I cannot diet. I never have been able to--the minute I impose restrictions on what I can eat, or how much, I immediately have cravings I am unable to beat. It's been this way for years and years and the only way I was able to maintain my weight (high though it was) was to throw off the chains of self-denial.

Well, I thought all that was behind me since now I have my lovely band to help control the impulses to eat whatever and whenever. And for a year I've been doing great, listening to my body and its cues and losing weight steadily at a great pace. I haven't been giving myself goals to meet or placing restrictions on myself, because that has never worked for me in the past.

Well, next week is my bandiversary and I thought it would be wonderful to try to hit 250 by that day. So the other day I told myself "be good, no carbs, blah, blah, blah, blah" -- I sang that song we are all so familiar with.

And guess what happened? Suddenly the ability to say "no thanks" disappeared completely. I had TWO huge servings of ice cream on Friday, and a monster oatmeal cookie yesterday plus the ice cream that I swore to resist this week. We were at a gourmet supermarket yesterday where lots of cool samples were on offer, and normally it would have been easy to pass them up. But the very fact that I'd TOLD myself to made it impossible to resist.

The concept of self-sabotage doesn't exist if you don't place rules and goals on yourself. You can't let yourself down because you're only living your life. But now I feel guilty and angry because I know I won't get meet that silly "goal" I set for next week, and all of this is for literally no reason at all.

I'm letting go of it now. Back to not DIETING, back to just living the banded life. This experiment with goal-setting has scared me, dipping my toes into the pool of self-imposed limits that only exist to be broken has only shown me that THIS is what has always made it impossible for me to lose weight in the past.

But being banded takes away my physical hunger, so if I can remove the mental obstacles I'm really on my way. I've just learned without question that dieting is my worst enemy. Thank goodness it only took two days for me to realize that!

Alexandra

It's really amazing how similar you and I are. We both had our bands within a week of each other. And I think we both have the same general attitude(s) about the band, dieting, how the process has been, etc.

I have to say, that as I approach my one year bandversary, I am having more trouble than I've had in 11 months. I lost weight pretty quickly and steadilly. But the past few months have been difficult - particularly the last 6 weeks since my last fill (and 2 unfils!). I am the most restricted I think I've been and I think that the more restricted I am, the more I want to eat - especially "bad choices". So, although I can't eat all that much good food, I am managing to eat ice cream and carmel corn, and other bad choices.

I go the the doctor this Friday for my "unofficial" one year follow-up. During the last few weeks, I've actually gained a few pounds. So I'm going to try really hard this week to get those pounds off by Friday.

But I have to say, it's really very difficult to deal with feeling "deprived" - whether it's because you put yourself on a "diet" or the band is just so tight you have to limit what you can eat!

I have got to get back to that wonderful feeling I've had for most of the last 11 months, when the band helped with restriction and I just therefore made the right choices. And didn't feel deprived!

Good luck on your one year bandversary. Me too!

Mary

I think endulging your self in a icecream or some junk food, once in a while, shouldn't be a problem at all. As a matter a fact, I have 2 or 3 mac donalds extra large milkshakes every week. I really crave them and the way I see it, hey I want it, so what the hell go out and get it and get it over with

After that the cravings are gone and I can go on doing what I normally do.

Mary, I see what you are experiencing time and time again, and it concerns me that almost every single bandster has lying in their subconscious somewhere the thought, "If I stop losing, I can just get another fill."

This is NOT true. There ALWAYS comes a point where "more fill" is NOT the answer. A person can only be so restricted before they can no longer meet their caloric/nutritional needs.

When it becomes difficult to eat Proteins and vegetables, a person is too tight. Period.

If a person stops losing weight, but are consuming a "normal" amount of calories (for most women that is 1200-1500 a day), then it is more likely you are on a plateau that needs to be waited out, OR those 1200-1500 calories a day are coming from foods that are not your nutritious friends. I don't care what any nutritionist may claim - 1500 calories of ice cream is NOT the same as 1500 calories of Protein and vegetables. Why? Because eating sugar requires the body to release more insulin, which stores excess blood sugar as fat, and then crashes your blood sugar levels so low that your appetite is turned back on. Not to mention that there are very little vitamins/fiber in our less nutritious choices, which are invariably from the high glycemic index and loaded with fat - the double-whammy. Not to mention the fact that this stuff goes down easily, and does not create a sense of fullness like more solid foods, and does not give us HEALTH.

It always comes down to our food choices in the end, banded or not, restricted or not. The band helps with our hunger levels, which helps with our food choices UNTIL we get too tight. And then it becomes a downward spiral.

For those of you who have stepped over the line from eating less without feeling deprived to so tight that you cannot comfortably consume adequate quantities of nutritious foods, YOU ARE TOO TIGHT. Yes, it is frustrating to stop losing weight - but the band can only do so much.

Just like with anorexics - the eating/not eating is NOT the root of the problem. The band fixes the physical defect, but only treats the symptoms, not the underlying disorder of our psychological reasons for MO.

JMHO...

Alex,

Amen, sister.

I did the same thing a couple of weeks ago...I had a family reunion coming up and I thought it would be fun to be able to say, "I've lost 50 pounds" instead of 45. Well, what a disaster.

I ate everything in sight, felt like crap about myself, and totally lost sight of the fact that I had lost 45 pounds already; all for that allusive 5 pounds.

And you know what? Not one person at the reunion said, "only 45 pounds?"...they all said "holy crap, that's almost 50!!".

Megan

Alex... I have the same problem! I can't even say the D word without feeling an instant craving for naughty foods! When the dietician told me to continue journaling my food intake... I politely said... uh huh... and left knowing I would never write down a single morsel that entered my mouth. I am trying to shift the focus to living a more active and healthy lifestyle instead of having the focus be on FOOD. I do pay attention to the way that different foods leave me feeling... and I do make an effort to eat Protein first. I just can't measure... count... or otherwise obsess over food in any way... shape or form.

I try to be honest with myself about what I eat without punishing or putting myself down. I ate a lot of carbs this week... and... I noticed that I was less statisfied and had more and more cravings. I ate bigger portions... and... I noticed that I was uncomfortable... bloated... and less energetic. So... overall... the choices I made left me hungry... tired... uncomfortable... without weight-loss and unsatisfied... lesson learned and moving on without punishing myself. I want to learn about my eating patterns and listen to what my body tells me instead of just reacting as I used to. I hope that the band will help me do that!

It's a weird phenomenon, isn't it? I hear about other people "going on South Beach" or getting back on Weight Watchers and just shudder. What would that do to me, I wonder? Brrr.

I will say that "journaling" isn't in the same category for me. I use Fitday pretty regularly, but not in the spirit of trying to use it as a help in control. Entering the foods that I eat is educational for me, so that I'll have more information about what I am eating. So doing that doesn't have the same effect as trying to tell myself NO does.

I have to say it's a little scary to read some of these posts. I haven't been banded yet and worry I'll be the only one that won't lose any weight.

It is hard to change such old habits. How do we get beyond this? I see such a wide range of weight losses and wonder how some do so well and others not. If it's all in how you approach it what makes the band any better than anything else we've tried?

hopeful1

Hopeful, I'm a new bandster, so I don't really have any answers. But for me, the scale is heading steadily downward for the first time in years. My RXs have been cut in half. The band is the "extra shove" that I needed. I'm much more physically active than I've been in years. If I have a bad binging day, I know that I can get a fresh start tomorrow. I usually would have just given up and just gone back to my old habits...overeating, eating the wrong foods (hi cal - low protein), and no exercise.

AMEN Marie, Alex and Donali,

I agree with all of you. Hopeful1, I KNEW the band wasn't going to work for me and I would be the ONE person that didn't lose weight. I studied it and studied it, and although I wanted it done, I always cast a negative shadow over it when talking to friends and family about it. Fortunately they thought it would work for me and subliminally I HOPED it would work for me. I am so glad I had it done. In 3.5 months I am down 53 lbs. From 362 to 309 lbs! I didn't lose anything last week because my focus shifted into finals mode, hormone mode etc, but this week my weight loss has resumed. I realized my mistakes and brought the focus back to protein and vegetables. I still have a little chocolate everyday but that last week I had gone overboard on the treats. I do keep tabs of my calories like Alex mainly for educational purposes. It helps me keep tabs on my average intakes so I will hopefully tell if I am begining to see a pattern of eating more calories and what the calories consist of. I have not had a fill yet and am getting "full" on the same quantities that I was 2 months ago. I will NOT get a fill until I plateau for a minimum of three weeks and have evaluated any potential problems in my eating routines. Best wishes to you hopeful1 and thank you all for giving such frequent good advice. Teresa

Originally posted by hopeful1

. If it's all in how you approach it what makes the band any better than anything else we've tried?

hopeful1

The fact that it's still there the next day and the next week and the next month.

Often, we begin a diet on monday and by tuesday we've already given in and move on in our same old habits.

The band doesn't allow that. Sure, you can eat ice cream, today and tomorrow and the day after and the day after. The scale is going to show it too. But, the band will still be there. So even if I messed up all last week. I can still start over this week and pick up where I left off.

I'm one of the slower losers. I can't say what I might have done if I had started vigorous exercise right out of the box or if I had cut out all sweets. I'd probably be at goal right now, that would be nice, but what's the hurry? I've been fat since the late 70's, I think if I had lost it too quickly my head would definitely have alot of catching up to do.

I got this band because I don't diet well. Most of us did. Or, because we dieted too many times and each time we gained an additional 10, 20, 30 when we couldn't take it anymore. I promised myself I would not do that again.

When I got this band I said I will do better. I will change ONE thing. I've been changing ONE thing since September 2002.

First, I stopped smoking - cold turkey. Because in the back of my head I knew that I had a plan. I must regain my health, but the only way I knew how to do it and not go on overload mentally was to do it in baby steps. So, I started with smoking. I continued to read up on the lapband and started in earnest finding a way that I could have it done, all along trying to prepare my mind for what was to come.

I gained the obligatory 30lbs from no smoking, so I made my way up to 250lbs. I'm 5ft tall, so this nearly killed me, but I have never touched another cigarette.

May the following year, after moving across the states to a doctor who would do my surgery, I was banded.

I've struggled with the band. I've struggled with head issues and food issues, but I am no quitter. Every pound of the 64 I've lost, I worked for and it is definitely 64 I would not have lost without the band.

You know if the inventor of this band is collecting a dollar off of every new bandster that says it won't work for her/him, well, that would be a pretty hefty sum (on top of what he's already making).

What we have in common is what has made us a close and caring group. Each of us has struggled with weight, health issues, depression, binging, failed diets (there's that word!), and this has pretty much been our last resort. Hopefully, what we're learning is how to live sensibly, focusing on other things besides food, improving our health, improving our relationships with family and friends. I feel like it has improved my spiritual outlook and given me the gumption to get out and enjoy life.

Having found this group of fantastic people has got to be one of the best gifts that I have ever given to myself. I say a little prayer of thanks for that each day.

Hopeful, Leatha is right. There is no "giving up" with the band, because it's still there waiting for when we are ready to make a fresh start. In the meantime, whatever loss we've already experienced is NOT GOING AWAY!

I've NEVER lost this much weight before and had any prayer of keeping it off. THAT'S what's different. My future isn't a bleak landscape of "if I can JUST NOT EAT I'll be fine..." or "no, no, none for me, no" and resentment, deprivation, and hunger. It's a wonderful future of owning my own behavior and being ABLE to eat less and truly not wanting any more.

Really, it's amazing. Today I'm coming off a "binge" period of eating Cookies and ice cream over a three-day weekend, and I've no fear at all that I'll be able to get control again in short order. That knowledge all by itself is worth the price of banding!

The band is almost like anabuse for fat people..you eat too much or the wrong thing ,dont chew it well enough, dont take small enough bite, dont eat slow enough...you will get sick and that first PB is not fun.

If is all in how you approach it...some lose more becasue of their food choices and dedication to following all the rules..some lose wieght slowly by still eating how they ate pre band but just not as much...For me I have changed how I eat I do not eat chips, Cookies,candy or ice cream any more..I can not lie I have had a bite of ice cream and I few bites of a brownie but thats pretty much it. I cant say I never will eat those things again becasue I'm sure I will but for now I'm very focused. It is a tool but it does not make the food choices for you. There are certain rules to follow if you follow them you will be succesful, if you don't you will be successful but maybe not as successful as the person who is. I have never known anyone not to lose weight with this band.

The band is the best decision I have ever made...I will never put this weight back on, I can honestly say that!

Amen to what everyone has said.

I'm one of the slower losers, I guess, because I haven't made the best food choices, but I am thrilled with the band! The band is a tool that tells me, "Not one more tiny bite!" and means it! When have I ever had that before? The band is a tool that has kept me from re-gaining lost weight - even when I was eating nothing but junk. The band is a tool that has helped me lose 56 pounds and has helped me to return to normal blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar without medication.

Hopeful1, it is hard to understand until you experience it, but this is really a great tool. How great it turns out to be will depend on how committed you are, but it will definitely help you to lose weight.

Nancy

Thank you all for your input on this one. You've said exactly what I needed to hear. I WILL lose weight. I will HAVE to change some of my habits - the band will make me do that. Thanks Leatha for reminding me to take one bad habit at a time. You guys have all done an awesome job and I can't wait until I can see that happening to me too.

My doctor's office has everybody's paperwork messed up at the moment and I'm not getting an answer as to whether my insurance company has everything or not. It's very discouraging to say the least especially when I'm revved to go!

I can see why everyone loves this group.

Thanks

Denise