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Is it weird that I am scared of losing weight



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I started gaining weight around 12, before that I was thin. I don't remember what it felt like not to be fat. I feel like all of my mannerism, my personality, my understanding of people, my empathy, who i am as a person is because I am fat and had to learn how to exist in a skinny world. I feel like I am me, because i am fat. So now i am worry about not being fat, that as the pounds leave me, other pieces of who i am will to. that i will wake up and be different and that scares me the most. Don't get me wrong i know my quality of life will improve 100 times over when i lose weight, i will be able to do things i can't do now because i am to big to slow, and i get to tired to fast. I know my health will get better, health is the biggest reason i am doing this. but I am just scare of not being fat.....

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I have the same worry. Being overweight has been a huge part of who I am for over 20 years. The good news is im not losing very fast, so I have time to adjust to it.

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Nope.. not weird at all.... Being a fat girl is part of WHO I AM.. I have been fat for 40 years. I actually never agonized over being fat and it wasn't until I started being concerned with the health aspect and certain things that I felt limited by.. that I seriously considered this surgery. Fat IS part of my identity.. just like ethnicity, or height might be for many people, it's just what I have always been and it has shaped me. I have absolutely NO idea what it will feel like to be normal weight or who I will be then... It's scary.. but kind of exciting too.

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You've learned many things. Those lessons will not leave you with the fat. They are stored in your mind and heart. The real you is not the fat. Fat is excess storage. It contains no personality.

You may have relied on your big size to give you space in social circumstances. I used mine to intimidate at times. You will have to find your power in the force of your personality. Your empathy remains, your compassion as well. The fat did not give it to you. Your heart did. Now you will have a greater capacity to express your love with your new vibrancy. You can do more for more people because you are free from the drag down that fat was, you are stronger.

Your self image will change but your identity will remain the same. You will adjust to the sleek version.

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Wow! What Gman said.

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One day at a time Corey and you'll do great!!! Gman is definitely the man to listen to!

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Thanks everyone makes me feel a lot better knowing it not just me. Gman great words... I can only wait and see what the future holds.

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It is funny, I said this are thing on just yesterday. I am pre op and was talking to a friend about never weighing under 200 lbs in my adult life. I don't know my self as a "average or regular " sized person. Scary but exciting. My personality out weighs my body size is what I concluded.

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and it's not just us that has to adjust. My adult daughter told me, "But Mama, I've never known you not-fat. How will I relate to you?" It is a big change and although GMan is right, we are not our fat, we are going to change. I think a big part of remaining true to oneself is being aware of how we are changing. Be conscious.

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I'm new to all this, just had my surgery on the 7th, but just as others have said here being fat does not define us, hell I'm still 19 inside my head even though the calendar says I'm 56. I'm starting this journey weighing in at 450 on an under six foot frame, in a very skinny military G.I. environment where everybody else has to go to PT every day and if their waists get over 36 inches the world will come to an end. Embrace yourself, be yourself, your personality is yours and as long as we are true to ourselves we can persevere. I don't know that I'll ever be "skinny" but I'm not going to be "fat" either...I want to be me...

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I know exactly what y'all mean. I was sleeved on 12/6/12 and I've lost 85 lbs to date. There are times when I don't recognize myself in the mirror. It's hard to take that. I've been used to a certain image of myself and it freaks me out. People look at me differently now and that's hard too. I don't have to constantly feel like I have to be defensive anymore. I'm sure i'll adjust in time but its going to be a while. It's ok to be afraid.

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wow! the closest i can remember i have been overweight since about 8. i am now 39. i have never been someone to obsess over dieting. i have never believed i had will power. i have just accepted who i was. i have confidence in myself but i know deep down i am self conscious about my weight. i have watched biggest losser since day one and i know the biggest battle is finding out why you are overweight and fixing the problem. i have never been able to pinpoint the reason. i think the op hit the nail on the head and i am concerned about the inner me that i love. just today i was looking at pics of before and after on this site. i was thinking wow look at what they have become. i realized then i am excited to see what is under all of this. i may not believe that i have will power but i know i have determination. i have surgery 6/18/13. i am starting to calm the butterflies.

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p.s. i have decided i am going to begin life at 40. embrace the journey!!!

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I haven't been sleeved yet, but I am worried about the weight loss too. In the last 14 years, I have doubled my weight..and then some. It took me a long time to realize how big I am- I still don't 'feel' like I am big...nor do I feel small. I don't know how I will feel when I am small again.

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No, it's not weird at all. I'm waiting for insurance approval and I'm terrified of how people will look at me after surgery. I used to get a lot of make attention when I was younger and thinner and even then, I wasn't normal BMI. I haven't had to deal with being hit on or stares or anything like that for 20 years. All my friends that know keep telling me I'm going to be so hot and all this kind of crap. To be honest, I never liked a lot of attention. I had a destination wedding because the thought of people staring at me was uncomfortable.... So NO, your not weird for being scared about losing weight. I'm with you.

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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