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Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters



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Haydee and Jennifur: this is my $.02 on the bf issue.(truly I don't mean to sound harsh in the written word..know that I say this out of concern and experience).... you have your answers but you guys are both waiting for the answer to change. Both of you are being used. They both know they are loved enough to want a commitment, but they are stringing you along and not returning the same love..and the fact that Haydee you have waited to have kids... STOP waiting on him.

All the years you both have vested in the relationships have been your crutch of security but it is not secure.. it is a false sense of security and one that you NO LONGER NEED. You are both STRONG, INDEPENDANT WOMEN who have made a choice to take this big WLS step... it is JUST THE BEGINNING!!!!!!! and watch out world... we have two single hotties on the horizon! You don't need the emotional baggage that is tied to the dbfs.

LIFE IS SHORT GIRLFRIENDS! TIME TO LIVE IT!

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Cassenova Mom... I love it!!

Of all the things a vp would call a parent about.. I'd say this one was very mild. And congrats for doing exercise instead of sucking on a pizza!!:clap2:

Can't wait to hear your son's explanation when he gets home. You WILL share, won't you?? Just don't tell him all his purple tighted Aunties are waiting to hear the details.. :(

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Cassenova Mom - well kissing is a passage, bet it isn't the first time, better have an obligatory birds n bees lecture, just so he can roll his eyes because he knows it all. It sounds like the girl was very willing too. Chuckling here in Denver, I've raised two sons who are 19 now. I told my guys they needed signed consent before any sex, just to cover their tushes. It's a different world today with litigation, but the kids are still innocents.

I agree with Teachlady, this is a mild offense and really pretty adorable.

I taught in the middle school for 31 years and you can't believe the stuff I've seen.

Violets have a great Friday!

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You both are BEAUTIFUL...I've read what you write and know that you both are beautiful inside and out.

Now...I'm going to be really blunt.

Ask yourselves what your boyfriends get out of the arrangement.

do you cook, clean, take care of him? help with the money? be a bedmate? Love him and want to marriage him?

NOW..what do you get and WANT..a man that takes all of this from a woman ..and doesn't marry that woman is a selfish man. Please do NOT waste another moment of your percious lives on such a man.

If this man LOVED you he would have jumped at the change to marry you. This has NOTHING to do with you..only that you have somehow hitched on to something that only takes and never gives.

Each of you are getting stronger in who you are...please, please don't waste your lives with such a person.

Hugs, Hugs, Hugs...

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I am so proud of myself right now...... I stayed in for lunch trying to get this report done... I heated two slices of meat loaf up since it has been the only thing I've eaten today and I was so hungry I almost launched right into OLD TRACY behaviour.. (shoveling it in fast) I took a couple big fast bites and realized what I was doing.. I then sat down the fork and took a BIG CLEANSING breath.. took my time and stopped before I even finished the first piece... (I can not bring myself to throw it away... yet, but I PROMISE I'm working up the courage) for those somewhat new to the thread...... I have a HORRIBLE time wasting food! LOL Our mentor Kat from the april 06rs said it ...... "either you waste it or it goes to your WAIST!" This phrase literally sticks in my head when faced with throwing away perfectly good food... mine, kids, dbf.........

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Dear All,

A BIG HELLO!! I have missed posting this week, I popped on quickly yesterday, so Ive missed all of everyones updates!!

Well this week has been a roller coaster ride to say the least!!

Ok, Monday started rather badly, getting in the shower at 5am and forgetting the hot Water doesnt kick in till 6am didnt help, then my car windscreen wipers gave up the ghost 6 miles down the road so I had to wake my poor mother up at 6am to borrow her car to get to Surrey (near London) for the exam! The exam was hard guys :think I missed out 25 questions on paper 3 as I over analysed most of them and time ran out, the afternoon papers werent so bad, but I still couldnt answer the drug questions as I didnt study those in depth except for the A&P. Its a pharmaceutical exam, and as work as a project/programme manager in health sites it wasnt really relevant to me, but I am paid and employed by a pharma company hence I had to take the exam...sorry now I have verbal whaffle!!

Anyway on the Tuesday I was up at 5am again, in mums car yet again bless her, and I phoned the office, to let them know of the problems etc and they started to have a 'go' because my mums car wasnt insured for buisness...I just broke down, it was so embarrasing, next thing I know I have the head boss phoning me up etc....oooo gawwwddd, anyway I thought I was losing it as I started getting panicky feelings (like a pre set of a panic attack) so mum went out n bought me St Johns Wort (like a herbal calming pill) Oil of Primrose (for PMT) she has been so kind to me over this last week.

Anyway Wed & Thursday I was working away, today Ive had a lovely day, and its Friday, so I can put all my troubles behind me now! I know I'll have to take the ruddy exam again, but thats lifes little ups and downs for ya!

Well, Laura, I must say I saw the link you put in that your going to have your wedding reception, its absolutly gorgeous!! If I lived nearer Id be outside the church/venue and get my confetti ready!

Kat, I hope you and hubby are ok, I read that hes going to have an op to put things right, so I pray that that will make him better, and you will both be happy and healthy.

Pam, you have been in my thoughts, how are you?

Take care everyone, sorry about all of my whaffle!

Loves ya all!

Sara xxxxxxx

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Sara's Back!!! Good to "read" you again. We missed you. Congrats on having all the "work" behind you. As for the supersizedwomeninlavendertights, we are all hanging in.

I love reading the fill stories, and I have a dumb question: What exactly is fluro? I think I know, but want to make sure.

Ok, for Jennifer and Haydee: I have copied something for you to read at your convienence. It is the words to a song that has been powerful to me in many different areas of my life. It is on the Jagged Little Pill album by Alanis Morissette.

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=728 align=center bgColor=#bbbbcc border=0><TBODY><TR><TD><TABLE cellSpacing=2 cellPadding=2 width="100%" align=center bgColor=#bbbbcc border=0><TBODY><TR><TD vAlign=top align=middle width="100%">I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours

I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey

Hidden in the bottom drawer

I don't want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine

Lend me some fresh air

I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you

I don't want to be your babysitter

You're a very big boy now

I don't want to be your mother

I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months

Show me the back door

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6

Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh

Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom

You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon

And I don't want to be your other half, I believe that 1 and 1 make 2

I don't want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face

At midnight, hey

What are you hungry for

I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together

I don't want to be your idol

See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights

I don't want to be lived through

A vicarious occasion

Please open the window

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6

Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh

Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom

You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to live on someday when my motto is last week

I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart

And it's wounded beat

I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling

What do you thank me

What do you thank me for

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6

Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh

Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom

You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD align=middle>

<SCRIPT language=javascript src="http://images.azlyrics.com/bot_pop.js"></SCRIPT><SCRIPT type=text/javascript><!--google_ad_client = "pub-0306128000163392";google_ad_width = 728;google_ad_height = 90;google_ad_format = "728x90_as";google_ad_type = "text_image";//2006-11-04: azlyrics 728 botgoogle_ad_channel = "1698371283";google_color_border = "BBBBCC";google_color_bg = "BBBBCC";google_color_link = "0000FF";google_color_text = "000000";google_color_url = "888888";//--></SCRIPT><SCRIPT src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js" type=text/javascript></SCRIPT></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Sorry for taking up so much space...have a great day!

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Hey, those adds just showed up, I did not post them. That is weird.

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Hi everyone! Welcome back Sara!! It is good to see you on and thank god it is FRIDAY!! I can say that since I called in sick today to get my fill.

Ok about my fill........ i must be like a big vaccum since I took 2.7cc's can you believe that? My first fill. He was having me drink Water out of a dixie cup and kept asking if i was feeling tight yet? Nope, not yet I kept saying, it was going down just fine. Finally three cups later I FELT IT!! Horay! A tight feeling. Does this mean I am going to lose some weight now, I ask my Dr. and he just laughs. He said can you feel it going down and I said yes so he said I think you are a bit on the tight side... i told him to leave it. I would be happy if he could just help me starve myself....... anyway I ate some lunch and drank some water. Didn't feel too tight. Felt ok, I can feel a little difference. I hope my band is ok I swear 2.7cc's seems like a lot to me....... but what the heck do i know.

Now Haydee and Jennifer:

Quit giving it away to these users for free! They are not worthy of your time, or your love. Pretty soon the men will be lining up and you can tell these jerks good ridence!

Cassenova's Mom,

That is so cute! I hate when our kids grow up. I have felt the same way and have had a hard time since my oldest moved out...... wait for that moment. I still have a hard time believeing she is turning 20 in June! Boo hoo!

TracyinKS,

Congrats on the meatloaf. I keep trying to remind myself to slow down as well!

LET THE POUNDS FALL OFF -- IT IS ON NOW!!

has anyone else had a big fill like mine?

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Angie...that is A LOT compared to reading other peoples fill...I hope the weight starts falling off now for you...Did you get any post filling instructions on what to eat or what not to eat?

I am loving the loose clothes and skinnier facial features that I am having...sometimes I THINK I am skinnier that I actually am, and when I get a look in the mirror I am horrified that I am that fat still....I hope that mentality sticks with me forever...It helps with self esteem to THINK you are skinnier than you are...hubby can get arms around me and touch his elbows with his opposite hands....we are definitely improving here in Idaho...Talk to ya all later...thanks for all the updates on the fills. I am going to take my camera and see if the nurse will let me take pictures...that might be interesting for those who are soon to be filled...she probably wont let me...but I cant always try...Deanna

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Hello all! I am now at home. I did throw away the meatloaf and now I'm trying to decide what ds and I are having for dinner. DBF went solo to go pick up his boys... (we were both a bit testy when I got home, and I just told him to go rather than us pick at each other for being late.

I also did a really hard thing today........ I ended up spilling the Beans about my surgery to the TOP benefits people at Corporate. REASON? Because I started getting my bills and I noticed that the OUT of Pocket Max was showing about 2 THOUSAND dollars more than what it was supposed to. I called BCBS customer service yesterday and they had all the wrong amounts reflected in their system.. the rep was taking it to her manager, and I called our head hauncho benefit guy to give him a heads up. This morning I had a voicemail from his assistant wanting to know if I could fax her my EOB's so she could see what what going on, but mid message she realized that it was personal info and recanted her request... I thought about it and decided for the greater good, I would share my experiences and findings so I emailed all 4 of my EOB's which detailed my surgery and lab work and Surgeons name.... We shall see how they take it, after all they are the HEAD of the BAC (Benefits Administration Committee) THEY are responsible for ALLOWING BCBS to cover my band........ could be interesting.

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Hi Purple Gurlz- Hope you all had a good Friday! I had the day off today and spent mid-day helping my elderly mom run a couple of errands. Well, I didn't have time for Breakfast so by lunchtime I was starving! Mumsey wanted a burger and I was so hungry I just agreed to 'whatever'. I haven't had much restriction that I could tell for the last week or so, so I figured a burger, eaten slowly, will be OK. ***WRONG!!!*** I took two bites quickly and then experienced immediate PAIN!!! Well, my mom doesn't know I was banded, and I had just been talking about how hungry I was....so now what was I to do?? At least I did have the sense (thanks to this board) to stop eating immediately, not to drink anything and just wait it out. I made the excuse that I must be having an esophogeal spasm of some sort...that it's happened before...and I got up to walk around outside. I was soooooooo close to PBing...I could feel that all I had to do was will the food to come up and it would have, but I didn't want to dothat. I toughed it out...and then I 'slimed' for just a little while....so now I know what both of those things are all about, but I stopped eating in time so that it wasn't uncontrollable. Thank God!! Now I can't hardly eat solid food anymore...so I'll go back on mushies for a day or two. bread is obviously a HUGE no-no for me, but I can have tortillas, crackers and Pizza Crust :rolleyes. But I tell you what, you PB once and you don't ever want to do it again!!! I'm glad I have had the experience now....and I'll be much, much more careful in the future!

The big lesson here is:

1) if you start to feel a big golf-ball feeling iin your chest, STOP eating and don't start again until the pain goes away.

2) If you start eating again and the pain returns, WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE EATING ...STOP EATING IT IMMEDIATELY.

3) Do not drink anything...it will make it worse.

4) Get up and walk around, stretch your arms, take deep breaths....anything and everything to get that stuff moving down.

5) From there on out be very careful about eating...tiny bites, well chewed.

Yikes.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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