K so I have been with my hubs for 13 years.. He's an awesome man who treats me like a queen. My mom is a meddler... She calls all day, texts, blows up every line I have, just to ask me a silly question. She has moved in twice and it's always ended disastrously.. She meddles in our home loans, how we raise our kids and has moved back and forth from California to Oregon more times than I can count which irritates me cause our kids get bummed and she does not seen to care. She recently moved 6 houses down from us and has been just showing up whenever she feels like it. I have asked her to call first but she keeps doing it. She even saw my son walking to school one morning and picked him up and took him to school and did not let us know till way later which kind of pissed us both off. We like to know where he is and feel she should have asked first...

My husband who is really passive and easy going has hit his breaking point. He does not even like seeing her anymore. So he told me he was gonna go off on her and I said no let me talk to her calmly. So I did. I simply told her that she has boundaries that need to be respected and she cannot meddle or show up anymore. She FLIPPED OUT on me. Cussed me out and called my husband every name in the book. Then said that she won't come around ever again until I divorce him. Told me she knows he does not like her and that she's done with is. I tried telling her that all she needs to Sonia call before she comes over but she was too far gone by that time.

I feel guilty, but we have had enough.... I don't know what to do.... Advice?

Do not reply

Ok so today I got home from 10 hours at work to a bag on my front porch.. I walk up to it squinting to make out what's in it and as I pick it up I notice it's the blanket I got her for Christmas. I'm like... Wth? Inside is everything I got her for Christmas!!!!!! Her bracelet, blankie, pillow and cool razor..... I was shocked!!! I came inside and went straight to my room and started sobbing..... I picked myself up for a moment to text her. I say, "why did you return your Christmas gifts? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She replies, "oh that was three days ago it was stupid of me" so I ask my husband I he noticed it and he said no and then my 11 year old an he's all, "I saw it there Monday but forgot to tell you." I don't come in the front door I always come and go through the garage cause I park in there so I never saw it!!" I told her that it's fucked up and thanks to her in sobbing! She replies, "don't cry it was meant to mean that all I want is your love not monitory things" I never replied and I won't... I'm speechless......

Another form of manipulation. Preying on your emotions. I'd just scoot the bag out of the way. Once she stops trying to control you and calms down she's gonna want her gifts back.

Edited January 16, 201412 yr by superfatty

Wow that is incredibly sad that she would stoop to that. This so reminds me of an alcoholic that never grew up and progressed and lashes out like an adolescent.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

You need to stay strong. DO NOT REACT TO HER. That is what she is looking for. It's going to be hard but If you want a different relationship with her, you will have to be the one to make the change. It won't be easy but it will be worth it in the end.

A good response is always, "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Keep strong and don't respond when you are upset. It feeds the beast that is her need for attention.

Thanks everyone...