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Got my first unexpected, "but why don't you just diet?" lecture today

Two previously supportive coworkers tag-teamed me with their opinions today. Came out of nowhere. I figured it would happen at some point, but I'm still frustrated. Oh well - I was falling asleep and now I've been annoyed awake...at least I'll be productive the rest of the day.

This was all the usual stuff. Just eat 1500 - no, 1800 calories. Eat every 2 hours. Low carb. No, no carb. No carb is good. Don't waste the money on surgery. Eat broccoli and boiled chicken. After surgery you'll have to diet, why not do it now? Blah blah blah and some more blah.

One of them is my size, getting larger, and in denial about it. Stuffs herself into her clothes like a sausage in a casing and won't admit to being over 200 pounds. She goes through wild swings. One day you can offer her something and she goes off the deep end at you about how she's on a diet and isn't eating crap like that - the next day she's stuffing rolls and M&M's in her piehole hand over fist.

The other one, I'm very proud of - she's about a size 4 now and used to be >250 pounds, and did it via the "boiled chicken" method with boot camps twice per day. Good for her. But her way isn't the only way, and being on the other end of a lecture from a sanctimonious ex-fatty who thinks her answers are the only answers is not my idea of a fun way to spend the afternoon.

I'm having this surgery because I'm 36 and 300 pounds. I've been fat my entire life. My knees hurt. My feet hurt. My blood pressure is poorly controlled. I want babies before I'm too old to raise them. I. Don't. Want. To. Die. And anyone who thinks they're going to talk me out of doing something to save my life can kiss my fat a$$ for as long as I still have it.

Rant, over.

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Two previously supportive coworkers tag-teamed me with their opinions today. Came out of nowhere. I figured it would happen at some point, but I'm still frustrated. Oh well - I was falling asleep and now I've been annoyed awake...at least I'll be productive the rest of the day. This was all the usual stuff. Just eat 1500 - no, 1800 calories. Eat every 2 hours. Low carb. No, no carb. No carb is good. Don't waste the money on surgery. Eat broccoli and boiled chicken. After surgery you'll have to diet, why not do it now? Blah blah blah and some more blah. One of them is my size, getting larger, and in denial about it. Stuffs herself into her clothes like a sausage in a casing and won't admit to being over 200 pounds. She goes through wild swings. One day you can offer her something and she goes off the deep end at you about how she's on a diet and isn't eating crap like that - the next day she's stuffing rolls and M&M's in her piehole hand over fist. The other one, I'm very proud of - she's about a size 4 now and used to be >250 pounds, and did it via the "boiled chicken" method with boot camps twice per day. Good for her. But her way isn't the only way, and being on the other end of a lecture from a sanctimonious ex-fatty who thinks her answers are the only answers is not my idea of a fun way to spend the afternoon. I'm having this surgery because I'm 36 and 300 pounds. I've been fat my entire life. My knees hurt. My feet hurt. My blood pressure is poorly controlled. I want babies before I'm too old to raise them. I. Don't. Want. To. Die. And anyone who thinks they're going to talk me out of doing something to save my life can kiss my fat a$$ for as long as I still have it. Rant, over.

I can relate to your reason why to have surgery! I'm celebrating my 2week post op with dinner of a small portion (1/4 cup) ricotta cheese bake. And you know what? I'm fully, completely satisfied and completely free of cravings! I've lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks, 45 since I started this journey last fall. And my feet, ankles, knees have zero pain. I'm off bp meds, and I have no regrets! None! I chose not to tell too many people, just very close circle of friends. I started most conversations with "I've made this decision after a lot of thought and with the help of a team of experts. I've looked at the research, I've thought about all sides, all pros and cons, and I'm good with this." I found the "preemptive strike" works well. I started at 325, so I know where you are. My only regret? Waiting til I'm 45. Wish I'd have had this option at 36. This is not easy. In fact the emotional journey is probably harder than the physical. But it's worth it. If you are 100% sure, let nothing hold you back! There is a lot of support on these boards. Good luck to you!

  • 2 weeks later...

I'd say because I've tried all that and it doesn't work. Stats show 90-95% of people can't lose like 10% of the weight and keep it off. You see people in the news that do it because it is so rare. The tool helps you, if you use the tool right.

  • 2 weeks later...

I love these comments. I haven't had anyone tell me that the surgery is the "easy way out". How would they know anyway? Your friend that is now a size 4 - I wonder if she will be a size 4 in a year or two. I've been everything from size 11 to size 24 (currently). I'm 70 & doing this. I would like to be healthy & pain free the rest of my life!! I think you will get the last laugh in the end.

Amen to that one. Even if they are a size 4, some are different. I mean some people can get over the flu by themselves and others need IV's or hospitalizations. Does it really matter if someone gets the surgery to help them be healthier? My gosh its not like we don't recoup the money spent in a few years. Jeez ... you know am I the only one who thinks that the mindset of those NOT getting surgery need more adjustment than those GETTING the surgery?

  • Author

I LOVE hearing all the stories from people who made this leap and are off their meds and feeling good! I'm not blind to the risks, but just knowing it's possible makes me happy :).

Maxcimax - people are hitting the hundred year mark all the time and you might easily have 30+ years left in you (and I'll tell you what, if I don't do it now, I won't see 70). I agree, if you can fix it and be comfortable and active, go for it!

Edited by roundisashape

Agreed never be worried about your age. Whatever you have left, make it healthy!

Love your post. I chose to tell no one (outside of my wife and close family) specifically to avoid this type of BS. People ask me what I'm doing to loose so much weight and I say that "I'm eating much less" and they just roll their eyes and walk away. I'm sure they'd love for me to talk about some ridiculous Richard Simmons diet! Totally respect you for letting people know about your decision, but I suppose the downside is dealing with a little ignorance. You. Are. Definitely. Making. The. Right. Decision!!!

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