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Getting frustrated and down



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I'm still going thru all the process, getting closer to the end, I have 6 more coaching calls to do basically 6 to 8 weeks of that, once a week, and my EGD needs to be completed, but man I am so down right now, I went to the zoo with my husband and my grown girls and my 16 month old grandson, I was so miserable and just hurt everywhere from all the walking with all this extra weight, I felt like I was walking in quick sand all day, I couldn't keep up, I just can't wait to get the surgery done so I can get on with the next part of my life, a much healthier life. prior to this event, my daughters wanted to take me shopping for my birthday to buy me some new clothes, I hated it, we went to the mall and they kept picking me out outfits that I knew I couldn't fit in to, bless their hearts they had no idea what size I wore and didn't want to offend me, then they wanted me to try on the clothes in the evil 3D dressing room with all the mirrors that really show you what you look like, I ended up in tears, complaining wasn't feeling well to shorten the outing, so I watched them try on clothes which I did have fun doing that, but I told my daughters I didn't want any new clothes until my surgery was completed and I could throw out the elastic pants and big girl clothes if you will.

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I spent a year in hell agonizing over the sleeve decision. I was bigger than you - weight over 300, BMI over 50 - I know how bad you feel inside. All I can say to encourage you is that the sleeve is an amazing tool and you can get your weight under control and meet your goals.

I do want to caution you on having too aggressive or low of a goal weight. I got down to 158 as my goal which was still overweight but I was so healthy and happy there! I maintained that for over 6 months before I decided to go a little smaller. I don't want you to get into that "all or nothing" thinking... you will feel so much better just getting under 250, under 200 etc.

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jhood2005..........you will be amazed at how much better you will feel, even with the first thirty pounds down. You will have emotional ups and downs, but we all volunteered for this ride, didn't we?

Just a comment on the dressing room experience in general........why are most of them painted a yellowy-beige or a puke green, and look like they have not been painted for years, and no hooks to hang stuff on? No wonder we don't like them.

Anyway, I hope that you have a textbook recovery from your surgery. I wish you good luck and good health.

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I totally know how you feel. I went home last year to Seattle for the first time in three years to see my family. All my dad wanted to do was go on a hike with me (he has terminal cancer but is doing OK so far and wanted to get it in before he gets more sick) and I just couldn't even get more than a quarter mile in before I felt like I was going to die and we had to go home. It was so upsetting! My mom took me to the ocean and wanted to walk around a lot and collect shells, etc and I was constantly needing to sit down. I felt like I ruined the trip for everyone and looking at the photos of me from then is shocking and horrendous.

The only thing that kept me going during that vacation was knowing I was going to have surgery in the fall. I'd already met with my surgeon before the trip and it was just a matter of a few pre-op tests and insurance approval, but man was I anxious to get it done. You'll be amazed at how good you'll feel a year from now. Hang in there!

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I've been feeling the exact same way these days. I have 34 more days until my surgery (I have a countdown app on my phone), and I think knowing it's so close is making me much more aware of all the problems I've been ignoring for the past I don't even know how long. I'm so tired of being exhausted and achy all the time. And being out of breath. I'm half considering starting my pre-op liquid phase a little early, just because I want to be doing something already.

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Please save yourself the stress of clothes shopping for 30+ days after surgery. I felt so horrible before surgery that I refused to go shopping, and wore 4 pair of black slacks over and over with different blouses when I worked. Now I am loving shopping and am tossing my 2x, 1x, 18W, etc. I am in a 12/medium and you will be too one day. I could have never made the zoo trip so I am proud of you. Your life will change forever soon so be patient and love yourself.

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Thank you all for the support, it really helps

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Well today another frustrating day, went to my daughter's college today for her freshmen orientation, we had to walk all over campus and lots of stairs, on top of that I was in such a hurry this am, I forgot to take my prescription arthritis meds for my back and knees so I was so miserable physically that I wanted to cry, I didn't but I know my daughter was getting frustrated in a way because I couldn't keep up with the crowd.

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Be gentle on yourself. So many of us were there in that same place at one time.

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Well I have finally been approved, United Healthcare took a little short of a week. Now I am excited, but freaking a little, the reality is finally here. I am just waiting on a surgery date.

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Congrats on getting approved! Your surgery date will be here before you know it. Good luck!

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Congrats on your approval

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ok, thought things were finally happening, got all psyched up for my EGD and my surgery date, But now after all this whole process, 4 days before my EGD the scheduler calls me and says she has to have at least 500$ by Wednesday the day of my procedure or I can't have it done, that she was being nice because they could ask for it all up front, because I have not met my deductible, I have already used up my HCSA money, I have no savings left, I live paycheck to paycheck, it would have been nice to have known in the beginning so I could have expected it, not wait til a few days before my procedure and a month before my surgery anybody know of any company that loans money for this type of thing? Thanks, I am very disappointed, down, and now don't know when I will be able to get all this done so I can start my new life.

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ok, thought things were finally happening, got all psyched up for my EGD and my surgery date, But now after all this whole process, 4 days before my EGD the scheduler calls me and says she has to have at least 500$ by Wednesday the day of my procedure or I can't have it done, that she was being nice because they could ask for it all up front, because I have not met my deductible, I have already used up my HCSA money, I have no savings left, I live paycheck to paycheck, it would have been nice to have known in the beginning so I could have expected it, not wait til a few days before my procedure and a month before my surgery anybody know of any company that loans money for this type of thing? Thanks, I am very disappointed, down, and now don't know when I will be able to get all this done so I can start my new life.

I know it is frustrating, and we had to come up with $600 for the two of us and if we had not had the money we would have waited. I have a thought - rather than borrowing money and paying interest, maybe postpone your surgery a couple months, continue the pre-op diet, have a couple garage sales, and try to accumulate the cash. We all are anxious once we make the decision. But please be patient. I sincerely wish you the best. Where there is a will, there is a way. Get your mind racing with plans!!!!!!! Good luck. Linda

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Well I am pretty much defeated at this time, went thru the whole program, had a EGD date, Surgery date and everything was set to go, now nothing is happening, surgery cancelled, don't know if anything will happen, I have to have at least 4-5 thousand dollars up front, I wasn't told any of this thru out the program, so everything is at a stand still til I can come up with the money, which at this point I don't know how that will happen. We live paycheck to paycheck, have depleted our savings so.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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