounds way better than 115!) So now now I'm there and guess what? I don't have the desire to lose any more. I'm thrilled with where I am and just want to stay between 145 and 150, which leaves me with a 5-10 pound buffer for the "normal" range. And people who told me to stop because I was starting to look too thin 20 pounds ago, now tell me how healthy I look at this weight! You're always so full of wonderful advice, so I hope you'll take this from the heartfelt place from where it is offered. Good luck, I wish you nothing but the best – wherever you decide to go!!!

Hi Jamie I would suggest focusing more on the way you look or the size clothing you want to wear versus the weight on the scale. You know all to well the struggles I've been having with weight GAIN now that I'm training hard for an upcoming event. I have put on 4 pounds the last few weeks and the only thing that's keeping me from jumping off a bridge is my size 8 jeans are getting baggy on me! Still, I will take the the lean muscle thats developing over the skinny fat I was before any day. I stood side by side next to a client last week and we look the same size. We are both 5'7" She weighs 123 and she was shocked when I told her I weighed 154. That's a 31 pound difference and we wear the same size clothes! I'm technically in maintenance now and it's really not any different than what I was doing before. Except I've decided to lay off the butterfingers this week to see if I can do it. Ha ha. That's for another post ????.