Do you?

Edited December 18, 201411 yr by islandsneezer

I am 8 months post op and have only told 2 people about my surgery (my husband and my child). I decided that I didn't want to tell anyone else, including any other immediate family. I am currently down 121 pounds, and when people comment on my weight loss, I am honest with them. I tell them that I am eating less and moving more and that I am making smarter, healthier choices with my food. None of which is a lie - I simply leave out the part about my surgery. The surgery is simply a tool in your journey and you are still the one doing the hard work. Good luck on your journey - and remember, you don't have to tell anyone that you don't want to tell.

Let me start by saying, you don't owe an explanation to anyone. No one at all. At first, I didn't tell anyone but my immediate family and a few close friends. 1) because I consider myself to be a very private person and 2) I didn't want to hear all of the negativity and everything that comes with it. Over the last few months, I have told more people depending on who they are. If someone comes right out and asks, I will tell them. I think a lot of people assume even if they don't ask. Losing 50, 60 or 70 pounds in a matter of a few months is a big indicator for a lot of people. Some just respect your choice enough not to ask. Not everyone though. When I do tell people my journey, I also tell them I made the decision to "save my life". That is pretty much my standard response. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I also am 38 and been overweight for a while. I didn't start telling most people until after I had the surgery, only My Mom and closest friends knew, I had incidents where one or 2 people I told tried to talk me out of it, and decided I would keep it to myself until it was over. I also am not crazy about the attention I get when Im losing weight some people are genuine but then there are those that never talked to me before who will start gushing over the fact I've lot weight and it makes me feel that is the only reason they like me.

One thing for sure about this whole process, your true friends and true enemies will be revealed.

As far as what to say because of your business, I would just tell people "yes I've lost weight, I decided to be healthier." If they say "How you doing it, give them the diet your on." lots of people who don't have WLS try high Protein and low carb and have success.

I've told very few people because it's no one's business but mine. When people ask how I've lost weight, I tell them I am eating smaller healthier portions under the guidance of my doctor and I am moving my body a lot more than I was before.

What you choose to tell people is completely up to you. You don't owe ANYONE any information on your medical history or weight loss efforts. If you feel someone is crossing a line with you, you have every right to politely say so. Your body, your choice.

I totally support those who want to tell the world about their surgery as well as those who don't. This is a HUGE topic for debate on these boards and I truly hope those who think we should all be an open book don't come into this thread with the usual name calling and judgmental BS that typically happens.

If you feel that private, I suggest not telling anyone. However, when you lose weight, it will be inevitable that people will comment. For some reason, it is just ingrained in our society. I work in a hospital and people I don't really know but who see me in the halls will stop and comment about my weight loss. Men, doctors and fellows, will ask me how much weight I've lost. Sometimes it's embarrassing to admit I was 130 pounds overweight. But, I forgive everyone. It's just human curiosity. Don't let this scare you or sway you. But definitely be prepared. It is a constant subject if you don't let it be known you don't prefer to talk about it. It also might depend on how fast or slow you lose. Slow is not as noticeable.

I told close friends and family before surgery. Everyone was very supportive. Once I Started losing weight I got comments multiple times everyday (I see at least 8-10 clients everyday). If I'm asked how I'm losing weight, I tell them about my surgery. I've had hundreds of positive comments and exactly 2 negative ones. (One was from a friend who's terrified of doctors and surgery in general, and the other was being a smartass and pulled out the old "easy way out" line). But I have no regrets about being open. I just wouldn't feel comfortable letting everyone think it was just diet and exercise. And hopefully educating people about this surgery and everything involved with being successful will help reduce some of the stigma attached with WLS. And I know at least 2 people that have gone ahead with WLS after hearing about mine.

But you have to go what you feel comfortable with. I've learned from previous threads on this subject that my friends, family and acquaintances are more accepting and less judgmental than a lot of others I've read about. And like Leepers said, if you choose not to tell about your surgery, be prepared with a story because once you start losing, people will start asking questions.

Edited December 1, 201411 yr by Kindle

I'm that person who doesn't kind talking about it bum not telling everybody but once I do have the surgery I wouldn't be opposed to telling some people if they ask.

HOWEVER, you have to do what's comfortable for you. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If it's not something you don't care to tell people then when they ask simply accept the compliment and then tell the truth "I've changed my eating habits" or you can simply tell them "it's personal". OR, do like me, when I don't want to talk about something I change the subject lol!

Good luck!

_{My husband is the only person that knows about my surgery. I also hate attention and when people ask how much I have lost I simply say "that is not a question I will answer". No one has asked if I have had surgery probably because I have lost and regained weight so many times. The surgery has taken be lower than any other attempt of course and when someone says something about losing so much weight I say "you know I am always working on it...reducing sugars and carbs". Good luck to you!}

_.

I tell everyone! I am not ashamed of my band. It has helped me lose weight, that I would not have been able to do on my own. "I'm with the band" is what I say. LOL.

Thanks for the replies... You've given me some good ideas for how to handle it when it happens.

I have told a few family members and friends. But there are a few that i dont really want them knowing cause i don't want their input. I asked my parents who also had rny a few years ago what they said and my dad got great joy giving random reason why he lost 180 lb.....

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Edited December 18, 201411 yr by islandsneezer

Too many judgmental people at my job. So it'll be a secret. I'm also afraid that if word gets out I may be passed over for any fire details thinking that the band may hinder my performance.