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Pre-op Blues ~The Waiting Game~
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Hello fellow pre-opers and post-op supporters!
I am going through True Results and my expected surgery date is October 3rd or 10th depending on how fast Cigna decides to send back my approval after my last visit (which happens to be September 19th). I am beyond ready to take on this next part of my fitness journey.
I have been a yo-yo dieter since I was 14 years old, always able to lose the weight but putting it all back on and then some. Before I became a mother about 2 years ago, I stopped caring about my health and just lived life not really expecting to live longer than 45. Boy do children change your outlook on life!!! I want to see my great-grandchildren and leave an awesome legacy for them. I am fortunate my child is still young enough not to remember the me at this weight. I want to end the obesity cycle. I am and have been taking cooking classes and have never eaten so healthy in my life, lol. Unfortunately, you can still eat too much of the good stuff too.
After a few months of dealing with my emotional attachment with food through counseling, meditation, and self-hypnosis, I am still having issues with portion control. After struggling with what seems like a never ending hunger, I’ve decided to go with gastric banding. I looked into it back in 2009, but I was not ready to take responsibility for my actions. I know this is not a magic pill. The band won’t put down my fork, stop me from eating cake, make me workout, or continue to make great decisions for my journey… that will all be me! I see the band for exactly what it is, a tool to help me achieve my goal; make it a little easier to feel fuller sooner and longer.
All that being said, “WHY IS TIME GOING SOOOOO FREAKING SLOW?!?!?!” I swear the calendar went back a day or two more than once! I mean what the freak. I know, I know, God’s timing is perfect but seriously! The green eyed monster wants me to tell everyone getting a band before me to kick rocks! LOL!!! HA HA HAA HA AH HA! <= *crazy laugh*
Ok, I’m done.