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Ouchy Sex! Help!



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So I lost 120# to have a better, healthier life. I do feel great, more energy, more sexual interest...BUT...having sex is just downright dreadfully painful!! Whether its dryness, lack of hormones, dehydration, or the fact penetration is further than its ever been...I don't know who to turn to for answers. I just know I can't go on like this. It feels like a knife stabbing me deep inside. The first few inches are just fine. But the deeper, the more pain. Last night, I was with someone new and it was totally embarrassing. I started screaming in pain!! That's not what is supposed to happen. I have read that maybe there is loose skin in the vagina and its rubbing?? Please anyone with answers and or suggestions I welcome your replies. Going to an Gyne will be dreadful and painful too but I am willing to do that. But if there is some super product out there I am not aware of, please please do tell. This is just downright depressing for me. I don't even want to date anymore. Thanks.

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Personally i think you should go to your Gyn for an exam and a full consultation. I think its probably hormonal but thee are a few reasons i can think of for vaginal dryness. There are several good quality lubricants on the market but I would ask the Dr for advice on the best one for you.

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Please see your gynecologist. Yes, as a gynecologist's daughter I'm biased, but this is not something you should try to diagnose yourself. You may have a cervical polyp that could easily be removed, or any number of other issues. And if it is something serious, you'll be glad you caught it now.

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Thanks, I will go to Gyne. But that may take awhile to get an appt. and I may need a new one because mine is so darned old and talking to him about this would be difficult. I was hoping to avoid this. Plus I can't imagine the pain!! But if its really that bad, they probably would have to give me something for the pain or do a scope. I'll get right on it, though. I never thought about being something as serious as a cervical polyp but now I cannot mess around with this until that is ruled out. Thanks again.

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The ladies are right on, you really should see a gynecologist. Sex isn't supposed to be painful...uncomfortable, maybe due to drynes. Painful no.

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Thanks, I will go to Gyne. But that may take awhile to get an appt. and I may need a new one because mine is so darned old and talking to him about this would be difficult. I was hoping to avoid this. Plus I can't imagine the pain!! But if its really that bad, they probably would have to give me something for the pain or do a scope. I'll get right on it, though. I never thought about being something as serious as a cervical polyp but now I cannot mess around with this until that is ruled out. Thanks again.

FYI - I've had two cervical polyps and neither was serious, just annoying. Certainly did feel better after they were removed!

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Yeah my first thought upon reading the OP was cervical polyp, with the pain you are describing it doesn't sound like a dryness issue which would hurt from chafing, but not be this screaming pain you describe. Defintely definitely go see a gyno. And you know what, a therapist too: I had no idea how many issues I had been masking with food for so long, until I had lost 130 lbs, was super awesomely fit, and dating hot dudes every night of the week. Then suddenly I realized, though the suitcases are smaller, I have a lot of baggage!! lol. For us women with sex, it all starts in the brain anyway.

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Yeah my first thought upon reading the OP was cervical polyp' date=' with the pain you are describing it doesn't sound like a dryness issue which would hurt from chafing, but not be this screaming pain you describe. Defintely definitely go see a gyno. And you know what, a therapist too: I had no idea how many issues I had been masking with food for so long, until I had lost 130 lbs, was super awesomely fit, and dating hot dudes every night of the week. Then suddenly I realized, though the suitcases are smaller, I have a lot of baggage!! lol. For us women with sex, it all starts in the brain anyway.[/quote']

Thanks, Globe...I've been seeing a therapist thru out my weight loss and before. Maybe it's time for a different one. No, I do think this is more of a physiology thing, though. I've never in my whole 41 years of being sexually active felt such pain. I've felt discomfort at times when it's been a little dry. But, I just can't figure out why the pain is when it's really deep. No pain with toys.

So, off to Gyne I go. I did read online that others have had similar pain and it was a result of WLS and extra skin in vagina. Who would think of that? I just know at 57, it's weird feeling like a virgin!!

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no pain with toys, hmm? Interesting... perhaps that is because the toys are self-directed, and who knows your body better than you ... So often we take the responsibility on our shoulders as women, is there a slight chance that ... it's his technique?

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Could be a prolapsed bladder or similar... Again, need to get a medical check up.

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Well, I finally got a referral to a new Gyne!! My PCP feels its just a hormonal thing, zilch Estrogen, hence zilch vaginal lubrication. I hope she is right!! And GT I'm sure technique had something to do with it too...hence, he's out of my picture!! Gotta get it together...got this new body, this new life, a new job...need the man now. And of course, pain free sex!!

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So, I can only share my experience.

I went through menopause young, like 3 years before losing weight, but apparently my morbid obesity kept a good steady flow of estrogen in my body. So much to my shock and surprise, after losing weight and resuming sex after a 5 year time off from it - ouch!

Turns out I had the normal post menopausal deal going on - not enough lubricant but more then that, you get some thinning of the tissues too. In my case, it was triggered by the weight loss but a normal weight woman would have encountered it during menopause.

I was put on premarin which is a hormone cream. It makes me itchy and it is irritating. I switched docs and now see a doctor who put me on a more natural treatment and life is good again!

I did not have the screaming pain you describe, more like a hotness, an irritation so I wonder if you don't have something else that really should be checked.

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