gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Kim, I think I am going to print out and tack up your response and hopefully it will get absorbed, thank you. Sheryl, actually, the behavior you said that women don't do - are EXACTLY how I have been treated by women, from grade school through undergrad. I stopped having close female friends after that although I had good acquaintances in grad school. I had two close female colleagues, one of whom has recently mysteriously stopped communicating with me. Tango has filled the social void for me.

I miss him, I miss what he promised to be, but the moment I complained that he wasn't affectionate (enough or, at all) he has never been the same. Whatever trickle of affection I got, turned off completely after I complained.

I have three more weeks here, I have to stay, that represents at least 2 months rent for Seattle plus the stupid expenses here.

I have this amazing hot--damn pin up girl dress that I bought for my birthday, but if I got all dolled up and then hit the town -alone- that would just crush whatever is left of my heart.

The one girlfriend I had here in KS was unsupportive and we aren't speaking now - she gave me a place to stay here in KS and then one day I came back from work and my bed was on the street and my stuff shoved into a corner. When I texted her she said she had told me her new housemate was moving in. Even though we had been communicating with my new cell number, she had been sendintg these texts to my old one and she acted like it was perfectly fine and no problem that she was kicking me out at 7pm and I was homeless.

Kim, as far as volunteerism, yes I can do that for sure, but I NEED money, I NEED to get paid for my efforts, ASAP.

Edited August 8, 2014 by Globetrotter

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Last week I fell into bad habits. I had a "staycation" which involved alot of house and farm projects, a few dates with Theo and lots of going out eating and drinking wine (did a wine walk etc). There were sandwiches, crackers and other carbs involved. And, i didn't step on the scale. I felt fat, like my jeans were feeling tight and yet this morning i weighed 141 - totally maintained. so, maybe I feel fat from the over indulgences? Anyway, my brain is apparently still not really to be trusted on the topic of weight/looks/size/consumption etc. I want to fast a couple of days this week to detox from carbs though!

How is everyone doing?

Florinda, I realize you had bad experiences in the past with girlfriends, I am just suggesting you open your mind to the possibilities. I think women become better friends as they get a wee bit older and realize we are all on the same team so to speak. I love my guy friends too - don't get me wrong, but the ladies in my social circle are all rocks AND so fun too! I never had girlfriends until about the last 10 years - my mom and my sisters where my girlfriends and I am glad I opened up my heart to these terrific relationships and many fun times with them.

So, date 3 with Theo was awesome! We met at 3 and did a tour of a local distillery, did the wine walk, ate dinner on a patio overlooking the Snohomish river - we shut the place down as we sat their talking until closing time so it was another "most of the day" thing. We seem to be hitting it off really well. I managed to navigate the dates so far such that the intimacy topic hasn't been an issue - Saturday for example we were near my home, but my kiddo was home so we didn't consider going to my place. At some point though I am going to have to decide if/when to proceed exploring that because it is important part of a relationship for me and it better be fun!

There is only one possible red flag for me about him and I am trying to assess it a bit. He does not have a great relationship with his 3 18 year old sons and it gives him great angst. I am very family oriented so it is always a redflag for me when someone has major relationship issues with their parents/kids/sibs etc - BUT, I also know that 18 year olds can be real PITAs and that in divorce situations sometimes dads get demonized. I wasn't there so it is impossible to really know if he is a mean ass or if his kids just rebel against the one parent who sets boundaries....

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Sheryl, he has THREE 18 yr old sons? Are they triplets??

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

They adopted a boy and then the classic... found out they were pregnant with twins. Ha! Can you imagine? so the one is actually a bit older than the twins, but they are currently all 18

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I have some real deep thinking and assessing, cause Bill and I had a big fight.

 

The guy I met dancing last Tuesday keeps calling. He got my phone number from one of the local ladies from the dance club who has my #. Then she left a message on my machine saying she's sorry if she did the wrong thing by giving my number to him, but he's a super sweet guy who loves to dance and needs a dance partner. Anyway, I told him I had fun dancing with him but I am in a relationship. Then he called today.I had a missed call from him but  no message.  It must have been his lunch  hour . I wasn't going to  call him back until Bill and I got into that fight and I am now seriously thinking I am going to see Jim tonight if he's free.

 

Sheryl, I am so glad things are working out so far with Theo. That's odd that he has 3 18 year olds! You'll just have to take things as they come and form your own opinion, even if he doesn't have good  relationships with his sons .

 

Florinda, Have you heard from Jack?

 

I am trying to eat right but haven't made a fast yet. I'm still at 139 but I wish I could take some off. I'll keep at it.

Edited August 11, 2014 by Oregondaisy

[Globetrotter 1,340]

yesterday I ate a can of Pringles and drank coffee. that was my intake for the day. Today I am having one of those days where I feel like I am about to burst through my skin, my legs woke me up in the middle of the night, wanting to run a marathon.

I only heard from Jack because I contacted him first. I said I missed him, and he said he missed me too and had wondered where I had gone. WTF, seriously?!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

That sounds like a line from Steven. ..ya know the best defense is an offense kinda thing

I only heard from Jack because I contacted him first. I said I missed him, and he said he missed me too and had wondered where I had gone. WTF, seriously?!!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Bill and I got into another fight yesterday. We have had 3 big fights since I got home from Chicago and that's too many for me. I told him today that we just aren't compatible, and we should face the inevitable instead of prolonging it.

 

Now maybe I can get back to 5:2. I really want to lose what I gained back. It's amazing that it's only 5lbs and my bellly and stomach stick out considerably more.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Oregondaisy

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am sorry Denise. I know that you are frustrated with lack of common interests but what is the core of the arguments?

As much as I like theo I am self protective about really falling for him... 3 dates, even all day dates, is NOTHING. I really don't know him and realize he could either drop me or turn out to be an ass at any moment. .. I am trying to keep things light for now.

Bill and I got into another fight yesterday. We have had 3 big fights since I got home from Chicago and that's too many for me. I told him today that we just aren't compatible, and we should face the inevitable instead of prolonging it.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Denise, I am so sorry you are going through this and I both sympathize AND empathize. The new guy sounds pretty great though. Perhaps we all need to remember that they are just humans, full of foibles and scar tissue of their own and they can't fix our fill our gaping holes left from lifetimes of obesity related trauma.

I read something on FB the other day, it was a link to a journal article regarding narcissism and I recognized almost all of the markers as behavior Jack is doing to me, including phase one "lovebombing" and phase two, creation of dependance/neediness by withholding the love and actively ignoring the person. He is also an introvert and I do need to understand what the truly means and I need to respect it, BUT, I also believe there is a difference between someone who is an introvert and someone with crippling social anxiety or some other disorder.

Today I had some madeleine Cookies and then threw them up. I recognize that this is f**ked up.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

The fight yesterday was because I didn't hear my phone ring. He gets so mad when I can't hear it ring. We were supposed to meet at the movie theater at 3:00. I got there, and he wasn't there, and I looked at my phone and I had a text from him that he was going home. He tried to call me to tell me he was going to be late, and because I didn't hear my phone ringing in my purse in the car with the radio on, he went home. It really really Pissed me off! I called him immediately so it was not even 5 min after he called me and I didn't hear it ring. He was already almost home.

 

So yes, I went to Jim's house and he talked about all the places he wants to take me. He goes to all kinds of dances, and everything and anything that goes on in out little town.

 

He doesn't have any  money. He's almost 69, still has to work and can't afford to retire. That sucks. But he's really sweet and fun.

 

I broke up with Bill today. He's a mess. He's been texting, emailing and calling all day. I think he finally gets it now. I kept saying we are not compatible.This relationship was too much work. Even if things don't go anywhere with Jim, Bill was really bringing me down. Sunday , was a gorgeous day, and all he wanted to do all day was sit on his computer.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Oregondaisy

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am sorry Denise but to me that childish temper over you not being at his beck and call is ridiculous. A normal person doesn't get mad because it takes you 5minutes to call him back. Is he a control freak or what? And why would he have gone home...he was the late one for crying out loud. I personally don't need drama kings and queens in my life. We are all terribly flawed but I would rather be permanently single then with someone who stresses me out. Anyway I think you called this one right...it just seems like he wants things his way (like being mad because you couldn't sleep over the noisy CPAP etc) all the time.

Having said that we all have baggage. I noticed myself feeling a little uncomfortable because not much contact from Theo since our amazing date on Saturday so I called him. He was so happy to hear from me but knew I was back at work this week and didn't want to bother me too much. Reminded me I need to "let go" of my fear of being ignored like my EX did for so long. It was really hurtful that I felt so unloved by my partner for so long, but it isn't fair to assume it's happening again or that he is that kind of person.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

How is everyone doing with losing or maintenance? I feel like I have been over indulging. I love having my son home but now there is bread and other siren calls in the house.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

yesterday I ate a roll of sushi and a sandwich. That's it. I did not exercise and I went to bed very early. I think they made a mistake when I was given a blood patch for my lumbar puncture 2.5 months ago, it has never stopped hurting since then.

So far today I have eaten a lemon cucumber and a grass fed Bison cranberry bar that is gluten free, 11g Protein, it unfortunately was 200 cals with 10g carbs, I should have read the packaging before eating...

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

That's another reason I am so glad to have Bill gone. He never could seem to manage to have dinner before 7:00. I am a 5-6 kind of dinner time person. It drove me nuts.

 

I am going to do much better doing 5:2 without him around. Jim keeps inviting me over for ice cream. I am going to have to straighen him out too.

 

I went to my usual tuesday night dance and had a blast. Jim was there and we had fun dancing. He really wanted me to go home with him but it's going to be awhile before that happens. I really want to get to know him as a person. He's taking me to dinner tomorrow night.

 

I feel bad about breaking Bill's heart. I had already told Jim that I could not see him again, and not to call me, but then Bill stranded me at the movie theater Monday, and it was the straw that broke the cammels back. I can't help wonder if I would have forgiven him if I hadn't met Jim. I know I was to the point that I didn't want to have sex with him anymore, so the days were numbered anyway.

 

Now he just called me and said he was miserable and that he loved me and missed me so much. I said I love you too but it's not enough. I just don't think we can make this work.