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First let me say that I absolutely agree with your decision to back out at the last minute. If you are not mentally ready then you should not do this.

I will respectfully disagree with your comment about having zero health issues related to being overweight and here is what I mean by that. Being obese in itself, is a health issue. Statistically, obese people don't live as long and the years they do have often have more medical problems.

Then, there is a always the psychological side of "health" and how it relates to obesity.

I only mention all of this because I do not get the feeling that you are completely off of the WLS surgery journey and that you will be considering this as you move forward. Just adding another perspective to the idea of "health issues."

But again, I completely agree with you not doing the surgery at the moment and I really wish you the best of luck. Personally, I am still debating on what to do, and I keep going back and forth.

I think I just rushed the whole process and didnt really 100% think it through.. Like I said in another posting to be mentally on board means 100%, not 50% or even 90%...It has to be the full 100% and for me I need the following:

1) I need to know I absolutely can not do this on my own

2)I need to know that surgery is the ONLY option..Period..

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I think I just rushed the whole process and didnt really 100% think it through.. Like I said in another posting to be mentally on board means 100%, not 50% or even 90%...It has to be the full 100% and for me I need the following:

1) I need to know I absolutely can not do this on my own

2)I need to know that surgery is the ONLY option..Period..

That is pretty much what I told my surgeon the other day and he 100% agreed. He said there was no big rush (based on my age and current health). He said "Get your ass out there and see what you can do on your own and if you figure out that you need another tool, I am here to help."

I was hoping to hear that from him because that told me he wasn't just in it to make $$$ off another surgery. But, he knows the statistics and so do I.

GIve yourself a set time period to lose the weight AND keep it off, and go from there. I am going to use my insurance mandated 3 months of physican supervised weight loss to see if I can maintain a lifestyle that I would need to maintain without WLS.

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That is pretty much what I told my surgeon the other day and he 100% agreed. He said there was no big rush (based on my age and current health). He said "Get your ass out there and see what you can do on your own and if you figure out that you need another tool, I am here to help."

I was hoping to hear that from him because that told me he wasn't just in it to make $$$ off another surgery. But, he knows the statistics and so do I.

GIve yourself a set time period to lose the weight AND keep it off, and go from there. I am going to use my insurance mandated 3 months of physican supervised weight loss to see if I can maintain a lifestyle that I would need to maintain without WLS.

I can tell you for me it is about 30% physical and 70% mental when I eat. I eat when Im not even hungry just to fill a void..Im in behavioral counseling to determine what that void is how to stop it..I can tell you one thing, from Clear liquids all day Sunday to virtually no food on Monday till Monday around 5:30 pm after I backed out and got home, my body feels better. I was able to move my shoulder in therapy today a lot better and my feet dont hurt as much, a ton of the inflammation is gone just from that one day cleanse. I started eating clean again today and am determined to do something for myself for once. Once i get this mental thing figured out, if Im still a candidate for surgery then I shall revisit. Right now Im going to use the threat of surgery as my motivating factor to get down in weight to a reasonable weight and prolong my life and quality of life..

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I totally support your decision. This is a major surgery, and beyond that, it's a major psychological undertaking as well.

I went for a consult on a Lap-Band 2.5 years ago and backed out. At the time, I wanted to have one more child, and the surgeon said he didn't recommend getting a Lap-Band before I was done having kids. But in addition to that, I don't think my head was in the game. In retrospect, I think if I had gotten the surgery back then, I'd have failed post-op.

Now, I'm at the point where I feel mentally ready, plus I've gotten some new issues. My knees hurt, my cholesterol is high. It's time for me. You'll know if and when it's time for you, too.

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Good luck on your journey!!!!

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This is probably the most compassionate and understanding group of people I have ever seen on any internet forum..Perhaps its all the abuse we have taken most of our lives for being overweight..Thank you everyone for your words and advice, it means a lot to me, it really does. Im going back to see my surgeon next Thursday , firstly to apologize for wasting his time, and secondly to discuss the Lap bands as a less permanent option for me. The whole permanent part of the surgery is too much for me. At least with the lap band if my life is miserable and I regret it, i can undo it.. I think with my weight loss goals Im more of a lap band candidate anyway..

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@@JerseyJules Give yourself credit for realizing your fears and not completely giving up. I would still recommend counseling because I think dealing with the mental issues you have with food would also be helpful for you in maintaining a successful weight loss no matter how you achieve it. Keep the faith!

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Well, Im back.....I tried it on my own for the past 2 years and good news is I have not put on any additional weight, but I also have not lost any weight. Im going in on Thursday for my consult to do the Lap Band. I feel it is a better tool for my particular situation. I'm very active, but I only slightly overeat to maintain my current level of fat, without allowing my body to lose it. I feel the band would be a very effective tool for me physically as well as mentally. Ill kep you guys posted!!!

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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