Dating

[Fiddleman 4,376]

Eliminate all the fear and secrecy around WLS and loose skin by dating someone who has had WLS. There certainly a lot of fish in that pond. Just a thought.

[thefinalgirl1971 26]

I second the idea of going online. I'm 43 and about a year ago met a great guy online. He knows about my band and is fine with my saggy skin. Lol. He can eat everything he sees and not gain weight but hey that is my burden to bear. There is hope to still find love at our age! We're at our peak remember!

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Okay, old post and I have more dating experience now. What I have found is nobody cares that I used to be BIG. I don't have much saggy skin but do have PS scars - they have healed well and I don't hide them - so all summer wearing sleeveless so the opportunity to notice them has been there and nobody seems to care.

I think the real issue for me is that I don't want to hop around in terms of intimate relations and finding someone to see for at least the medium term has been a challenge.

I am contributing to this by being ridiculously picky (fitness, looks, compatibility, attraction etc) and the guys my age are contributing to this by being so damn scared of actually "getting close" to someone.

I also realize that I get uncomfortable meeting men in some social situations - like when I go out dancing I get men expressing interest in me quite frequently but I back away... I feel awkward ... maybe I even feel a tiny bit afraid, not sure...I am trying to learn more about myself on this topic because i realize I am slamming doors before giving it a chance.

So, I am today on the fence about 3 options:

1. Give up entirely and live life without a physical relationship - i have tons of friends, hobbies, go dancing alot etc so this is a viable option!

2. Go younger - they seem to have way less baggage and while not likely for a long term, thinking maybe finding someone to see and do stuff with for awhile could come out of that. Yes, I realize they are looking more for a FWB situation, but at least they can deliver on the benefits! (ok, I am being a bit jaded here...)

3. Go back to my old boyfriend who has issues but at least is "safe" and fun and not such a waste of time that I have found dating to be. We care about each other even though there are definate issues.

4. Keep on being open to the possibility... but it hasn't worked out too well for me so far so today, right now, that doesn't feel very promising.

[angelicHG7 118]

Try meetup.com and join some single groups with similar interest as you... Try making guy friends and the dating part will just fall into place.

[par1959 470]

I so enjoy these posts with all the conflicting advice. In one corner some women are so hung up about guys wanting sex, but they still would like the guys to spend the energy and resources to date them. I call this hold me, but don’t touch me syndrome. And in the other corner there is concern over men being afraid to commit to a relationship. After dating the hold me but don’t touch me types, why would a guy want to commit? I recommend a dog, they don’t care about sex and they commit till death if your nice to them

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

par, you might not be correctly intepeting remarks. I have invested months getting to know someone, at his pace, not mine. And in the end I find I am one in a long string of "not good enough" and it has nothing to do with sex. Fine, but at some point with this guy he probably needs to think about if he actually wants the relationship he claims he wants

[KayleeC14 159]

So as a single 24 year old, dating is entirely new for me because I was with somebody for a significant amount of time over the summer I became single. I decided to go online to a dating website. I am far from shy about my weight loss. I put it right in the "about me" on my profile. I see it as apart of me that I want to tell, because it is a HUGE accomplishment. I have kissed a lot of toads from going on dates but I have never ever had a negative remark about the decision I made to loose weight and how I did it. Dating is fun, I think, even if its just making new guy friends. Right now I found a really awesome guy from one of the sites and I think it might stick.

[harleyphleb 35]

I met my man on a dating site. .. be careful there are a lot of crazies out there and there is nothing to mention at least until you feel comfortable telling anyone anything about yourself... BTW we dated 5 tears and recently have gotten engaged before surgery .