I'm not really that fearful of the surgery itself.

I'm worried about:

The surgery not "working"--I don't feel full, eat through my pouch, don't lose enough weight

The drinking only apart from food. I can't imagine eating without a sip of Water.

Excited for:

Being able to walk into a normal store and buy clothes off the rack

Being able to walk without huffing and puffing

Worried About:

Eating smaller portions

Not drinking while I am eating

Not waking up after surgery

Going through all this and not having it work

Extra skin after I lose the weight

Excited About:

Clothes!!!!! I use to be so cute when I was younger and I loved buying clothes. Now I hate buying clothes as I never feel cute in them.

Feeling sexy and good about myself

Not always feeling like the fatest person in a room

Playing soccer again (I played for 13 years and can't wait to find a woman's team to play on)

Worried about:

Getting through all the pre op hoops and requirements only to be denied at the very end

My mom not being around long enough to see that I've fulfilled my promise to her to get healthy

Being the one person that the surgery doesn't work for, even though I follow all the rules

Excited about:

Experiencing life through the eyes of a slim happy veneer.

Trying new things, taking chances, pushing myself far beyond my own limits

Never again associating myself with words like morbidly obese, fat, overweight, pudgy, stocky, the list goes on.

I don't want to repeat myself, but I can't help it. I've been talking about this exact stuff on other threads and it's all still very much on my mind.

Fearful About: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/326057-january-rny-surgery/

1) Recovery time. The magic google machine says I should expect to go back to work in 2-3 weeks. My surgeon's office says 6-8 weeks. That's a big difference. I am probably starting a new job (at my same company) on January 1 and I hate to leave them for 2 months immediately after accepting the position, but I really want to focus on new habits and getting healthy and I only have one shot to get it right the first time, so I'm worried. You can tell when I'm worried because my sentences run on and on and on.

2) What if I fail? Since I've failed at every other attempt to lose weight over the past 30+ years, why should this be any different? My need to be fat seems to be very persistent across time and space and circumstance. What if I can't beat it?

3) Who do I tell? I tend to be an open book - sometimes a bit too open - so it would be consistent with my personality to tell everyone everywhere what I'm doing. But I feel very fragile about this topic and am trying to be a bit more reserved in general so maybe I should just keep this to myself until I can't anymore.

4) I blame my weight for a lot of things, from petty disappointments to major issues, but what if my live is not magically better when I'm smaller and I have to deal with my actual limitations and not just knee-jerk blame my size? That'll be a good thing in the end, but could make for some rough adjustments.

Excited About: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/326541-things-ill-be-able-to-do/

1) My health is going to improve! I have no critical issues, but lots of things that could go bad quickly, and this should address all of them.

2) I'm going to be able to travel and be active and move my body the way I want to. I can't wait to have a body that obeys my wishes.

I've started a list of things I can't do today, and look forward to doing once my excess weight is reduced or gone. I don't recall a day when I was suddenly unable to do these things, but I know I can't do them now and am excited to see them return. In other words, these are some of the small victories and milestones I look forward to achieving. What are yours?

In no particular order...

1. buy clothes in a normal store
2. wear necklaces without extensions
3. wear knee-high boots
4. board an airplane without worrying who'll be next to me and whether I need a seatbelt extension
5. cross my legs in a meeting
6. ride a horse
7. fit into a wetsuit
8. hike and schlep around mountains and islands and monuments in general
9. ride a roller coaster
10. sit comfortably in a theater
11. take the stairs at work
12. take a walk around the block without being winded
13. tie my shoes straight
14. use a regular bathroom stall comfortably
15. climb a ladder

Edited December 12, 201411 yr by anaxila

It's amazing how much alignment there is between all of our hopes and all of our fears. I can't think of anything anyone has said so far that didn't deeply resonate with me too. So grateful for this group.

Worried about:

having the surgery and going under

the surgery not helping with my diabetes and the pain in my knees, ankles, and feet

my husband and family saying "I told you not to do it but you didn't listen"

worrying about losing too much b/c I've heard "You don't weigh enough"

Excited about

The idea of getting rid of diabetes

looking good in jeans, belts, and other clothes

crossing my legs

exercising, traveling, and just being able to play my favorite sport better

Edited December 13, 201411 yr by blackonynx

I have my sleeve in the 30 if this month. I'm nervous because it's in TJ with Dr Vazquez and I can't find any reviews about him

Wow! Great lists of things to look forward to especially. I'm ready to do this and get started.

As simple as it sounds, I am looking forward to crossing my legs in a meeting as well

Taking a seat in a booth and feeling comfortable.

Buying cloths in a regular store.

But most of all being intimate with my husband like we used to years ago.... This weight has really effected our personal relationship and with us both going through this process together I am looking forward to that part of it!

I am looking forward to dating again. Right now I won't even think about it as I just can't bare the thought of being intimate at this point in my life.

Cheers to all of us!!!!!!!! So excited.

I am worried about:

Heart attack during surgery or after

Not breathing during surgery

Not waking up

Not being able to have the surgery due to some issue or other

I am excited about:

Living a healthy life

Loving my body better

Crossing my legs

CLOTHES that fit and do not drape over my body

Clothes from a regular store

Always buying shoes or nightgowns when I am out with my friends because I know it is all I can fit into without being in the big lady store

Not having my joints ache

Not struggling to breathe when exercising

Not having my legs rub together when I walk

Possibly not having to take blood pressure medicine

DITCHING the CPAP forever

NO more snoring

NO more GERD

Not being the FAT girl

MOST OF ALL...seeing my reflection in the mirror and not being disgusted!

@@MBM1Forever

I so understand where you are coming from... but I do hope that it won't take long for you to feel better about yourself. I can't wait, nervousness and all.

Worried

Not waking up after surgery

Complications after surgery

Excited for:

Weight loss

Being more active with my 5 year old

New Smaller clothes

Smaller BOOBS

Not having to worry about fitting on the plane

Worried About

1. Not waking up from surgery.

2. Failing, yet again.

Excited About

1. Blood Pressure under control.

3. Less back pain.

4. No more shopping in the plus size section.

5. Playing with my kids.

6. Being smaller then my husband, once again.

7. No more Gerd.

8. Sleeping better.

9. Getting off of medication.

10. Loving myself, being happy, and confident again.

I don't think I've ever been smaller than my husband. That will be a new experience! I was pretty chubby when we got married... About 20 pound over my goal weight. And that was over 20 years ago!

Nice goals, all!

I would echo many of the same things others have listed as "Worried About". Same goes for "Excited About" with one addition. Not being invisible. I've always found it funny that the biggest person in the room is the one no one seems to see.