Or does there have to be an underlying issue? I mean, yes I have a hectic life, but I can't blame that on my weight. I didn't get big because I was unhappy or because I was emotionally scarred, I got totally unhealthy because one, I am lazy and never really found an exercise I actually liked (until after I was big and it hurt to do it) and two because I love food... The idea of wasting food that taste really good is a problem for me. My hardest thing is having a good dinner, and not finishing what I served myself.. I know that this is going to force me to slow it down and it will allow me the "tool" to stop me from overeating.. I know this is the right choice for me.

I just wanted to get your thoughts.. do you think deep down I am really scarred somewhere inside and I just haven't discovered it, or has anybody just been in love with food the way I am..?'

I know it's a nerdy question because nobody really knows me, but I wanted to know if this is the case with more people than I think.

Thanks!!

I think there are different schools of thought on it and I know there are some on this board that think every obese person by definition has an eating disorder and if you don't then you just won't admit it to yourself I don't necessarily agree with that though.

I don't know the answer, but I am also aware of my reasons for it happening and while it isn't a big emotional scar or issue, there is a specific reason and it is non-food related.

I am interested to hear others' feedback on this issue.

Edited May 17, 201412 yr by woo woo

wish i had something very insightful, but for me it was both, i did have emotional reasons and i love food.

Whenever I hear someone say things like this it brings me back to this time last year when I was struggling with the same issues. I encourage you to get screened for eating disorders; actually, I encourage everyone getting WLS to get screened for them. food is an important and deeply meaningful thing that does many things for us psychologically. Therapy is always good (provided you find a therapist who treats those with eating issues), and I know I wouldn't be so successful with my surgery without my therapist.

At 67 I was losing the battle of the bulge, with newly diagnosed asthma and diabetes, and the HBP, and knee replacement. Personally I love food, grew up with a Mother in the South who could outcook Paula Deen, and I have been on a "diet" since I was 12 when I was told I had a potbelly. Looking at pictures of myself then, I was thin. But the seed was planted. I love gravy, biscuits, fried food, chicken and dumplings, etc., and in talking with the psychologist we discussed how I equate love with the foods of my childhood. I decided I did not want to spend the rest of my life in a recliner, barely able to walk because of neuropathy. Food simply is not the focus anymore, and my husband's problems were much worse. We drove from Oklahoma to Louisiana today, barely nibbling on food. No more heavy meals. Your life will change forever and I wish you the best!

I can't speak for you, but maybe something in my own experience/opinion may help you. I believe that I used food to self-medicate. I have anxiety (which manifests itself as me being a worrywart) and the food was a comfort. Also, I've always liked to eat rich, salty and sweet foods and seemed to have a natural born hatred of all things healthy (except fruits).

I've always been a picky eater, so my diet didn't have much variety of space to try new, healthier things. I learned in a college health class that binge/overeating activates the same pleasure center as drugs and other deviant behavior in our brains so I believe I ate so much because it released endorphins.

However like with drugs, you have to up the ante and do more and more to get the same high, then your body gets used to it, so you keep increasing it until you find yourself eating two burrito bowls from Chipotle, a 20oz Cherry Cokes and half a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream a couple hours later with a lemon-cranberry cookie (or 2 or 3) chaser and a tall glass of milk.

In addition to enjoying things that taste good, I like things that feel good in my mouth ("THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" LoL). And most things that felt good to me are high in calories like creamy Soups, cold smooth ice cream, frozen candy bars, crunchy chips with ice cold dip, soft melty Cookies, gooey pizza, etc.

The things that felt bad tend to be healthier (ie: I hate how tuna is soft and mushy and when you press it against the roof of your mouth juice gushes out. I don't like how broccolli is always super tough or super mushy when I bite into it.I used to hate tomatoes because they're all gushy inside and there's weird seeds. I don't like most kinds of fish because sometimes you can feel bones in the meat and I hate having to fish around in my mouth to retrieve the bones that remind me so much of sewing needles while my mouth is full of food).

Edit: I also think I got so fat because I used to eat FAST, like a dog. I would try to out-eat my fullness. So I'd gobble everything down so I could get in as much as possible before the fullness would kick in. Then I'd feel all gross and like I needed to vomit

Edited May 17, 201412 yr by Comfy_Blue

Or does there have to be an underlying issue? I mean, yes I have a hectic life, but I can't blame that on my weight. I didn't get big because I was unhappy or because I was emotionally scarred, I got totally unhealthy because one, I am lazy and never really found an exercise I actually liked (until after I was big and it hurt to do it) and two because I love food... The idea of wasting food that taste really good is a problem for me. My hardest thing is having a good dinner, and not finishing what I served myself.. I know that this is going to force me to slow it down and it will allow me the "tool" to stop me from overeating.. I know this is the right choice for me. I just wanted to get your thoughts.. do you think deep down I am really scarred somewhere inside and I just haven't discovered it, or has anybody just been in love with food the way I am..?' I know it's a nerdy question because nobody really knows me, but I wanted to know if this is the case with more people than I think. Thanks!!

I read this with the biggest smile on my face because I felt the EXACT same way prior to my surgery and I am now 5 months post op and 80lbs down and I look back and still think it was that I honestly just loved food! Growing up, I always played sports and was extremely social and outgoing and with that comes dinners and events like crazy! I literally loved (and love even more) everything about my life except my weight. Great marriage, family, job, etc... So to answer your question, yes I think that could be your issue was that you just are in love with food! It's strange because my husband and I went out for a really nice meal tonight and as I was sitting there, I realized "holy crap, I'm fully paying to the conversation instead of wondering, "when is good coming out? Is he going to eat all of his half? That's all they are bringing out?! I'm still hungry!" I know people say all the time that this surgery isn't going to fix all of your problems, but for me, I honestly felt like it solved the big "issue" in my life. Everyone is different but we may be in the same boat here!! Good luck to you!

but you have to ask yourself what was going on with you that you loved food SO MUCH that you let yourself get obese. many many people who are not obese LOVE food. they savor and enjoy the food they love, but never eat so much they get huge. its not about "why" did you eat, but how did you get to the place you are right now with your body?

Or does there have to be an underlying issue? I mean, yes I have a hectic life, but I can't blame that on my weight. I didn't get big because I was unhappy or because I was emotionally scarred, I got totally unhealthy because one, I am lazy and never really found an exercise I actually liked (until after I was big and it hurt to do it) and two because I love food... The idea of wasting food that taste really good is a problem for me. My hardest thing is having a good dinner, and not finishing what I served myself.. I know that this is going to force me to slow it down and it will allow me the "tool" to stop me from overeating.. I know this is the right choice for me. I just wanted to get your thoughts.. do you think deep down I am really scarred somewhere inside and I just haven't discovered it, or has anybody just been in love with food the way I am..?' I know it's a nerdy question because nobody really knows me, but I wanted to know if this is the case with more people than I think. Thanks!!

I read this with the biggest smile on my face because I felt the EXACT same way prior to my surgery and I am now 5 months post op and 80lbs down and I look back and still think it was that I honestly just loved food! Growing up, I always played sports and was extremely social and outgoing and with that comes dinners and events like crazy! I literally loved (and love even more) everything about my life except my weight. Great marriage, family, job, etc... So to answer your question, yes I think that could be your issue was that you just are in love with food! It's strange because my husband and I went out for a really nice meal tonight and as I was sitting there, I realized "holy crap, I'm fully paying to the conversation instead of wondering, "when is good coming out? Is he going to eat all of his half? That's all they are bringing out?! I'm still hungry!" I know people say all the time that this surgery isn't going to fix all of your problems, but for me, I honestly felt like it solved the big "issue" in my life. Everyone is different but we may be in the same boat here!! Good luck to you!

Ditto. (Minus the husband part).

but you have to ask yourself what was going on with you that you loved food SO MUCH that you let yourself get obese. many many people who are not obese LOVE food. they savor and enjoy the food they love, but never eat so much they get huge. its not about "why" did you eat, but how did you get to the place you are right now with your body?

Well I can only speak to myself, but I know that every day (prior to the sleeve), I would skip breakfast because I wasn't hungry at all, eat a huge lunch because I became super hungry and would eat something like fast food, and then there would be days that I wouldn't eat dinner or if there was a social event, I would go and eat a relatively unhealthy dinner as well. I never had that experience that people talk about where they feel so down on themselves for being fat so they go drive through McDonalds. My biggest problem was for sure the quantity. Quality sucked too, but I do love healthy foods and when I would become fixated on a diet, I was fine with the foods, but if could never get full on the "recommended quantities". Who knows! I don't want to blame it strictly on genes, however my dad is extremely large and my mom has struggled her entire life with her weigh as well. I think the combination of everything was less than ideal for me!

You'll find die hard believers that obesity is ALWAYS related to eating disorders, and that you need therapy to overcome it. Some qualify it as food addiction. I'm not so sure about any of that, though it's probably true for some and not for others. I think it is unique, and the factors that contribute to obesity haven't been fully identified yet. I think medical science is still figuring it out, and until then, we all need to take an honest look at ourselves and figure out what's going to work for us to succeed. Whether there is a deep-seated emotional factor or not, I do think there is always a mental component we need to figure out, even if it's as simple as changing your mindset about how you will behave. It's not a one size fits all, IMO.

I think Michiganchic got it right. We are all individuals and there are many different factors contributing to obesity. Whether it's genetics, bad eating habits, or mental issues, each factor has varying degrees of influence on each individual. They even think GI flora plays a roll. Look how different people react to stress...my work partner can't eat and she exercises like crazy when she's sad or stressed. Meanwhile, I stuff my face. (And these are "normal" day to day stresses, not major "need to be in therapy" stresses.)

Even look how each of us handle the experience post op....there are individuals that are thrilled with their sleeve maybe even despite complications. They adapt to the required life changes with little drama. There are others that get depressed and feel like failures when they hit a stall. And still others that regret the decision simply because they miss food. Even the success stories are different..some track everything, some train for marathons, some simply eat healthy and never bother to count or weigh anything. Some people can eat an occasional dessert while others must avoid carbs at all costs. The reactions to getting thinner and healthier are at least as diverse as the ways we got obese in the first place.