How to Tell Your Friends and Family that You are Having WLS Surgery

One of the things that I have struggled the most with in my pre op journey, is knowing how and when to tell my friends and family that I was going to have gastric bypass surgery. I have been terrified to have this conversation with people because I was afraid of being judged or told that they don't support my decision. We've all heard people say that "it's the easy way out," or that "we could loose the excess weight with diet & exercise," and then of course there are people that will tell us, "you don't need to change because you're fine just the way you are."

Three days ago, I finally told my first friend about my decision, and it was like having a major weight lifted off my chest! I made a video about it at well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIHgcJA3tEs. One down...a dozen more to go and I'm as nervous as can be!!!

Have you shared your secret with a loved one? Have you told your friends that you've decided to take control of your obesity once and for all. Did they offer you encouragement and support, or did they try to talk you out of your decision and act jealous? I'm hoping to gain courage from some of your stories! Please share your experience about telling others about your WLS decision so that we can help inspire and support one another.

The only person in my family that knows is my mother and my brother who recently got the bypass in December and my close friends know but I'm nervous in telling the rest of my family. I don't want to be taking judgment right now when surgery is literally around the corner. I'll wait till after I start the losing weight process if they ask questions cuz I know my family are the ones to do that

My husband is the only one who knows. The rest don't matter and I don't need their approval (not likely to get it anyway). I know that sounds very negative, but I really don't need every conversation for the rest of my life to be about weight loss/surgery. I just want to get on with life. I tend to compartmentalize my life.. or create fire walls... lol so if one part blows up at least another part will be "safe" still.

I know exactly how u feel. My bf knows as well and he is supportive and happy for me making a change but I know to some extent he worries just like my mother as well. Both say something but respect my decision. This is for me not by what they want.

AprilHansen, you hit the nail on the head for me! I also don't want every conversation I have with people focused on how much weight have I lost, how am I feeling, what is going on, etc, etc. I have a lot of wonderful people in my life, but like you, I just want to get this surgery over with and move on to the healthier part of my life!! My inlaws (lovely people) accidentally found out, and the drama that has already ensued is exactly why I didn't want to tell them in the first place. Supportive and curious, just NOSY!! My own mom was one of the first people I told and she has always been very supportive. We had lunch the other day and talked a little bit about both of our fears, and she said that on one particular morning when she was feeling very anxious for me and worried, there was a HUGE article in the newspaper proclaiming the health benefits of having gastric bypass. I think that was a little tap on the shoulder from God, and for her that cemented that I am doing it for the right reasons, and that while it might be a little scary, the health benefits are like treasure waiting to be found. Blessings to all of you on this journey!

At this point I almost wish less people knew. I don't feel like telling people 12 times a day how much weight I've lost. I feel like half the conversations I have go like this "hey how are you" me: "I'm good" other person "how much weight have you lost?"

I haven't even got back to work yet, I'm dreading that. One of my coworkers had RNY about 6 years ago and he is already the type that knows everything about everything. The thing is, he's gained most if his weight back and I really don't want or need his advice. I think I'm going to tell him to mind his own damn business if he tries to talk to me about it. Luckily my coworkers who do know were explicitly told not to let him know why I've been out, so maybe he'll leave me alone.

I'm kind of struggling with that too -- I've only told one very close friend, my 3 children (14, 20 and 23) and my ex-husband (because the kids told him). Like several of you, I have avoided telling people because I just don't want to make this decision by popular vote, you know? I've read and researched and attended support groups and feel like I'm making the best decision for me. I really don't want somebody to tell me "you're not that heavy" or "why don't you just diet and exercise" or "that's the easy way out".

I will tell my parents just before the surgery and I'm probably going to tell the 2 people at work who keep candy jars on their desks. They are both good friends and I am their biggest customer, so I want to tell them to slap my hand if I reach for candy!

Ginger

Just my husband and 8 year old son know at this point. I'm not in the habit of sharing much personal information and I figure if I think you need to know, I'll tell you.

I think I may feel that way because about 12 years ago I lost over 100 pounds on WW. I then met my husband, got married, got pregnant immediately and went on to gain that weight back plus 20 or so. I've tried to do WW again (among other things) but I have had -0- success this time around. I kind of feel like if I did it before I can do it again, but that hasn't proved to be the case, you know? I don't want to hear from anyone that I'm "copping out".

Actually, my husband was the one who suggested (pushed) that I see the doctor to begin with and now that I have and he's seen what is involved, he's not too sure. Figures. As for me, I wasn't too sure beforehand but after attending the initial seminar and researching and reading A LOT on here, I know it's the right path for me. Someone on here has a signature that says something like "it's never too late to be what you might have been". That really resonates with me and says everything about why I'm beginning the journey.

So, now that I've gotten off topic, I'll guess what I'm saying is I'll tell the rest of my family/friends if and when I damn well feel like it. This is about me and my health, not anyone else and their negative opinions.

- Kristen

Amen sistuh!