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I'm done telling folks. They don't get it



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I've chosen to tell my husband and my best friend. That's it. For work and everyone else, I am telling them I am getting a hernia repair - 100% true. The rest of it just isn't any one else's business.

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Wow, wow and wow. What is with the hostility on this tread? We are all friends and supporters of each other. No need for that.

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Wow....

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I told my family first. My mom was very supportive and my kids just said mom you don't need that. I told a few friends and co workers once I started taking the required classes. I was talking to a coworker and she said don't tell to many people. She said because then you will find people watching you and what you eat and so on. I thought well people are going to judge either way. That's just life! Life would be much more pleasant if we support and accept each other but that's not the real world. I have just decided to do the best I can and focus on my goals.

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I have my date 10 Feb, started the shakes today - game on

The biggest emotional drain for me right now is my family (mum, partner, mother in law, aunts) all trying to talk me out of it, I cry every time I try stick up for what I'm doing and explain this is a long term aid to help me, not a brain snap. They are being even less sympathetic than my endo who just tells me I need to eat less...

I like what Darla15 wrote about turning the questions back on them, I'll give that a crack

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@@Jana77 - Even easier just stop talking about it. There really is no need to continue to have confrontation when both sides are firmly decided. Simple say, "Thank you for your concern, but I no longer wish to have this discussion." Then stop. Stop before feelings are hurt and stop before you feel frustrated. if you need to walk away. Not every battle will be won.

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Yeah I know... and I am doing this for me and my health alone. Its just strange that I had an elective C-section in 2013 (Major Surgery) and it didn't evoke this type of push back, no one blinked an eye.

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Blocking is a great feature. :D I've never blocked anyone because I am too darn nosy but it's a great feature to have at our disposal.

You crack me up Darling!

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Only my hubby and two close friends and my PCP and his nurse know. No other relatives or other close friends or acquaintances or clients know.

I didn't have this surgery to help anyone but myself. WLS is not an ideology, a cause or a crusade of mine. It's a private medical matter. I didn't require any advice or approvals or commiseration from anyone. This was solely my decision.

Consequently, I don't have to put up with s**t from anyone.

:)

Edited by VSGAnn2014

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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