unkind drs

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

P.S. Just saw you are moving on and have some great plans for your life. Congratulations again. I think you're going to be very successful.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I'd like to be very clear about some things that have been posted here.

Yes, every one of us has "caused" our overweight. By that I mean at times in our lives we have eaten the wrong foods and too much of them and not exercised nearly enough.

On the other hand, many of us were also dealt a really crappy hand of genetics, hormonal imbalances, biochemistry, upbringing, and life experiences that contributed to our obesity.

And for some of us "fixing" our obesity is the only thing we have not accomplished in lives otherwise full of accomplishments and pride.

But there's a very bright line between the tough love that a long-time family doctor may dish out to a patient they know well and the crude and brutal treatment described in some of the posts above.

A doctor who does not treat the person in front of them with a desire to help needs to reconsider seriously their vocation.

Edited July 22, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[Momof2inIowa 195]

When I was 8 months pregnant with my son, my OB told me that if I don't lose the weight right after he was born I wouldn't be alive to see him graduate...WHO COULD TELL A PREGNANT WOMAN THAT? Seriously.

My Knee surgeon told me that I need to look into a drastic change in order to save my knee from needing a replacement, he recommended that I look into weight loss surgery. it broke my heart to hear that but he was telling me the truth.

The way your doctor approached it was VERY innapropriate. I don't understand why some of these doctors don't have better bedside manners. In my head I always told myself...I can lose the weight but you can't fix your personality we are all beautiful!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Went to see a dr about my knees and his first questions was... omg, you must eat ALOT, how much so you eat?!. I almost broke down into tears right there but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. Anyone have any problems like this?

I had arthroscopic knee surgery in 2007. One visit post op (2 weeks) the surgeon told me I was fine, no need to come back. I was stunned and said "but I am still having so many problems with it". He smirked and said "well maybe you should lose some weight or retire". By the time I got home I was raging with my anger. I immediately made an appointment to return to his office and see him and he looked surprised to see me. LOL. I told him I was highly offended at what he said to me that day and came back just to tell him that. I told him I damaged my knee when I fell on it due to a malfunctioning elevator, not my weight or my job. He sputtered a semi apology about doctors not having a bedside manner. Needless to say when I had to have a total knee replacement 3 years later HE was not the surgeon I chose. Jackass! When I was 30, I would have just cried. Old age has great benefits, I am not intimidated anymore.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

i just want to chime in that i think this is a bigger issue than just mean doctors.

many obese people are very sensitive in general to other people's opinions, comments, criticism. we internalize these things, feel bad/angry/upset/bothered about them and then eat over them. many of us have spent years eating our feelings. but the deal is, you cant just stop feeling the urge to do this without figuring out how to stop being such a sponge for other people's crap.

we all need to have better emotional boundaries so we do not continue the pattern of taking in and personalizing other people's stuff.

like a dog, kick some grass over that shit and move on. that doctor's issues arent yours, dont take them in and make them yours... let it go and move on! dont give yourself reasons to emotionally eat.

Edited July 22, 2014 by moonlitestarbrite

[jjinWA 511]

While hearing things like this is hard, for all of us here it is/was the truth. I had a doctor years ago that his main solution to many of my complaints was losing weight. While it was hard to hear it, I knew it was the truth.

I know weight can be an issue, and something we all know here on this site. There are many illnesses that come about due to weight. BUT I hate that obesity is the blame for everything! If that were true, why would skinny people drop dead from heart attacks. Why would perfectly healthy looking people get cancer? You never hear that they died because they did not monitor their health better. Someone get sick and also be fat. weelllll... We all know why they got sick! I call that bullsh..t. I know many people who have high blood pressure, high cholesterol etc. and they are not fat. Now how can that be????

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

I know weight can be an issue, and something we all know here on this site. There are many illnesses that come about due to weight. BUT I hate that obesity is the blame for everything! If that were true, why would skinny people drop dead from heart attacks. Why would perfectly healthy looking people get cancer? You never hear that they died because they did not monitor their health better. Someone get sick and also be fat. weelllll... We all know why they got sick! I call that bullsh..t. I know many people who have high blood pressure, high cholesterol etc. and they are not fat. Now how can that be????

its not nearly as common as it is with overweight people though. dont try to fool yourself... there is no such thing as healthy and fat long term.

[Mary Cade 23]

I get so tired of my regular doc on every visit say to me push away from the table, stay out of the refrigerator, not all fat people are fat because they over eat certain meds will put weight on you, thyroid problems, the inability to excersised I will be changing mt dr

[jjinWA 511]

its not nearly as common as it is with overweight people though. dont try to fool yourself... there is no such thing as healthy and fat long term.

Nothing is fooling me. I know what being fat does. But if obesity was the only cause for us having ailments, then why do many "healthy and thin" people have the same ailments. Whatever would cause them to have the same issues if it is only obesity that is causing us to be sick. My daughter is obese and has no co-morbities. Her knee is a true ailment. Course the trainer having her press 300 #s as part of her exercise routine might have been more the issue then her weight. Just saying! My brother has terrible knee issues. He is 6' and 190#. Sad that he is so "obese" it blew out his knees! Oh yes, he has high blood pressure too! How can that be?

I just get tired of the dr always saying weight is the go to answer for every ailment that an obese person has.... It is just a standard form of discrimination against fat people.

[amanda891 6]

Exactly. If you aren't there to help people, find another job. My first semester of college my teacher hurt herself. In a room full of premeds, only me and one other person even noticed she was hurt or knew what to do. Or who to get. Everyone else had no idea where she went. Some people are not meant to be drs. From the start. I found out he lost his licence back in 79 for unprofessional behavior. He was suspended. Then he practiced without it while it was suspended and he got in trouble. He is originally from Iran. I am a muslim woman and when I was leaving after the appt he was patting my back or trying to give me an awkward hug. He knows he is not suppose to touch me but he insists on touching me or patting me or something. He's just rude all over.

[amanda891 6]

And he was comparing me to his med tech. 130 lbs brown skin, 1/2 her clothes on. He said I should look like her...

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

find another doctor.

[hiddnstar 167]

When I've run into someone so insensitive, I've found it helpful to remember that what they say to me is just an indication of the kind of things they hear in their own head about themselves all the time -- some call it the "inner critic".

Can you imagine living with that 24/7?

Be glad you don't have to!

Im sorry they were so hurtful. Completely uncalled for.

~hiddn

[Kitt3000 757]

I'm not sure which is worse, having a doctor comment on food:weight, or having one hit on you after weight loss. Either one is inappropriate, and unprofessional . But, you're right, never give the rat bastard the satisfaction of knowing they in nerved you!

[amanda891 6]

I bet he would have been nicer if I was 150 lbs wearing half my clothes. But I'm not. I'm 3-- and I cover everything. And a wear a hijab. He should have known not to touch me. Oh I won't let him see how he nerves me. He's not worth it.