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So, I started telling people at work about my surgery. I tell a doctor\work friend, who also struggles with weight, and this is his reply: (Starts out awkward, ends with a bang.)

"So you are literally going to be a fraction of yourself? Good for you! I had to lose weight, but I DID IT THE HARD WAY--diet and exercise."

Seriously?! RNY is EASY?!?!?

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with all of the pain i go through, RNY is definitely not easy in any way. but i sure am glad that it exists. RNY will make diet and exercise more effective.

wishing everyone the best of success!

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In the beginning I only told a few people and it was great. Just recently I have informed everyone and I have been getting mixed reviews especially from one of my best girlfriends. It is heart breaking but you know that making a decision like this is probably the hardest thing we can do. This isn't something we can decide to do and in the end just forget that we had this done. Shame on him for starting out positive and ending like he did. I am proud of you for taking the steps to make a better you and a more healthy you :D

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Thank you! I have had mostly supportive reactions. I just thought this was an interesting reaction, especially coming from a psychiatrist.

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I told my best friend that I was gonna have surgery and her response was " I've never not seen you as a big girl. I don't know what I'm gonna think of you as not fat". Than she proceeded to tell me that when I was pregnant that I didn't look pregnant.just looked really fat

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I told my best friend that I was gonna have surgery and her response was " I've never not seen you as a big girl. I don't know what I'm gonna think of you as not fat". Than she proceeded to tell me that when I was pregnant that I didn't look pregnant.just looked really fat

Wow! What a friend.

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People say the stupidiest stuff. And yes coming from someone in the medical field coupled with having struggles of their own you would think that it would be a person who could encourage you and give you advice, not dismissing what you have done as the EASY way. Makes my blood boil. Because this isn't easy. There is not one dag gone thing easy about this. From the beginning with just checking it out and making the decision to jumping through the hoops and waiting and hoping to be approved and then preparing for the surgery. Most people who depend just on diet and exercise have already stopped and started a new diet or exercise program in the length of time it takes us to get surgery. Then there is the surgery and the recuperation and the trying to drink and eat and get Vitamins in and pain. Add in the emotional and hormonal changes. EASY. If this is easy I sure would hate to see what hard is.

And to the friend who really doesn't get it and said something so rude as I have never known you as not fat, I want to slap her. Ok stepping down from my soapbox. Big Hugs to all of us. Cause we need all the encouragement we can give each other. Because I am convinced no one understands like each of us what we are going through.

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It's all so bizarre to me. The ones that say this is he easy way are the same ones usually that say oh my "friend of a friend" had this done and it didn't work they gained all there weight back. Well if it was so darn easy then why didn't it work??? Ugh

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I think we look at it as a tool to help us, where those that are not considering WLS surgery just believe that we will eat smaller amounts of whatever we want and everything will be fine. They have no concept of what actually happens.

As soon as I am healed from this surgery, I will be having a very serious hip revision surgery. So serious, that my surgeon and his partner cancelled it the day of surgery saying that it needs to be done in a larger hospital with full access to all types of equipment. I had an appointment with the new ortho doc on 1/8 but as my RNY is now 1/4, I rescheduled for 3/1 to schedule the hip revision. I am hoping whatever weight I have lost by the time of that surgery will make it easier on me and the docs. Any surgery is complicated by obesity and I am doing this for my health, not my looks. I am 60-years-old and that simply does not matter anymore! :)

People can say the darndest things, but we KNOW what we are really undertaking.

Being thankful for RNYTalk and Obesityhelp for my only outside support! :wub:

Blessings!

Lynn

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I told my best friend that I was gonna have surgery and her response was " I've never not seen you as a big girl. I don't know what I'm gonna think of you as not fat". Than she proceeded to tell me that when I was pregnant that I didn't look pregnant.just looked really fat

Yeah...not nice! Good Riddance.

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People say the stupidiest stuff. And yes coming from someone in the medical field coupled with having struggles of their own you would think that it would be a person who could encourage you and give you advice' date=' not dismissing what you have done as the EASY way. Makes my blood boil. Because this isn't easy. There is not one dag gone thing easy about this. From the beginning with just checking it out and making the decision to jumping through the hoops and waiting and hoping to be approved and then preparing for the surgery. Most people who depend just on diet and exercise have already stopped and started a new diet or exercise program in the length of time it takes us to get surgery. Then there is the surgery and the recuperation and the trying to drink and eat and get Vitamins in and pain. Add in the emotional and hormonal changes. EASY. If this is easy I sure would hate to see what hard is.

And to the friend who really doesn't get it and said something so rude as I have never known you as not fat, I want to slap her. Ok stepping down from my soapbox. Big Hugs to all of us. Cause we need all the encouragement we can give each other. Because I am convinced no one understands like each of us what we are going through.[/quote']

Well said...

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I don't think a lot of people truly understand what this surgery is and does. I have been very open about my surgery to people, and when people ask was the surgery hard I always say no the actual surgery was easy it has been after that has been so hard. Then they ask is it because you can't eat like you used to, and I say no not really. I am never hungry and eating is not a big deal anymore, but the mental side of things of been very hard. They usually look at me very confused and I explain that eating is mainly in your head. My head still think my stomach is normal, and trying to get over that has been the hardest thing I have ever done. You never really realize how much food is shoved down our throats in advertising. Two days after surgery and seeing someone on tv eating a pizza which is what I wanted so bad was pure torture. You have arguments with you mind and stomach. I have let the mind win a few times and my stomach always fought back by making me sick. It is a daily struggle and not something you can just turn off.

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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