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I won't take any shite at work, and believe me I get a lot of it coming my way, but sometimes I'm a pushover with the man.... I wouldn't say I'm a shrinking violet though....he gets an earful now and then when Iv'e had it up to here-

I am like that too; I don't like to admit it but it is true.

Let me give you an example. My ex and I broke up last spring... well... we had been in the process of breaking up for quite awhile but the final "I am done" came from me in the spring. We want to remain friends, he can't support himself so the whole idea was I would give him...yet again more money so he could keep his debt collectors at bay, and continue to live in my house. In exchange, he was going to do some specific projects around the place AND take care of the horses during my surgical rehab. I thought a more than fair deal for both of us. He did take care of the horses, but NONE of the projects are done, and most are about 20-50% complete leaving me with a freaking mess. I finally today confronted him over it and he just said "it takes longer then I thought". My response was "it was like 9 months ago we agreed on all this". I am frustrated but I largely have myself to blame because he always did this (like I expected it to be different?) and because I should have been bitchier about it like 5-6 months ago but that just isn't how I am. Frustrating. But mostly I am frustrated at myself for once again believing... and for not standing up for myself.

I hear ya. Some people like to discuss, some like to fight... I came from a household that pretty much was a no fight zone OR ELSE. Now, what or else meant, not so sure, but it seemed like it might be..." I will be disappointed", or the worst thing might happen....? Anyway, In Craigs family, his dad was a bully, and always made him feel like he couldn't do anything right.... so when we disagree, he will defend his position to the death, (it seems) and me speaking up makes him larger and louder, even if his position is FOS. So, I like to talk things out, come up with an agreement or compromise... and he wants to fight for his position...Its a darn shame, because he could get so much more out of me and have a lot more peace if he would give and take nicely.(according to my definition of course!... :P ) I might have mentioned this before, his family motto is "Conquer or Die" and my family motto is, "Love" (on our Scottish shields) Should have headed the warning I guess!

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Globe I honestly belive things happen for a reason. Time to take your ball and go. I am sure it will hard but you have awesome inner strength I just know you'll land on your feet.

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Whatever may be the outcome, I want to be as ready as possible, so my footlocker is packed with everything that I want to keep and I will mail it to my PO box on monday. I have cleaned up my work station, organized all files hard and digital, and am packing up all of my Army stuff in the duffels. If I successfully medevac I will leave my room in ready condition, with the military stuff ready for shipment and I will take 2 backpacks with me, one full of paperwork and meds the other full of necessities.

As for the hawt soldier, something wonderful has come out of it that has nothing to do with boo-tay. He has turned out to be a genuine friend and support and sat up with me for 3 hours last night, letting me weep in his arms while he prayed for me. I told him everything, just utterly unburdened myself and he shouldered the load, it was incredible and although he was presented to me in the strangest of ways, he is in my life for a reason and I feel blessed to have someone who has my back.

I won't know how all the other stuff will play out until Monday, I will be able to take the temperature then, if it goes one way, I will try to medevac asap, if it goes another way then I will stay until beginning of Feb before trying to medevac.

In fitness and nutrition news, my new buddy is a Xfit trainer back home and is doing 1on1 sessions with me, after just one session I broke through the weight barrier I have held since I started Insanity 6 weeks prior! So forget Insanity, I'm doing this.

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I read the site everyday and want to join in and offer something whitty or deep, encouragement, condolences or insight and by the time I get round to composing a reply my thought(s) have already been voiced by someone else and the forum has moved on so I don't post ( time difference doesn't help at times). It may look like I'm not involved but I am and want to be, I just stand quietly at the back of the room. I do pray for you all and I hope no one is offended by that, my nan (grandmother) was a great woman of prayer and a big influence in my life she would say at all times (happiness, sadness, despair ...) pray.

Two fast days this week, came in nearer 600 but certainly better than than what I have been eating over the holiday. I'm back in a work routine and the exercise routine is nearly there so life is not too bad. I have lost 3/4 of the extra I put on over the holiday so I am pleased with that. Hubby has started the process of looking for work, I'm still not used to having him home all the time yet, will be interesting next week as my son returns to university on Sunday so it is just the two of us. I reckon he will be like the cats- they are sat waiting at the door when I come home from work, he will be sat waiting wanting to chat. I on the other hand like to come in grab a coffee and sit quiet (my job is quite intense and I'm lucky if I get a 10 min break in the 8/9 hour shift), we will have to sort out some sort of compromise. MIL doing well, getting a bit more batty but that is just the disease.

Off to sort laundry so that everything is ready for the great departure on Sunday. My son is only gone for 8 weeks at a time and he is extremely privileged to be studying at Oxford, yes the dreaming spires.., nice place to visit too. It is only an hour away- close enough to reach if he needs us but too far (no car) to drop home for tea. Hope everyone has a good day and weekend.

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...his family motto is "Conquer or Die"

LOL...I think that must have been my family motto too. I've had to work VERY hard as an adult to be even slightly good at choosing my battles. When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail...

It is only an hour away- close enough to reach if he needs us but too far (no car) to drop home for tea.

Haha, for some reason this totally cracked me up. :lol:

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Cathy, you are beautiful just the way you are, and speak up if something moves you, if it was good enough for three pages ago, its good enough for a revisit now!

...and I am going to take this moment as an opportunity to call ....LAURA!!!!

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Cathy, I always appreciate what you contribute. And yea, there are many posts I think to reply to but kinda miss it as it moves fast... but I read each and every one!

I woke up heavy on the scale today - didn't do my usual thursday fast as i am much more focused on my "mood" issues. Oh well. I am making progress on the anxiety.... of course only time will tell but at least I am not worse. I was worried for awhile there that I was losing my every loving mind.... I now have data and understanding of the triggers much better then I did before so when I have my appointment on monday I think I can at least provide better symptom description.

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Whatever may be the outcome, I want to be as ready as possible, so my footlocker is packed with everything that I want to keep and I will mail it to my PO box on monday. I have cleaned up my work station, organized all files hard and digital, and am packing up all of my Army stuff in the duffels. If I successfully medevac I will leave my room in ready condition, with the military stuff ready for shipment and I will take 2 backpacks with me, one full of paperwork and meds the other full of necessities. As for the hawt soldier, something wonderful has come out of it that has nothing to do with boo-tay. He has turned out to be a genuine friend and support and sat up with me for 3 hours last night, letting me weep in his arms while he prayed for me. I told him everything, just utterly unburdened myself and he shouldered the load, it was incredible and although he was presented to me in the strangest of ways, he is in my life for a reason and I feel blessed to have someone who has my back. I won't know how all the other stuff will play out until Monday, I will be able to take the temperature then, if it goes one way, I will try to medevac asap, if it goes another way then I will stay until beginning of Feb before trying to medevac. In fitness and nutrition news, my new buddy is a Xfit trainer back home and is doing 1on1 sessions with me, after just one session I broke through the weight barrier I have held since I started Insanity 6 weeks prior! So forget Insanity, I'm doing this.

I'm so glad to hear that your have a buddy right now!!! Keep us updated on how it all goes down.

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It makes so much sense to keep track of mood... or anything you want to change or keep the same for that mater! To see it in writing sometimes is all it takes to make the change. Physics says that looking at something changes it....the observer effect...

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I read the site everyday and want to join in and offer something whitty or deep, encouragement, condolences or insight and by the time I get round to composing a reply my thought(s) have already been voiced by someone else and the forum has moved on so I don't post ( time difference doesn't help at times). It may look like I'm not involved but I am and want to be, I just stand quietly at the back of the room. I do pray for you all and I hope no one is offended by that, my nan (grandmother) was a great woman of prayer and a big influence in my life she would say at all times (happiness, sadness, despair ...) pray. Two fast days this week, came in nearer 600 but certainly better than than what I have been eating over the holiday. I'm back in a work routine and the exercise routine is nearly there so life is not too bad. I have lost 3/4 of the extra I put on over the holiday so I am pleased with that. Hubby has started the process of looking for work, I'm still not used to having him home all the time yet, will be interesting next week as my son returns to university on Sunday so it is just the two of us. I reckon he will be like the cats- they are sat waiting at the door when I come home from work, he will be sat waiting wanting to chat. I on the other hand like to come in grab a coffee and sit quiet (my job is quite intense and I'm lucky if I get a 10 min break in the 8/9 hour shift), we will have to sort out some sort of compromise. MIL doing well, getting a bit more batty but that is just the disease. Off to sort laundry so that everything is ready for the great departure on Sunday. My son is only gone for 8 weeks at a time and he is extremely privileged to be studying at Oxford, yes the dreaming spires.., nice place to visit too. It is only an hour away- close enough to reach if he needs us but too far (no car) to drop home for tea. Hope everyone has a good day and weekend.

Cathy, I feel your strength and encouragement you offer to us all. I, like you, believe in the power of prayer and offer them for the needs we all shoulder.

As to the "cats!" LOL. I've had a "cat" hole since last January. The hubs retired and I am still working 3 days week. There he is sitting when I leave and when I get home. Ha! He does move and do stuff during the day but I tend to get irritated at times ( really it's probably jealousy because I would love to quit work completely) but he's five and half years older than me so I'll take this stage in life!!! Ha! Wish your hubs the best luck.

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Hey what do you guys think of inviting Queen of Crop into our group? I've always liked her and I think she would be a good contribution. I can go through the list of

people in our group and delete anyone that I don't recognize as contributing.

I will pm them first.

On another note, I was 133 yesterday. So today I finally get to meet Larry who has been sick and cancelled 3 times. I talked to him this morning and he sounded anxious to meet me.

I love 5:2 so much. It's so easy. I think the fasting part which makes eating Breakfast much later has been the key for me. It just stopped the all night snacking completely.

Edited by Oregondaisy

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OD -- I'm a fan of letting Queen in, I have been online friends with her for a long time and recently we met up in my town at xmastime, she's great!

ETA: Not to be totally selfish about it or anything...but she's pretty nearby and is the only other American in Europe I know who's had the sleeve and is also now doing 5:2. It makes me feel so much less alone...

EATA: LOL...I know The Island is officially Europe too! But it's so much further away...somehow... <3

Edited by swizzly

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Fasting today, and since we are mood evaluating, I'm just feeling melancholy...

Not sure why. Probably because I picked up my fur-baby's ashes today, brought them home and put them up. Went out shopping ...I usually *love* January clearance and just NOTHING was right. So I spent $1.08 on a McDonald's hot coffee with cream and splenda and I'm back home ready to start dinner and pick up the girls from school. We have a busy night of volleyball practice for both girls tonight, so I have to plan our dinner as we'll rush out the door by 4:30 and won't return home until probably closer to 9pm.

Just feeling blah...

I'm fine with is it Kris (Queen of Crop?) joining? However, a while back weren't we discussing her plastics scars and hoping they would get better with time? How do we feel about her reading those posts?

I saw Susan pop in here about 20 pages ago, but Susan are you still with us?

No Laura and No Cheri (I PM'd Cheri to say she was missed... but haven't heard anything back.)

Missing a couple our sweet girls...calling all 5:2ers...c'mon back we miss you!

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I don't think queen of crops is Kris, QOC is an American living in Europe.

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I don't know Kris, but QoC is not Kris. :-)

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