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Eating in public



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I have the hardest time eating in public. I feel like the wait staff is hovering over me because I keep laying my utensils down and am eating so slowly. I'm always in fear of a pb. And even if things go smoothly, I often need to burp.

Do others relate, or am I too tight? Your thought?

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Most servers in restaurants think I feel there is something wrong with my dinner.

One time, I hardly touched my entree, and the server was worried and kept asking me if it was ok...I kept assuring her it was...

She took my plate away, and then came back with a whole new plate...said the cook felt bad and was apologetic....so he made me something "Special" not on the menu...also said hey were not going to charge me.

I had to tell them a little white lie and said I was not feeling well, and had an upset, was just getting over a stomach bug...

Then I turned around and ordered ice cream along with a coffee for dessert.

Thats just the way it goes with the band sometimes.

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I just tell the server that I can't eat a lot and I will be taking it home. but sometimes they are overly concerned . eating out is not my favorite thing and I have to order things like Soup and maybe appetizer.

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You are not alone! I hate going out to eat bc every time the waiter or waitress will come and ask me if I don't like my food bc It doesn't look like I ate anything!

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I love eating out but have to order just the right thing -- often an appetizer. I am adept at moving food around my plate, doling out samples ("yum, you've got to try this!") and even taking little pretend bites. If it's dinner out, I will say to the server that I'm saving up for dessert. Every one gets that immediately -- oh, she's watching her weight. When dessert time comes I decline or offer to split something with some one and just have a bite. More likely to have an after dinner drink instead of dessert but that's rare (so high calories).

If I'm with my family it's easy -- I just take food off my plate and out it on my husband or son's plate. Win-win. Sometimes at a dinner party my husband will switch plates with me quickly mid-way through -- no one really notices. I may have hardly touched my food or just be done, while he is ready for seconds.

There are people I feel up-tight with as dining companions -- hardly any one knows about my band. I occasionally have to conceal something under a lettuce leaf, etc. Sometimes if it's lunchtime (I'm tighter earlier in the day), I will tell a little white lie like, "I had my Protein shake so late this morning; I'm not sure how hungry I will be." I don't even really do Protein shakes anymore and in any case never have anything in the morning because I'm just not hungry.

Mostly I get it that people are involved in their own food and not really focused on me me. They are thinking about what to eat next, just like I used to be.

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What about the burping and noises? Or, heaven forbid a pb is coming? I REALLY have to watch first bite syndrome, and "keeping up with the Jones'". I'll find myself three to four bites in, eating at the table's pace, and then remember when my band says whoa!

Thanks for the comments. Hubby and I do the plate switch thing a lot too.

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I found this topic really helpful. I'm exactly one month out and have just started to go out to eat again with friends. I've told no one except my parents. This evening I went to a favorite restaurant with friends and got the Soup salad combo with chicken on the salad. I just ate the chicken on the salad. I find it hard not to drink while eating.

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I found this topic really helpful. I'm exactly one month out and have just started to go out to eat again with friends. I've told no one except my parents. This evening I went to a favorite restaurant with friends and got the Soup salad combo with chicken on the salad. I just ate the chicken on the salad. I find it hard not to drink while eating.

For the drinking while eating I learned a trick from a Chilli's manager that had the bypass done. Order a Water. As soon as the server is gone put salt in it. You will not want to drink it then. ????

This trick not only keeps me from subconsciously drinking but also keeps the servers happy. They are trained to make sure we have all we need, drinks and all. If you don't order a drink at all they most likely will keep asking if you want one, it's what they're supposed to do.

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Don't feel bad..take as much time as you need! My poor hubby used to try to eat very slowly so he wouldn't finish so much quicker than me. When I was newly banded..I always scoped out where the bathroom was just in case.

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If a waitress keps asking if my food is ok, ( like the other night at Red Lobster) I just truthfully tell her that I've had stomach surgery and must eat slowly. We're both happy. Also, ALWAYS carry a plastic grocery sack or 2 in your purse. It will come in handy when you least expect it !!

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The main thing I notice in restaurants is that whenever I am eating with friends they will come by with the plates and without asking plop down the jumbo angus burger with fries in front of me and everytime I have to say, "actually I ordered the side salad with Soup, the angus is for my skinny friend over there" haha oh the joys of not being at goal yet.

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I have a hard time eating out. Most of the time I don't even order because I would rather not know what type of mood my band is in while in a public setting. If I do I usually shuffle the food around..just move it and rarely eat it.....that being said, I find I mostly watch other people eat....which is odd. I can't get it out of my head that a 1/2 cup or less will easily fill me up. And then I compare it to what others are eating. Not judging anyone. But silently doing the math to figure out how many cups of food they eat. Don't judge....I know it's weird, and I wish I could shut it off in my head.. :/

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I have a hard time as well. I tend to overeat a lot and feel like i have to gag. Just knowing ill be eating in public gets my stomach in a knot! I love how much weight I have lost, but still miss eating normally in public

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I have a hard time eating out. Most of the time I don't even order because I would rather not know what type of mood my band is in while in a public setting. If I do I usually shuffle the food around..just move it and rarely eat it.....that being said, I find I mostly watch other people eat....which is odd. I can't get it out of my head that a 1/2 cup or less will easily fill me up. And then I compare it to what others are eating. Not judging anyone. But silently doing the math to figure out how many cups of food they eat. Don't judge....I know it's weird, and I wish I could shut it off in my head.. :/

I do this too. I'm super aware how much others are eating because I am so aware of how much I eat.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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