Okay, I don't know whether this topic has been covered before. If it has, my sincere apologies. However, there is something I have found on my explorations of all things 'sleeve', that has somewhat resonated with me. And not always in a good way.

If you're a bit like me, you've devoured everything available on the big ol' t'internet about the wondrous vertical sleeve gastrectomy. From doctors, to insurance, location, cost, life impact, health implications, surgery competence, surgery complications, long-term outlook, short-term discomforts, scale victories, non-scale victories, psychological wellbeing, psychological hurdles, physiological impediments, familial responsibilities, the Quest for Protein, the quest for Fluid, Protein Bars, protein shakes; which brand is the best, which brand is the worst.

The areas for consideration in this matter are endless and, if you're like me, you keep stumbling across extra information which every so often makes you say 'oh no, not another thing to consider'..

Getting to the point, I don't think there is a person amongst us that hasn't trawled the endless YouTube videos and the photos on this website of the dramatic transformations people have achieved. It is almost a voyeuristic pleasure which provides instant gratification and codification as to why you're taking this road. You see people and think 'wow, that could be me'.

Whilst clearly, dramatic weight loss will have significantly improved people's health and general wellbeing; reducing or eliminating comorbidities and making their prognosis much better than when they were significantly overweight. There is something that just won't leave me.

Have any of you seen photos and videos (and please don't quote specifics) where you've thought either a) you looked better when you were heavier or your weight loss has gone too far, stop, you're looking ill.

I don't want to be one of those people that everyone silently thinks 'you looked better before'. However, one only ever knows whether this is the case until you get there and or generally, after the event in question.

I guess, fundamentally, I'm questioning whether, in line with some medical publications, some of us are pre-programmed to be portly and we look 'better' portly as a consequence?

I know I shouldn't be concerned about this, because health comes first, right? However, when I see people with thinning hair/ no hair, degraded teeth, grey complexions, sunken cheeks, sunken eyes, I sometimes question whether this is the right thing to do, or are people, behind my back (and knowing some of the people I know), to my face, going to be thinking 'crikey, she looks awful'...

I have seen, particularly with some photos and videos over a lengthy period of time, people achieve a 'sweet spot' for looking 'well'. However and more often than not, they don't appear to stay at this. Is there a middle ground between meaty and malnourished? Can it realistically be reached and maintained?

What are your thoughts, people? Would be good to hear them x

I know a few people who have lost too much weight and look bad. In at 165 now and i Think I look perfect! I would rather have a little meat left so my face stays looking good. I've had one person tell me how BAD my face looked now because of my weight lose but she is full of crap because I get told all the time how great I look. I do have saggy skin but seriously how many 38 year old women really look great naked?

I'm 36 and in my head, even at my weight, I look like Venus De Milo, what are you on about?! LOL (kidding ) I totally agree with you on the thin face thing. It's not a good look. I don't know how tall you are, but 165 would be perfect for me, too. Do you have any suggestions on how to maintain calorie intake in the first couple of months?

I'm liking the sound of 'normal' - that's all I want to be. May I ask how you achieved and maintained that? As for the 'girls' and the belly, I'll be in exactly the same position.

As for the decision, I'm a little too far down the road now. Got 4 weeks till D-Day! Arrrgh! The above isn't a deal-breaker, as such. I just felt I'd like some information from you guys who have done it already as to how I could prevent myself from looking like I just got liberated from Belsen!

I exercised a lot in the beginning to get to goal. I did kickboxing, hiking, running, the wii fit, and weight training. I have never counted calories. I have counted carbs in the past, but now I just make sure to eat my Protein first and I don't worry about the rest. I am still active with hiking, and swimming but as far as maintaining I haven't had to do anything. My 2 year surgiversery is coming up on the 16th of this month and I have been my current weight since October. My original goal weight was 150 because that is right in between a healthy bmi for my height, however after getting to 170 I liked the way I looked. I am in a smaller size now at 170 then I was 18 years ago at 150. As for compliments....I took my 18 year old daughter to a comedy club last night and was called a milf by 3 of the comedians! Haha! My daughter was embarrassed but I was loving it!

solid meats were difficult and still are. in the beginning I would eat chili which was high in Protein with ground meat and Beans. I couldn't finish a small size (like a Wendy's version in the beginning) but eventually can do mediums. I did lots if lentil and black bean type Soups the first few months.

Greek yogurt was great for calories and protein. Now I use the sugar free Greek yogurt to save calories cause I hit 1200 so easy!

and don't worry about 400 calorie days in the first few weeks. the first couple months won't make you lose too fast or get gaunt. take advantage of no hunger and low cals the first couple months. your body will use your fat stores as it is supposed to.

As I said I am tall and feel best if I get 1200 a day. I don't want to lose any faster. i dont want to do rigorous exercise (yet). i walk and take stairs instead of escalators when commuting and make little choices to be more active as part of my every day activity.

everyone has to work the sleeve in a way that's best for them. for me, I wanted to be a close to "normal" whatever that is - and not be on a diet but just eat like this for life. Everyone is different. there is a honeymoon period and a lot of people want to go all out effort for that first 6 or so months. That's just not me. I needed to make my plan fit with my life and be doable for me. you will find what works best for you.

Since I wasted a post here. And can't delete it.

I will say it sounds like you are worried about losing to much weight? That, is something I really wouldn't worry about.

Most of us aren't rushing to a restaurant to down a cream brûlée to stop the weight from pouring off

also highly recommend myfitnesspal. tracking is key. I allow myself anything as long as I track it. that way if I don't lose I will see what I may be doing wrong. this way I can make sure to get at least 65g protein and keep sugar as low as possible. in first few weeks you may only get 30g -40g protein. it will take time to work up to it. I recommend premier shakes at that time. I don't do shakes anymore.

also highly recommend myfitnesspal. tracking is key. I allow myself anything as long as I track it. that way if I don't lose I will see what I may be doing wrong. this way I can make sure to get at least 65g Protein and keep sugar as low as possible. in first few weeks you may only get 30g -40g protein. it will take time to work up to it. I recommend premier shakes at that time. I don't do shakes anymore.

Yeah, the tracking thing.. I don't think I'd have the patience for that. I know I'll probably have to in the start, but i'm kinda hoping that if I follow the rules; protein, veg, carbs and no drinking during meals, that I'll be okay and will relax into it.. Although I'm also worried if I relax too much, I'll be stuffing pizza in no time!

I'm 36 and in my head, even at my weight, I look like Venus De Milo, what are you on about?! LOL (kidding ) I totally agree with you on the thin face thing. It's not a good look. I don't know how tall you are, but 165 would be perfect for me, too. Do you have any suggestions on how to maintain calorie intake in the first couple of months?

I am 5'4. I have had No problem with eating to many calories in the 11 months since surgery. Now I need to Change my focus to maintaining my weight and that's hard. I know it's time to start eating a little bit more so I can stay the same instead of losing but I don't want to eat more!