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My parents worry too much and my husband doesn't support my choice in having surgery. So I'm left with a mission impossible... I'm not telling them when my surgery date is and I'm going to have a friend take me. I feel so alone and the worst part is that I LOVE to inform people about what's going on with me, so keeping it a secret is definitly going to be hard. :/

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Dont keep it a secret! Just tell them this is your decision and whats best for you. tell them you need thier support during this life changing time. we need all the support we can get thru this, esp from our close family. idk what i would do without my husband and mothers support thru this.

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Oh I'm so sorry! I told my mom only a short time before. So far she's been ok. I'm not telling people at work. What are you going to go after?? Good luck.

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I let my daughter son and close friends know as I was moving thru the preop process. My mom and sister are serious worry warts. I called them the night before surgery and told them,I expected some attempt to discourage me. I was shocked how supportive they have been, Besides a nightly phone call from each of them

My son (25) is still not happy with my decision so he just doesnt discuss it. Though he did come to the hospital 2x's a day and brought flowers from him and his roommates ( but I think they shamed him into it).

You will need the support of the people closest to you.

I had to spend a LONG time educating my husband on how my life will/has changed.And why I made this decision. He fall back answer is I love you no matter what you weigh.

This board is a good source of support for all stages of your prep and recovery.

Best wishes for your surgery and recovery.

CMP

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Omg Connie I'm in the same boat. My parents worry when o go to the dentist., my husband is not for this. Il going it pretty much alone. Thankfully my husband is starting to come around. But other then that no one knows

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Awww honey, I'm sorry you feel this way, but please do tell someone, as much as this is physical its also mental.

We are all family here and will love and support you no matter what.

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No keep it a secret u can call them on ur way to the hospital. I've learned over the last 5 years family can ruin things and u are the one left suffering. Don't be alone be happy and u have ur friend. Don't let them ruin this time for u. I have ny surgery on 11/28 and I'm texting my sisters and calling my mom when I get to the hospital. Bc i let them dictate my decision and now I am left heavier and more miserable. So thank God this time my hubby is supportive but I swear I could care less at this point. No one matters but me.

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I wish I would had kept it a secret but who would had watch my 3 kids? The reason why I say thus is cuz every so often I get the "you need to throw up" you can't eat what you want. Are you sure you can have a piece of candy.< /p>

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Do u have a good friend someone who can help with the kids that won't spread ur business.

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My Mom passed this past Christmas but I am telling you I wouldn't have wanted to tell her. She was the perfect person to make everything about her. She would have drove me nuts. And it is kind of sad cause you know when you are sick and not feeling good sometimes you want your "mommy" and that was always sad that I couldn't depend on her for "ME" I always had to protect her from worrying or protect myself from her . Very hard to explain,

And even now waiting to have the revision from the band to the RNY, you hate to talk about it to people, cause they say things like "you had that there band thing and that didn't work did it?" ya da ya da ya da.

Tell those that you know will support you and be there to put a cool cloth on your head that is what you need.

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My Mom passed this past Christmas but I am telling you I wouldn't have wanted to tell her. She was the perfect person to make everything about her. She would have drove me nuts. And it is kind of sad cause you know when you are sick and not feeling good sometimes you want your "mommy" and that was always sad that I couldn't depend on her for "ME" I always had to protect her from worrying or protect myself from her . Very hard to explain' date='

And even now waiting to have the revision from the band to the RNY, you hate to talk about it to people, cause they say things like "you had that there band thing and that didn't work did it?" ya da ya da ya da.

Tell those that you know will support you and be there to put a cool cloth on your head that is what you need.[/quote']

I understand what your talking about.

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thanks mamio, it is weird and so nice to know somebody understands.

Hugs to you and your crew today,

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thanks mamio' date=' it is weird and so nice to know somebody understands.

Hugs to you and your crew today,[/quote']

Thanks :) I'm at stall this week but maybe next week will be the breaking point. Only 5 more pounds to go.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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