My 16 year old daughter and I have a wonderful relationship. We are very much alike and make each other laugh every day. The worst part about being her mom is that she will be going away to college in 2 years and I will have an empty nest.

Like a lot of posters to this site - I have become obsessed with this journey. I have yet to have surgery, but finally made the decision to do so after lurking here for over 1 1/2 years.

She is understandably worried about me having the gastric sleeve surgery, but she wants me to be healthy so she is supportive (as much as she can be). She even went with me to meet the surgeon - but now she says she wants no part of it. She doesn't want me to come home from the hospital, she wants me to recuperate at my mom's. She has gotten to the point that if I mention anything about pre-surgical weight loss, possible plastic surgery in the future for saggy skin (I know, I know - I shouldn't have said anything to her about this - but we were watching "Botched," and it just came out).

I feel like I should lean more on the people on this site who can understand my obsession and fears - so that's what I'm going to try to do. I don't want to get upset every time I open my mouth.

My sons are a little older, but were at home. I know they did not want anything to do with this and I really have shared very little info with them. I tried to make it as low impact as possible. What is funny to me is that every once in awhile I show them a "before" picture and they don't recognize me. I think that just goes to show that kids of that age range are pretty centered on themselves ha!

Edit: I re-read my initial post, and on the last line I meant to say:

"I don't want her to get upset every time I open my mouth."

Thanks again to everyone who replied and for the great feedback, stories and advice

I'm thinking our children's opinion about the surgery will differ from child to child. I'm a single mom of a 13-year old young man and he couldn't wait for me to get my Lapband. As young as he Is he understands I'm doing this for my life and he wants his mom around as long as possible. He supports my every effort. He even changed his eating habit to be more in line with mine (temporarily -- with the promise that his food arsenal will return after I've healed) basically he's not asking for me to cook fried chicken, Mac and cheese, apple pies, you get the pic. He's choosing healthier foods (though I can't be sure how much longer this is going to last).

I think maybe the more our spawns understand its life or death they'll eventually come aboard.

It's hard not to rely too much on my daughters too. I am constantly reminding myself that they still need to be my kids, not my pals, and they need a mom. This mom needs to rely on my own friends for adult support. That said, they are happy I am getting healthy. They're also a little older (20 and 19).

Unsolicited advice. ..my mother was not allowed friends by a controlling and abusive husband (my dad) and so her daughters became her confidants and friends. WRONG. Don't do it if you can avoid it. I loved my Mother beyond belief but when I look back I was asked to "carry" burdens unfair for my age.

I have three young adult/teen daughters, and my youngest was 16 at the time of my surgery. She was really mad at me for pursuing this, and felt I was fine the way I was. She didn't think the benefit was worth the risk. She just could't reconcile how I thought this was fine for me, but I was so cautious with her (like not letting her stay out late, drive to the next city, etc). The other two were older, and understood what it means to be obese and how difficult that made my life, so they were better able to accept it.

Long story short, she supported me through it in her way, which was tough love, lol. She became the food police, because she said there was no way she was going to let me go through all that and still fail. I honesty didn't need food police, but it didn't bother me. And she never let up for one minute, lol. After the first 9-12 months, she said she decided it was a good decision for me. She could see the benefit not only for me, but for her, too.

I had plastics last week, (MUCH more difficult to recover from) and she's been at my side every step of the way. I make an effort to not burden her with any of it, but she wants to be there for me. Just as I want to (and do) take care of my mother and grandmother, I allow her to do the same for me. My advice is to get at what's bothering your daughter about this, address, and then keep the conversation about it to a minimum. Let her decide what part she wants in your journey.