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Two years ago my husband and my preschooler signed my birthday card IN FRONT OF ME. Yeah, once we left the restaurant (his favorite, not mine) and our son was in bed he got one hell of a talking to. Last year's birthday went MUCH better.

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I've tried offering up mine for free too and so far no takers????

Guess I'll keep him. After almost 27 years of marriage it's just far too much to even think about having to train yet another one

Edited by fat_free

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I am ready to offer mine up. He is clueless and self-centered, but not in the normal way. I don't even know how to explain it, but I am so angry with him right now, I can't speak, I have nothing nice to say to him.

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Jenbaby75:

I think many men have a mild to severe form of Aspergers Syndrome. I am not kidding. Read the symptoms online. They can be great and intelligent people but have problems forming and keeping emotional relationships. They can't "read" people.

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I had to look up the symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome to see if I have them.???????????? Nope, not me.

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I would suggest reading "The Five Love Languages", figure out your language, then TELL your husband how to speak it, and make him practice.

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Well now you know what to wish for when you blow out the candles (if you get a cake) ;)

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I heard Wal-Mart accepts men as returns after Christmas!! ;-)

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Years ago, my husband told me that it's a mistake (generally) to think that men are complicated.

He also suggested that when I want him to do X that I simply tell him to do X--but not expect him to make observations and interpret those observations to arrive at the conclusion that I want him to do X.

He said that men are just not that smart.

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Jeez where di you gals find these guys??I would never forget an anniversary, birthdate, heck if i dont tell my wife i love her at least 10 times a day i feel bad. I cannot imagine not being attentive and supporting. were going on our soon to be 17th anniversary in april, and ill never stop being good. im sorry for you gals.

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Happy belated birthday!

We're going on 35+ years together, and many guys (not all! I have my eye on you, @Stevehud) have to be told exactly what to do. I've had some major meltdowns in our marriage, but if I gave constructive criticism with detailed notes on What Exactly Is Expected, things got done. Here's my notes:

Don't hint or expect something to get done. They're not mind readers. Assign chores, remind them of important dates until they've got it down, and encourage helpfulness. I've found that my husband likes doing certain things and takes pride in them, so I praise him to the skies every once in a while.

Be specific, but nice: "Could you put the dishes away" is clearer than "Tidy up the kitchen." "Take out the garbage, please" is better than "Is the can beginning to smell?"

Guilting doesn't work well on the men in my life. It must be a woman thing. (*sigh*)

Don't let them get away with whining or getting angry or growling. As someone much wiser than me said in another topic, if you accept a behavior, people won't change. And so, you have to be willing to have some major fights now and then. A doormat is for wiping your feet on. A pissed-off woman is a force to be reckoned with.

If your guy says or does something that gets you mad, say so, but in a way that is not hostile, but helpful. "You know, honey, I'd appreciate it if you didn't monitor my food. I know you mean well, but you're getting on my last nerve."

Anyway, those are my two cents. Sometimes a refurbished husband can turn out to be a gem, so don't give up hope!

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