How many if you didn't tell your friends or other mums at school? The only person I've told is my mum. I floated the idea with a skinny friend and she got really funny and negative... Told me I would die. I've not spoke to her since or told anyone else.... :-( I'm 229 lbs and 5'3 - surgery 27th feb :-)

Ben Franklin said, "To whom thy secret thou dost tell, to him thy freedom thou dost sell."

I say, " You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know."

I'm always amazed when I hear someone say they feel guilty about not telling the world their business.

And then they make it an issue of "conscience."

Just gobsmacks me.

It's funny, pre surgery I told very few people. My best friend was against it and the week before surgery he called me all excited because he had done more intense research and now is very supportive. Post surgery I only tell if I'm asked (I don't like to lie) and all of the responses have been positive.

I say do what feels comfortable with. The bottom line is that you did this for YOU not for anyone else. And It's none of their business. If you don't need them for support they don't need to know.

I agree. If people ask me post-op, then I will tell them. I don't feel comfortable telling them before. I know some people will have negative comments but I don't want to deal with that prior to my surgery. I want to be calm, relax and sure about this decision without people's intrusive comments. This is my battle, not anyone else's.

I agree with the others. Just do what you feel comfortable doing. At first I just told my husband (obviously) and immediate family and my best friend and two co-workers. One co-worker I told because she was not only my secretary who set up appointments in my schedule, but also a friend. The other co-worker I told because his wife is a friend and she'd coincidentally just had the surgery with the same surgeon I was planning to use! I've told a few others that I feel comfortable with since then. I find that many people view surgery as a "cure all" when, in fact, it's just another tool. It's not going to make it okay for me to stop working out and eat whatever I feel like! My husbands family did tell a few other family members, so if they've asked questions, I'm careful to point this fact out. They're all very respectful. The fact is, my surgery has gone so well, that my husband decided to have it too and he was sleeved at the end of June 2014!

I am 5.5 months post op. Down 65 pounds feel great!!!!!!!

I never thought I would ever see 5 mos post op those first couple of weeks are mental torcher lol

But you adapt and survive! I went into surgery with only telling a few people. And funny one of my closest friend did not make the list.

I decided that this is for me! And I refuse to hear comments like.. Oh well if I had surgery I would loose that much weight too!! So I decided to be picky about who knows.

I think at this point it's always the elephant in the room because even the people who knew are now sick of seeing me loose weight lol

But I am not!!!! And I am happy !!

So do it for yourself!!!! Enjoy!!!

I've told my husband and bestie, I don't plan to tell anyone else, even my kids. I'm telling work that I am getting a hernia repair - perfectly true, just not the whole truth. I've lost and gained so many times in the past it won't be a screaming shock when I lose again. I'll just have the happy difference of not gaining again!

I don't care whether people know or not. I don't open a conversation with it, but I don't have a problem talking about it (but if they are ballsy enough to ask, I'm giving them a complete education, whether they want it or not lol). A couple of coworkers know, and one of them made such an excellent point; the sleeve was only 1 hour of your journey - a tool - the rest of the work YOU are doing, and it's not easy...it requires discipline and lifestyle changes forever...the sleeve isn't doing that, YOU are I think there is far more to say about that, than there is to say about the little frankenstomach you have.

Only my husband, grown kids and best friend. This is very personal to me and not up for public discussion. Easier for me, no explanations, no negativity, no judgements, no advice.

I have only told 4 people. My mom, my husband my brother and best friend. they've all been very supportive. I'm back at work and have lost almost 50 lbs, I feel great and I always get compliments at work. My surgery did happen after an ankle surgery I had so I hadn't seen anyone from work in 8 weeks they think it's all related to my ankle I just say I'm eating healthier cause I can't work out and watching my weight. High protein low carb

Thanks everyone... This time next week I'll be at the hospital. I paid my money yesterday so no going back now! :-) I'm definatley going to keep it to myself. :-)

I was reluctant to tell anyone my decision at first. Only my husband. Then later my sisters. (My parents are passed.) But with all the initial doctor appointments I was having (missing work) some of my co-workers became worried about me. Turned out they were afraid I was secretly very ill. So I told them the truth and said I don't care who you tell... Just keep it off the internet! They were much relieved and did as I requested. So no FB, etc about it. But my family and close friends know. Some were initially worried and skeptical but I am now 5 months out and 80 lbs down so they are very happy for me. If you want to keep it quiet, do so! If you want to shout from the rooftops, do it. It is all up to you. This whole journey is about empowering yourself.

Edited February 21, 201511 yr by JCP

I didn't tell anyone but my husband and kids. Most people have a negative opinion and i didn't want anyone to try and talk me out of it.

Yep only immediate family husband and kids. Told sister made her swear on a bible she would never tell anyone not even parents or her spouse. She wasn't negative nor positive, better if no one knows

I had surgery a few days ago. I've been pretty open about it, as I am with most things in my life. I hate to be the subject of gossip, especially at work, but do feel better if it is a least somewhat factual. I think everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I only have to listen to those opinions of those that really care about me, others get to express what they want, but I don't have to take it in. Gotta do what is right for me and my health.... I think most people who have expressed an opinion to me are doing it because they care, ok some are jerks, but most just seem worried for me. I thank them for their thoughts and concerns and then go about my business. No one has so far said anything mean or cruel. That day may come, but those people don't matter to me.

I have only told a handful of people. My kids don't know because they tend to tell my ex-husband and his new wife everything. And frankly, it's none of their business. I had gotten a comment from his wife that my daughter said I had lost a lot of weight (at the time only 37 lbs) and she said I hope you didn't do the gastric bypass thing because that is the cowards way out, cheating ya know? I also had a hernia repair and that is the surgery that everyone thinks I had. It was a private decision. And I don't need or care to hear everyones opinion about it. I am healthy now and happy and my current husband supports me 110% Best decision ever.