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Irrational fear #68 and some random thoughts...lol

All my life I've been what's called "thick", I've always loved my size, I felt like it made me stand out from all the lil smaller ones...I loved watching men walk right pass them and hit on me all the time, even in front of my husband because they would lock in on me and come straight to me and not even notice him standing next to me....feels good married or not!

I am athletic and strong, stacked with muscles along with huge breast and a big healthy butt that give me a nice rounded shape that I love more than anyone else and those assets always made me very desirable. My husband loves my size and he's the only man I NEED looking at me but since I still WANT all eyes on me...my fear is that losing the weight will put me in the ordinary category and I feel I won't stand out as much. I know it sounds weird and quite opposite than most but my size made me more sociable...cuz when I walk in a room, I bring attention and I use to be extremely shy but my husband made me feel so special, I gained great confidence with him over the past 18 years, so I learned to smile and accept all the eyes and made peace and not war and I learned to love me like never before..

I even love my rounded face and can do without the sharp jaw line...I guess I love being fluffy and I love fluffy people, I want my husband to gain weight just so I can rub my face in his stomach...lol...idk, I just love fluffy and soft!! I guess this also means no more making fun of skinny people...lol, FINE!

I'm trying to wrap my head around this and I'm hoping to love my new healthy body just as much or more and i pray I keep my boobs...they're awesome, even I love them...LOL!

#randomethougths #babblingbrook

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Why are you having WLS? Health reasons only...honestly, I'm doing it mainly because of health and I am looking forward to my big stomach shrinking and getting rid of my double chin, not going to lie! My knees are feeling it and I don't hardly ever buy myself clothes because I don't feel like anything looks good.

Girl, I hear you!!! In the two weeks before surgery, I started really freaking out and having doubts! I didn't want to lose my "thickness" either. It's my identity and it took me many years to own it. I just kept reminding myself of all the reasons that I was having the surgery. I'm only three weeks out, so it remains to be seen what happens. :)

You've surely heard the question we husbands are always asked......".Hon, is my butt big??"...............trust me, we lie. ;)

  • Author

Why are you having WLS? Health reasons only...honestly, I'm doing it mainly because of health and I am looking forward to my big stomach shrinking and getting rid of my double chin, not going to lie! My knees are feeling it and I don't hardly ever buy myself clothes because I don't feel like anything looks good.

And yes...u hit all the points. I'm doing it for preventative reasons with a family full of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems like strokes...also my own PCOS in which I hope changes with the weight loss, and fibromyalgia in which I pray is less painful.

Then the perks and benefits are amazzzzing! I wanna lose the stomach, that's my problem, the double Decker stomach that I cover so well. Can't wait to love shopping again...I loved my body except the stomach but never felt like I loved my clothing options. We all know we will look better in clothes and what girl will fight that point!! Bring it on...

  • Author

Girl, I hear you!!! In the two weeks before surgery, I started really freaking out and having doubts! I didn't want to lose my "thickness" either. It's my identity and it took me many years to own it. I just kept reminding myself of all the reasons that I was having the surgery. I'm only three weeks out, so it remains to be seen what happens. :)

Oh 3wks out....ok congrats. But yes I'm freaking out a bit...or ask my husband, a lot...lol. Yes I was feeling big and beautiful so I can't wait to see what this new beauty will feel like. I'm on this train baby!! Good luck to u..

  • Author

You've surely heard the question we husbands are always asked......".Hon, is my butt big??"...............trust me, we lie. ;)

I told him I kno he lies and I love him more for it.. he sure looks at me as if I'm the most beautiful thing in this world so now I blame him for blinding me! Lol, just kidding that's our lil joke.

Him and our daughter are so strong and healthy, just can't wait to join them!

It sounds like people are attracted to YOU, not your "thickness" . Confidence is may be your strongest asset, Keep that energy going!

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