Fell Off the Wagon...How do I get re-started?

[gowalking 10,790]

Omg, this is getting exciting here. After almost 4 years with the band, I need support. I don't like my feeling of needing at all. But I am a human too.

I have really good excuses, changes of meds, not exercising because of a lot of leg surgeries . Feeling down a lot cause the scale isn't my pal as it was before. Lack of support, let down from a band group set up by me and my friend. A cold for 5 weeks. Oh yes blah, blah, blah,

But did I neglect to tell you that, while making Cookies for friends, I licked my fingers? I found some chocolate walking into my mouth. I bought some expensive cheese and ate crackers with it? Have been doing carbs and seeing how they really are not my friends. I see myself looking around the house searching for more carbs. I even think that I know it's wrong and I do it anyway. I am in trouble here.

My smaller clothes still fit but I have gained about 15 lbs. I am in trouble because I have no support system, ( that's how I feel right now) I never really had a supportive Dr. Or a Dr's office staff that helped. I had to do this all by myself. My wonderful husband was the only support system I had. I think he gave up, he also is 4 years older and has some health issues to work through.

Oh, he just said that he didn't give up on me. Merry Christmas to me.

So after all that talking, I want to to admit here I am.

I am a person who does a lot of research, I belong to many groups.

I am best friends with a gal from London who lost a lot of weight with the lapband, and we are going to get our excess weight off.

First thing I am going to do is always start my good choices in the morning because by the afternoon, I have really set the stage for failure.

I am going to make room for me to exercise on my Gazzele, and no more stupid EXCUSES. and all that chocolate that I keep in this fancy box will stay there. And those Biscottis that I take to the bedroom by 4 at a time to shovel in my mouth will stay there too in the nice cookie jar. I am going to really watch my amounts of food that I put on my plate. DARN IT ALL, I KNOW BETTER.

Don't I ? I AM GOING TO END THIS. I DO WANT TO LET YOU KNOW HOW PROUD I WAS TO BE IN THE "" LAPBAND TALK BOOK "" THAT WAS WRITTEN BY OUR ALEX. I was Ilene from Fla and Ny. I hope that all of you have it in your home. It was well written.

So finally, who is with me? Who is for me? Who is FOR THEMSELVES.?

Let's all talk about what we are going to do about it, let's give ourselves a special Christmas gift that only we can do for ourselves.....hugs and love.

Ilene.

Thanks for posting your struggle Ilene. I really appreciate it because like many others I suspect, this is my fear...that the 'thrill' of losing the weight will eventually wear off, and the old yearnings will be harder to say no to. It helps to know that a real vet like you can recognize a bump in the road and make the decision to get back on course. I know that I have to listen to the band...it's not automatic with me in terms of stopping and I do worry about letting quantity sneak back in or poor food choices overtake me again. It's funny...I have some holiday Cookies and chocolate in my fridge at the moment but am so fearful that if I even taste either of these items, I'll open a Pandora's box. Yet, I have dessert when I'm out to dinner. I can take a few spoon or forkfuls and it satisfies. Like many addicts, it's the 'secret' eating alone in the house that I worry about most. Once an addict, always an addict I say.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Go back to basics as if you just had surgery. Do a couple days of Clear Liquids then full liquids then back to eating only Protein and good carbs. You have detox from the sugar and day three and four may be hell with a headache but you can get through it. For those that think a fill will help it will not. chocolate doesn't care how tight your band is it will still slip through. No fill will help with that. You have to help that.

[Cindysmom (Ilene) 130]

How about if we all put our heads together and creat a plan of action. . There is always someone who says something to inspire some one else.

[Cindysmom (Ilene) 130]

Oh I saw those buggers on the bad food. And I found some food ants there too. I need a good laugh any time I can get it

[lisacaron 5,075]

Wonderful post! Sometimes I get so busy I don't have the time to read or reply, and then I kick myself because I lose touch with myself also when that happens.

The holiday season (when isn't it a holiday?) is not the easiest time for so many people and for those of us that are banded it's even harder I think.

Everyone is walking around with sweets and delicious holiday fare offering to share, oh how nice they are. I have been able to be pretty good...when one of the bosses made her homemade butter toffee I couldn't say no. That would have been rude to do, I took a piece and my boss took a piece. He devoured his and mine is still sitting next to me. Not on the menu he asked? and I was honest. There is nothing that I can't eat I told him. I could eat the toffee no problem but I just finished my Breakfast Protein bar about half an hour before and I honestly am not hungry.

It was true, I am not hungry. It is now lunch time around 1pm and I am hungry now. However, I still don't want that toffee. It's right here all buttery and crunchy and full of sugar and chocolate topping with walnuts. Looks amazing I'm sure it tastes even better but instead I am eating the minute steak leftovers I brought in for lunch today.

I'm getting in my Protein. I won't say that later this afternoon I might not eat that toffee. I might just have a bite or two or finish the piece, but unless I really want it. I won't eat it. I may take a bite to say that was very good Liz thank you for making that and sharing it with us, but that will be it.

I am not good like that all the time. When I have a craving I eat what it is I want. Yesterday it was chocolate covered pretzels. I had a few of them, then a few more later that night. I didn't feel guilty I felt happy. I had what I wanted, and I didn't eat the whole bag. I didn't snack outside of that.

Every morning as I get ready for work or wake up on the weekend I have to re-commit myself to my band and my journey to lose weight. I have to think about it and make a conscious decision for myself to try and stay on target. Sometimes I slip, and there are always people around with something to lead me astray...when I was first banded it was harder then it is today. Though there are days when I have been on point for so long a little slip feels OK but I know it's a slippery slope that I don't really want to be on!!!

I'd like to be able to start committing time to moving more and getting a regular exercise program in that is a goal for me, but still a work in progress.....

[Kathy =^..^= 12]

Thanks Everyone for all the great replies! Sometimes the answer is hard to hear. I guess I was feeling guilty and needed to "vent." I needed someone to tell me that all is not lost, that all I have to do IS to start over.

It started out with just one candy bar. I ate the whole thing. Candy had never been a problem for me before. But all of a sudden, at least it seemed like all of a sudden, I'm eating a candy bar or two a day. It seems like I can't quit.

So, I'm going to take all of y'all's advice. I'm gonna get me a notebook and I'm gonna start out each day and re-commit to doing better for myself. I'm gonna write down my plans and goals for the day and then write down what I ate for the day. I'm gonna re-commit to eating my Protein first. I'm gonna call my weight center and make an appointment to go talk to someone there and tell them what I've done and ask for their help, as well.

I had lost 36lbs but I've gained back about 10lbs. The one thing that I had not done at all was to exercise. Now that it's cooler, here in the deep south, I'm gonna make myself get out and walk.

Thanks, again, for all the great comments. I do believe I'm feeling a little better about myself and now have a little bit of desire and courage to get back on track.

Merry Christmas, everyone, and I hope y'all have a Happy and Healthy New Year!!!

Kathy =^..^=

[kll724 3,055]

You sound like you are recommitting to your own success! Best wishes, for a Happy New Year!

[jennybean 175]

You can take a page out of a sleevers book and do a diet reset. Start over like you just had surgery, log everything just as you did before. It'll take a couple weeks without bad carbs for those cravings to go away.

Unfortunately white carbs create a chemical reaction in your system that causes you to crave more of them. I've had to reset a couple times in the past couple years. It isn't easy, but if I can do it, you can too.

Banded people have a "Reset" also....I do it about every 6 weeks or so, but just for a few days....does put everything back to that "New" feeling....

The problem with banded people though, is that the band is adjustable...and after surgery we have to go through a series of adjustments to get to that place were the band and process begins to work optimally....

You have to be at a certain place, in order for that reset to return you to that place....but a reset is not going to get us to a place where we were never at in the first place....

When many people have complaints, etc, with the band....the first concern is whether or not you have the band fully adjusted to where it should be....it can take months, and many people NEVER get there....BIGGEST negative to the band, IMO, is that it is left to the individual where they want it adjusted...then turn around and say it's not doing anything....

The sleeve on the other hand....much to it's credit, is that it is installed and then that's it...(sort of)..you can't adjustment up or down...it just is....

B-52, what do you do for the "reset"?

[Cindysmom (Ilene) 130]

Ok its me again. Today, I didn't have any food that has carbs. I call them no no foods. It is 7:30 and I am still full. I am not looking for food at all. I also weighed myself and from the morning until now I am up about 6 ounces. And I am fully dressed.

I read somewhere that if we do lots of carbs for the day. The scale at the end of the day will be quite high. So today it proved to me that it is true.

Would any one want to have a one thing resolution list? I think we would see that we are all the same..

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Carbs have nothing to do with the scale being higher. It's either Water retention or because you ate. The theory to the scale is if you weigh the same at night as you do in the morning then you lost weight. But in order for that to be accurate you have to weigh with the same things on or off. Your best bet is to weigh yourself nude.

[Cindysmom (Ilene) 130]

Oh thanks for your response, that is a interesting thought. I like the word lose there. I am gonna test the waters again.

Does anyone recall an old tv program with Mary Tyler Moore and Rhoda?

It seems that Rhoda was upset and was at Mary's. Sweet Mary offered her some cottage cheese. That Rhoda gave her some look. I guess she wanted chocolate. Regarding our cravings, have we ever craved cottage cheese, broccoli, carrots, lettuce ? It's the carbs we mostly crave. carbs are just like a drug. What are your thoughts on this? Friends?

[Cindysmom (Ilene) 130]

Holy cow Cheryl we are just about neighbors. I live in Tamarac.

Howdy neighbor,

[justfoundthisboard 25]

i am with you!!

[Karina150 34]

Better to go see the doctor with a 10 lb gain than 20 or 30 or more! The best thing is that you want to start again and know where to go to make that happen. Humans have set backs and being realistic is knowing when to move forward and make changes for the best!

[Gpsteph 1]

Fear of failure or critisim and shame are powerful tools that sabotage us. It's likely the reason why many of us comfort ourselves in different ways. food, alcohol, sex, religion or other substances and activities help distract us or let us escape from those feelings. Sadly, some of the ways we can self medicate have negative affects.

Maybe if you start your conversation by telling the drs that you're afraid they'll chastise you, it will help them understand. Remember that they've likely had other patients who've experienced this come to seek help. I hope any dr who helps people who are over weight realizes that weight gain is not a cause, it's an effect. That's seems like a simpe concept and I'm not a dr. You need to be helped, not scolded or told by your Dr or from some Dudley do right on their own journey who loves to feel so enlightend by stating the obvious (ex: "You have to stop eating the white chocolate.").

I've had the band for seven years now and I understand now that it's not the biggest resason I lost weight. I lost nearly half my weight going from 289 lbs to 148 lbs, went up to a more comfortable weight of 165lbs after being told I looked sick and now I'm up to 180lbs. I was freaking out over the fear of getting huge again. For me that was a hellish prison. I'm a bit older now and maybe my motivation isn't as fired up as it used to be but I thought maybe by going to the gym and joining this site it will help trigger some reaction. "For every action theres a reaction", right?

Your fear or shame may be the real problem here so don't beat yourself up. It sounds like the time I had to climb this really tall ladder. I stood at the bottom of it for quite some time, staring at the top of it thinking "how the heck is my foot going to

reach that high up?". After feeling very nervous and thinking it might be easier not to bother trying at all, I looked down and saw the first step. It was only a small step up but it got me closer than staying still. That's obviously a fictional storey and simpler compared to what we are really dealing with but things can only get better if you do something, even a small thing. Actually, you already made your first step by posting the problem and you may have helped someone else who can relate to you..... like me!