This post should probably be in the 'Rant' section.

So tonight I'm at my WLS support group. The subject was Food Addiction. I like this subject a lot. I over came my sugar addiction BEFORE surgery. So I'm very sympathetic to this subject. Right up until this (large)woman started talking about her lack of will power. Then she starts crying, at this point I'm thinking this poor woman needs to get a handle on this before she has her surgery. Wow she's really in a lot of pain over this. Then she says "IM 2 YEARS OUT AND I CANT GET A GRIP ON THIS AND I'M NEARLY BACK TO MY STARTING WEIGHT"

My sympathy FLEW straight out the window, I think I gasped out loud. Here come the rant

and the High Horse again!!

Aarrrrrhhhh..ok, I'm not angry because she was back to her starting weight, it happens. I'm appalled because she DID NOT ask for help when she felt the situation was getting out of hand. What the hell!!! she shows up at a meeting when she is so beaten down and ashamed she doesn't know what to do. she says she never went for help before her surgery for her food addictions BECAUSE SHE WAS ASHAMED OF THAT!!!!..Now I thinking what Doctor/hospital allows a person to go ahead with this surgery before they are totally cleared. Then she says, she hid it from everyone. I almost exploded. Let me tell you why (riding my High Horse).

This is a body altering/life changing event. A life time commitment to that change. Why on this God given planet would one attempt such a thing without getting help first. I know its judgmental, and I am being harsh, but that's one of those "GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW" thing I'm always talking about. I had a horrible sugar addiction, I know it's a shameful secretive thing. But the opportunity to get help is encompassed and obtainable when applying for this surgery. I don't think better late, than never, applies here. Sorry Im really angry. I didn't approach her. I couldn't. Maybe at a later date if she keeps coming. Am I being to harsh & judgmental? Just need a sounding board here? maybe at a later date my compassion will return for her. To snarky on my part?

Ok..I've calmed down a bit, but I'm just sayin', if I went into this surgery BEFORE I got a grip on my sugar addiction, it horrifies me to think where'd I be now..and maybe I saw myself in her, IF I didn't get help first.

oops sorry..double posted

This post should probably be in the 'Rant' section.

So tonight I'm at my WLS support group. The subject was Food Addiction. I like this subject a lot. I over came my sugar addiction BEFORE surgery. So I'm very sympathetic to this subject. Right up until this (large)woman started talking about her lack of will power. Then she starts crying, at this point I'm thinking this poor woman needs to get a handle on this before she has her surgery. Wow she's really in a lot of pain over this. Then she says "IM 2 YEARS OUT AND I CANT GET A GRIP ON THIS AND I'M NEARLY BACK TO MY STARTING WEIGHT"

My sympathy FLEW straight out the window, I think I gasped out loud. Here come the rant

and the High Horse again!!

Aarrrrrhhhh..ok, I'm not angry because she was back to her starting weight, it happens. I'm appalled because she DID NOT ask for help when she felt the situation was getting out of hand. What the hell!!! she shows up at a meeting when she is so beaten down and ashamed she doesn't know what to do. she says she never went for help before her surgery for her food addictions BECAUSE SHE WAS ASHAMED OF THAT!!!!..Now I thinking what Doctor/hospital allows a person to go ahead with this surgery before they are totally cleared. Then she says, she hid it from everyone. I almost exploded. Let me tell you why (riding my High Horse).

This is a body altering/life changing event. A life time commitment to that change. Why on this God given planet would one attempt such a thing without getting help first. I know its judgmental, and I am being harsh, but that's one of those "GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW" thing I'm always talking about. I had a horrible sugar addiction, I know it's a shameful secretive thing. But the opportunity to get help is encompassed and obtainable when applying for this surgery. I don't think better late, than never, applies here. Sorry Im really angry. I didn't approach her. I couldn't. Maybe at a later date if she keeps coming. Am I being to harsh & judgmental? Just need a sounding board here? maybe at a later date my compassion will return for her. To snarky on my part?

Sounds like she triggered some powerful emotions. I went to my support group awhile back, and a woman snaccked on wheat thins during the entire group. I was pissed at first, but then I remembered that I couldn't judge; after all, I was sitting in the same group, one comprised of people who were morbidly obese and required major surgery to correct it. None of us got there because of good choices, and i had no business judging others because they were deeper into their food addiction than I. I do wonder how some people pass the psych evaluation. I met one girl who was bulimic and very sick, but qualified for surgery nonetheless. It has been very hard for her.

It's hard not to judge sometimes, especially when you meet people who have seemingly thrown away this gift.

Kris

A powerful story and one that perhaps has an equally powerful lesson. This journey is about control, not denial. So what would be the first sign that a bypass patient is losing control? Weight gain. More specifically, MINOR weight gain. That's the time to seek help. You won't be the first and you certainly won't be the last. For Pete's sake, seek help from your team - that's what they are there for. Losing ten pounds is nothing. Losing 100+ pounds, again, that's a very different story. The surgery can be defeated. In the words of Winston Churchill - "It is of no use saying 'We are doing the best we can'. Success means doing what is necessary."

This is a subject that hits me really close to home. I am a food addict. It takes a lot of hard work to manage that addiction and keep things straight. I can see how hard it is even with RNY to keep a steady head and balance the issues that go along and in the past have fueled my addiction. I am aware though and I try to work through them now. I worry probably more than the average wls that I will fall back and not be able to regain control. I did make the commitment that no matter what rny would work for me! I will seek any means of help I may have to maintain this new healthier weight and life. Addictions are never easy tho.

You all are so right. Thank you..I just feel an instant kinship with anyone who had this surgery. I want so much for everyone to succeed and when they have hippcups or a bump in the road of their journey, I take it personally, I want to instantly reach out and help. Gotta work on that. Its not easy, we all know that. If it were easy to lose weight and be healthy I wouldn't have had the surgery. My journey to this point has soooo not been easy. But because I wanted this soooo bad, I feel everyone else does to, and sure they do to. I have to remember we're all human, and mishaps are inevitable. Note to Self: Just work on YOU, and pray everyone else has a safe, happy and productive life. Think its time to call the psychologist, I've got to lighten up! not everyone succeeds, but I wish they could. thanx for listening to my rant, I'll try not to do it often

You all are so right. Thank you..I just feel an instant kinship with anyone who had this surgery. I want so much for everyone to succeed and when they have hippcups or a bump in the road of their journey, I take it personally, I want to instantly reach out and help. Gotta work on that. Its not easy, we all know that. If it were easy to lose weight and be healthy I wouldn't have had the surgery. My journey to this point has soooo not been easy. But because I wanted this soooo bad, I feel everyone else does to, and sure they do to. I have to remember we're all human, and mishaps are inevitable. Note to Self: Just work on YOU, and pray everyone else has a safe, happy and productive life. Think its time to call the psychologist, I've got to lighten up! not everyone succeeds, but I wish they could. thanx for listening to my rant, I'll try not to do it often

This is a perfect place to rant, get ideas, sound things out, get different takes on things. Nothing wrong with that.

I have to admit, I would have been very frustrated at this situation as well. She's only 2 years out and has already regained her weight back? That takes a MAJOR food addiction and perhaps a soda/milk shade addiction because of the massive restriction we as WLS patients have. At 2 years out in about 2 weeks, I would have had to work really hard at eating to gain back all my weight. I mean eating every 10-15 minutes of pure junk. Of course I bet it would have been pretty easy to gain back my weight if I were drinking milkshakes all day. I have to admit, I would have been pretty shocked like you. And I absolutely agree she should have seeked help sooner. But I think what I would have realized here is that her addiction is beyond anything I've ever encountered and her feelings of shame probably run very very deep. She very well could have been too ashamed to admit her issues in a way we could never understand. I hope she gets help and keeps coming back to group. I've heard of people regaining their weight back to starting at 5-10 years out but I've never heard of someone gaining their weight back by 2 years out.

Edited January 18, 201412 yr by Sleeved&Hopeful

She did say ALMOST..so who knows..but help is always just a hand length away was my point. I soooo hope support group help her.

I need some help here, I have lost 150 lbs so far, I am 2 years out and I feel like my mind is slipping back to the old me. I am afraid I will gain the weight back. I bounce between 5 lbs weekly and gradually lose a pound or so every couple of months. I feel like I'm at a stand still right now which is disheartening. Pre op I had had problems with portion size, and now eat more than I could when I first had the surgery which is frightening to me. I also like chocolate more than I did pre op, I don't eat a lot at a setting but I'm afraid that is changing also. I don't know what to do. I can see how people lose control, and don't want to end up gaining any of the weight back. I truly need some help.

I need some help here, I have lost 150 lbs so far, I am 2 years out and I feel like my mind is slipping back to the old me. I am afraid I will gain the weight back. I bounce between 5 lbs weekly and gradually lose a pound or so every couple of months. I feel like I'm at a stand still right now which is disheartening. Pre op I had had problems with portion size, and now eat more than I could when I first had the surgery which is frightening to me. I also like chocolate more than I did pre op, I don't eat a lot at a setting but I'm afraid that is changing also. I don't know what to do. I can see how people lose control, and don't want to end up gaining any of the weight back. I truly need some help.

food logs are ALL about control. And confidence. And accountability. And understanding the effects of what you eat will have on your weight. Whether you want to lose weight, maintain or gain weight (it does happen), logging works exactly the same way. I've been logging with My Fitness Pal for over two years. It's easy, it's fast, it doesn't cost you a dime and logs are the single most powerful post-op tool that you can have in your arsenal. If you're interested, post here or PM me and I'd be happy to share some logging tips!

Welcome to the forum and a huge thumbs up for reaching out before you've gained any weight!! Help and support is at your fingertips and we're glad to have you join us!!

Thank you, I know you are right, I have made some changes and that is one thing I have always hated, I have always hated exercising also but have changed in that aspect and even enjoy exercising now. So, I will listen and start keeping track of my intake. I would appreciate a any tips you can offer.

Edited January 22, 201412 yr by lucilou