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Irrational fear #68 and some random thoughts...lol
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All my life I've been what's called "thick", I've always loved my size, I felt like it made me stand out from all the lil smaller ones...I loved watching men walk right pass them and hit on me all the time, even in front of my husband because they would lock in on me and come straight to me and not even notice him standing next to me....feels good married or not!
I am athletic and strong, stacked with muscles along with huge breast and a big healthy butt that give me a nice rounded shape that I love more than anyone else and those assets always made me very desirable. My husband loves my size and he's the only man I NEED looking at me but since I still WANT all eyes on me...my fear is that losing the weight will put me in the ordinary category and I feel I won't stand out as much. I know it sounds weird and quite opposite than most but my size made me more sociable...cuz when I walk in a room, I bring attention and I use to be extremely shy but my husband made me feel so special, I gained great confidence with him over the past 18 years, so I learned to smile and accept all the eyes and made peace and not war and I learned to love me like never before..
I even love my rounded face and can do without the sharp jaw line...I guess I love being fluffy and I love fluffy people, I want my husband to gain weight just so I can rub my face in his stomach...lol...idk, I just love fluffy and soft!! I guess this also means no more making fun of skinny people...lol, FINE!
I'm trying to wrap my head around this and I'm hoping to love my new healthy body just as much or more and i pray I keep my boobs...they're awesome, even I love them...LOL!
#randomethougths #babblingbrook