65 and over

[reallyrosy 161]

Bubbletoes...love the optimism

[toler48 120]

Bubbletoes, sounds like you are doing great!

[Cococat 119]

Toler:

Yup. I am a (sort of) Trekkie. Anything weird, I like. I never dressed up as a Kingon, never have been green or had a pet tribble, but my cats make hairballs, especially this time of year.

Back to your friend - the way she tries to avoid reality in dealing/not dealing with her diabetes, is the same way she is not dealing with her weight. Same pattern of behavior. She just wants you to buy into her point of view - that reality does not count. But reality does count. Her score will be Reality-1, Your Friend-0. Reality always wins.

Enjoy your friend as long as she lives, which may not be that long. I don't mean to sound hard, but you have no control over her. I had no control over my father's behavior or health. He lived (and smoked) the way he wanted to. He died at 63 from his third heart attack. Nothing I said or did had any impact upon either my mother or father's attitude toward smoking. You would not believe the fights, the lies, the stupidity of it all. I wish I comfort you about your friend because I know how helpless you must feel.

Anyway, back to you: In taking care of your physical self, as well as you can, you are in effect, offering thanks to God for your life. Your friend is not thanking God. She is not valuing what was given to her.

[Cococat 119]

Toler:

I meant, "Klingon." Sometimes this board does not accept the words I type in right. I have to check every word. Missed the "Klingon" mistake.

[toler48 120]

Cococat

I always thought having a tribble would be cool LOL Don't have any cats right now, miss that too.

I like weird stuff too. Sci-Fi fan big time.

Yes, my friend is her own enemy. Something will happen and she'll say, "well guess that's my wake up call". Then she keeps hanging up LOL no, not funny really.

Now, it seems my hubby is not totally on my side. This evening he tells me he still isn't sure about the surgery. He thinks it won't do for me what I want it to do. That all I need to do is put my mind to it and I can control my weight.

He referred to my continuing to smoke after I had lung cancer (I'm 25 yrs clear). Yes, I did, I kept smoking until 2002. I was basically forced to quit because I knew I would never be able to take care of my granddaughter (born in 2003) if I continued to smoke. I quit and never looked back, no problems, no withdrawal.

BUT

As everyone knows, one cannot stop eating. I've "put my mind to it" many times over the years. All of us in the position we are in, have done the same thing.

I just don't know how to get him on my side. Should I even keep trying at this point? I do have total support from everyone else, especially my daughter and son. I want to tell him, let me at least try, give me support to try my hardest with this tool. I want a new life!!

Sigh

[Lady1putt 24]

Congratulations Bubbletoes!!!

You are doing so well! 3 months ago

On April1st I had the sleeve surgery.

Life is good! I am down 38 pounds

From beginning weight of 217!

Glad you are feeling great!

Linda

[Cococat 119]

I don't know what to do about your husband. If he thinks all you have to do is to put your mind to it, he is way off base. There are hunger hormones made in the stomach by certain cells that the operation removes or diminishes. Yes, those cells can grow back, but if you keep to your doctor's suggestions and the Vitamins he tells you to take, you will do well.

Living heavy is torture. Being tempted by carbohydrates is torture. It is compounded by those hunger hormones. Maybe HE does not have those hormones, but you and I do. Incidentally, it is well known that men lose weight easier than women do. I think it is because throughout human history, chubby women lasted through periods of starvation on their fat deposits and could reproduce children for the next generation. That feature is no longer so important. Certainly at our age it is not so important. It is more important that we slim down to remain alive and helpful to our grown children and grandchildren.

I had the support of my husband who actually was the one to suggest that I get the sleeve instead of the lap band. He said for me to go all the way, thinking about all the alternatives. I am glad he did. Both he and my family doctor advised the sleeve. I babied myself and thought only of myself and recovery after the operation. No problems. My husband does not mind eating frozen dinners. I still get guilty if I don't cook him a decent dinner once in a while. (We had meatballs and gravy tonight, but I eat about 1/3 of what I used to.) And I still take my chocolate Protein shakes (Premier Protein).

But I think he also has learned something about healthy eating and chooses Protein over carbs more now. We have gone to my support group and nutritionist meetings together. Maybe if your husband went to some of your pre-op meetings with your nutritionist and support group - if you have them - he might see how difficult it can be for us. Hearing other people's stories can help too. It is miserable and painful to be fat. Then, go to support group of post-op people and notice the difference in attitude and hear the health benefits they report. How can he deny you twenty points down on your high blood pressure?

[*Kate* 10]

Toler48, I know that - like the rest of us - have put your mind to losing weight. Many times. With temporary success at best.

In less than a year I've lost almost 100 lbs and have absolutely no regrets about having the surgery. I didn't do it to look better, though that's a bonus. I didn't do it to please my husband, though he's been very supportive. I did it for myself because I knew that if I didn't do it I would always carry around all those extra pounds.

He may be like my husband, afraid that the surgery might be dangerous. He was very emotional when I went in, much more than with my subsequent knee replacements. Somehow losing most of your stomach just seems scarier. He may also be afraid you will change. You will, but in good ways. If your life revolves around eating good food and drinking fine wines you will find that those things just aren't important anymore. That can be a major challenge for him.

Perhaps a talk with your surgeon will help him and answer questions he may have. at least you have a lot of support from others. Good luck!

Kate

[toler48 120]

Thing is, he has gone with me to the two PA visits and the 1 NUT visit. He was out of town for the very first visit with the surgeon. He says he has looked at information online, what exactly I don't know.

Yes, he can control himself food wise. He could stand to lose 20lbs or so, but no one in his family has ever had a weight problem.

He may not realize it consciously, but I think he is trying to undermine me. We have been married 45 years, so I can read him pretty good. He isn't controling, but it's more a passive-aggressive type of thing.

Wow, just realize I said the same thing about my friend, hmmmm

A lot of time I will back down and say ok I won't do that or get that, just to keep the peace. This time NO! I want this, I NEED this. This is for me and it's about time I do something FOR ME DAMNIT. Sorry for that but it's the truth.

Ok ENOUGH whining. Gonna put my big girl panties on and meet with the PA tomorrow and continue this journey STRONG.

Love all of you and thank you for YOUR support! I know I can come here and vent anytime.

[Bubbletoes 124]

That's the way to think, Toler! I can tell you I have been on countless diets throughout my life and I always started with resolve and the best intentions that each time would be the last. Unfortunately, I started out good, but at some point fell by the wayside, unable to resist temptation and would give up. After my sleeve, I still have days when I want a cheeseburger, a donut, or a handful or two of M&Ms, but now I have this brand new superpower: My sleeve! I just can't physically do it because my sleeve won't let me indulge. One bite too much and I have pain or nausea, two feelings I hate. It warns me what will happen which I never had in my previous diet riddled life. I have head hunger on one shoulder, but the thought of pain and misery if I cheat on my other shoulder always wins out! You will see and you will use the tool (yoursleeve) every day. Do this for yourself. This time you can do it because you will have an inner strength in that tiny stomach that will see you through!

[ellynmae 1]

Hi! I think this is my first post on BariatricPal. I am 63. My starting weight was 250 lbs and I am 5ft3. After 3 months of my insurance company's required 6 months medically supervised diet, I have lost 16 pounds! I use MyFitnessPal to track everything I eat and to keep track of the protein/fat/carb ratio.

My goal is to have the sleeve surgery. I'm a bit concerned that I have a lot of adhesions which could result in needing an open surgery. I am willing to take that risk. More troublesome is that mu upper endoscopes have revealed a hiatal hernia in the past. So I'm curious to learn what my new endoscopy, next month, will reveal.

We live in Florida but travel in our motor home in the summer. Twice, am actually flying down to FL for my monthly weigh-in and checkups. In past summers I gained weight while traveling so I am tickled that I'm disciplined, this year. I'm glad for the traveling fun (and grandchild visits) that are making time go by fast as I wait for my receiving the surgery.

So that's my story, so far

[Bubbletoes 124]

Welcome! Sounds like you are off to an excellent start! I'm 6 weeks out from my sleeve and I feel great. I want to reassure you that it can be done because it happened to me. I had massive adhesions, had a hiatal hernia repair and the sleeve all done laparoscopically. I did have to sign a consent for open surgery "just in case". The surgery took four hours instead of one, and I had 6 incisions instead of 3, but I did well enough to be discharged home the next day. Keep on doing well, and your surgery date will be here before you know it!

[toler48 120]

@@ellynmae

Welcome! Sounds like you and I may be close to the same time surgery wise. I'm hoping to have surgery in Sept maybe Oct. Going to depend on getting all the tests done after approval in Aug.

I had my third PA visit today. I had lost 3 pounds. That dosn't sound like much but I can't lose too much before trying to get approval. Ins gal says I'm on the edge as far as BMI is concerned and can't go below 209.

My surgeon doesn't require a pre-surgery diet of any kind, at least he said he wouldn't for me.

I have my Phyc eval next week.

Keep in touch!

Cat

[Sherry S 103]

Welcome EllynMae

Great group here and you'll have good support and learn a lot from the forums.

Where in FL are you having the surgery? I had hip resurfacings in Sarrasota and Tampa. I lived in the Keys, Clwtr, Ft Laud, and Ocala for 25 yrs before moving to AZ.

Good luck and again welcome.

[HealthyJudy 53]

Hi everyone. I'm 65 and Wednesday will be 4 weeks since my sleeve. The first 2 weeks were easy. The last 2 have been more difficult with Constipation and other body pains. I went back to work after 2 weeks and that seems fine (other than then one day when I had severe constipation pain.) Not ready to retire yet -- maybe in 5 years. Including presurgery diet, I've lost 48 lbs. So much fun fitting into all the clothes I had saved in my basement. I'm having a charitable pick up come by every 2 weeks to pick up all the 3x's and 2x's that are now too big! Looking forward to getting to that 50 lb mark soon. I'm surprised that some people haven't noticed my weight loss yet (different from those who you can tell notice but are being polite and not saying anything. Others just don't seem to even notice!) Has that happened to any of you? To me I look so different already.