Secret Sleevers?

[EarthyGoalie 253]

I am not telling anyone other than the ones I've told so far: my parents, my sibling, and very few close friends (who did not react very well and made me feel bad about it, talking about "you can do this yourself, just try harder, and eat better")... I plan to keep it a secret from everyone else, for all the reasons you guys have previously mentioned as well... However, I have to see many people in that same week after surgery because of a big get together and conference happening in that same week and I'm struggling to find an excuse as to why I may be so tired, why I won't be eating, why I'm either in pain or under pain meds... I know it's going to be hard to hide because all this happens throughout the whole week after my surgery... Ugh... I feel that I don't owe people any explanations, but I don't want to seem like I'm acting weird, or I seem weird and everyone be suspicious and asking what is going on with me... I know this may seem ridiculous lol but I was even thinking of saying if people insisted, that I had some other medical problem lol, (because this thing is starting while I'm still at the hospital) but I don't know what to say. I know that most of them would see it as "I've completely failed", and I don't feel they know my struggle enough to talk about this... and I don't want that kind of tag on my forehead.. :-/

[AtlantaRed 651]

I plan on blaming it on my hiatal hernia repair which I would assume could make it necessary to eat a bland diet which in turn could cause a bit of weight loss.

[Matildarose 47]

I have kept it a secret from everyone except my parents and a cousin. Everyone else thinks I am getting a replacement band and that's all they need to know as a lot of them would freak out about it especially my grandmother and one particular aunt ( who doesn't even know I had my band removed)

. Although some of them know about the longer hospital stay I just tell them it is precautionary because I already had a band and they want to be sure there are no complications.

[SuperKen 229]

I don't like keeping secrets because I am not ashamed of my decision. At first I romantisized keeping this whole thing a secret' date=' even from my mother but then I thought against it because if anything happened while I was having surgery it wouldnt be fair to her that she at least didnt know. I struggled with that for a while. But I strive to live a transparent life and in that transparancy there may be oppurtunities to touch other people's lives with my story. I already have, twice (that I know of) and at the end of the day... people greivances about my decisions have nothing to do with me. So I do my best not to concern myself with them. It makes for a much happier me.[/quote']

I've told quite a few people even strangers and I receive 100% positive encouragement. If it weren't for a good friend telling me about his surgery and seeing how happy & healthy he is I would not be on my journey. YELL IT TO THE WORLD!

[bnape29 30]

I've told quite a few people even strangers and I receive 100% positive encouragement. If it weren't for a good friend telling me about his surgery and seeing how happy & healthy he is I would not be on my journey. YELL IT TO THE WORLD!

Kharold- I love that you said this, so many of us have walked a unique journey and the fact that you have such positive feedback is awesome. I don't think there is a right or wrong approach regarding our surgery, as long as we live healthy/happy lives, that's all that matters good luck to all the secret Sleevers/ open Sleevers !

[mscarlar 19]

My sister had her sleeve done in March and didn't tell anyone except her son and our parents. I was so hurt that she kept it a secret. I really do not understand not telling it. My husband and I are going to be speeded in January. I won't keep it a secret. I am proud that I am doing something for myself.

[gizmoboy 0]

I'm not really broadcasting it, and for many, I am just saying that it's hiatal hernia repair (which it also is). For some, I will tell them that while they're in there, they're sleeving me too.

I guess in the end, I'm not entirely sure why I'm not talking about it more. Some feels like to avoid uninvited opinions and comments, some because it's not really anyone's business but mine.

My wife and kids know, and my sister-in-law (who's had a BPD-DS, very successful), and my partner at work knows, but I don't know whether or when I will tell any others.

[kamkam 7]

Got my date today Secret Sleevers...Oct 23rd! I'm excited and anxious and scared...but mostly ready to get started w/my new healthy life..no more "big girl" references...so tired of being called big because I'm tall and over weight. My Weight is 233.6 and I'm 5'9 ..when I started I was 242. This is the largest I've ever been but it's painful for me' date=' 2 knee surgeries and several procedures to my lower back I'm just ready to be nice to my joints. Oh and how I live to sleep through the night again...sleep apnea is whooping my butt!!! And these blood pressure pills make me pee pee pee all day long...Lol! I'm so excited about never looking back and being healthy and happy..oh and sooooo cute! Lol! Anyway...I really appreciate the support here, now I just gotta make sure my secret is kept safe..this is such a personal decision for me, I've always been so transparent, but this is different. Any Oct 23rd Sleevers out there? [/quote']

I'm October 23rd!

[MsK1972 112]

Oh awesome Kamkam! We can virtually hold hands!

[kamkam 7]

Yes MsK. That would be cool!

[micphd 7]

I too am keeping it quiet. Not because I am ashamed or embarrassed but because I don't want to hear everyone's opinions. I also work in a field that there is a lot of "ribbing" from the guys so I am choosing to avoid this as it is a personal decsion.

My wife, mother in law (so she can watch the kids), sister and my coworker that I sit in a car with 40+ hours a week with know. That's it.

[Bisbiglio 1]

I still haven't committed 100% to doing the surgery. I'm scared, basically. And I do think those of us who chose to keep it a secret, for the most part, are ashamed. I know I am and that's why it's taken me so long to fully commit to a surgery date. I have to make this extremely drastic choice because nothing else worked. So yes, part of why I'm not telling people is because I am ashamed and I think we would be fooling ourselves if we didn't admit that to our fellow posters. That said, I'm very glad to have the opportunity to maybe not be anymore.

[Jerzygurl 372]

I still haven't committed 100% to doing the surgery. I'm scared, basically. And I do think those of us who chose to keep it a secret, for the most part, are ashamed. I know I am and that's why it's taken me so long to fully commit to a surgery date. I have to make this extremely drastic choice because nothing else worked. So yes, part of why I'm not telling people is because I am ashamed and I think we would be fooling ourselves if we didn't admit that to our fellow posters. That said, I'm very glad to have the opportunity to maybe not be anymore.

You're taking control of your health..nothing to be ashamed of..

[EarthyGoalie 253]

I think for me it's more of the "accepting that I have failed." or feeling that having the surgery means that I am a failure because I couldn't do what everyone else does". But you know what, most people regain weight with "normal" dieting, and it took a lot for me to stop thinking "maybe I can try once more" before committing to the surgery. But you know what I realized? While I'm sitting here thinking that I should try harder, my life is not on hold, it's flying by, and my health gets worse each day, and who knows what other health condition I may develop tomorrow ? So I decided to stop all that thinking while continuing to self sabotage myself and commit. And I don't need to explain to people why I'm having this surgery and how it's gonna change my life and what they think about it. So I'd rather blame my recovery if needed on something else. Because very few people know my real struggle with weight and food, so why do they need to know my recovery without even knowing the basics of my life struggle ?

[Bisbiglio 1]

EarthyGoalie - those words hurt, too. They hurt because that's exactly what it feels like. The fact that 30 years of my life have flown by and I can recall each time I didn't participate. Or every time I didn't go where I wanted, sit where I could have or given my all because I wasn't sure I would "fit." It's been so very very painful. Far more painful than a few incisions, I'm sure.