Ok everyone, I finally bit the bullet and put myself back in the online dating world....I chose to date here because I am a nanny, so not in the career to meet people and also not interested in picking up drunk slobs at bars so I date online...I used to do it all the time but totally took myself out of the dating world for a long time because I was just so depressed and hated myself....I got to the point now where I am feeling lonely and why should I let my weight stop me from having a relationship right? Well, I have a date on thursday night, with a seemingly nice guy and I am soooo nervous...I am never worried that someone isnt going to like me for who I am because I am a great person with a great personality and even a pretty face....But, I base it all on weight...He isnt gonna like me cause I am heavy I always say....I just want to get over this, that people should care for me because of who i am not how much the scale says right, but how do I do this...Any help, advice, or support would be greatly appreciated....And I cant freakin believe I have a date, ughhhhh

Pink,

I would want someone to love me for me as I am right now. That way as I lost the weight, I would know that I was loved even when I was overweight and never have to question that aspect of the relationship.

My reality is that if by some chance I should ever have to have the band removed and regain weight, that the person I chose would know me and love me regardless of my physical state.

Oh Pink! I am sure it will be wonderful! And if he is a jerk, that is ok too! There are plenty of fish in the sea and if he doesn't appreciate you then he needs to just move on baby!

We always imagine the worste in our heads anyways, I am sure it will be great!

Hey there killer,

I wish you cam to the Xmas party but I see you had much more fun on the date. I am so happy for you girly. I am on vaca next week lets get together

Vickie

Ha! I used to live with someone somewhat famous (won't drop the name, though) and he always told me how he loved plump women. Couldn't get enough of them. He just didn't want them to be sloppy fat. He felt a good 45 lbs. overweight was the cat's meow. It just goes to show, you can never tell what will appeal to someone.

i found my husband online :clap2:

http://www.andreerichards.piczo.com/?cr=7&rfm=y

OK.. so I skipped alot of what has been said before me, because I wanted to give you my advice... and I met my fdh ONLINE, and I had a year of various online dating experiences before him. I went online because I live in a small town and the gene pool had been picked over or they are someones ex... ANYWHOOOO....

I STARTED my online journey when I weighed 230 size 16/18.... during the time I was lowcarbing and ended up down at a size 12....but I had a lot of fun in the meantime.. it is mainly about YOUR self awareness..... I did post pics and one guy did end our communication because of my size, but really there are plenty of people around that are not that superficial...

NOW I did get suprised myself on a couple, and one guy who I just didn't click with at all....

I had the best matches on Eharmony, but in the end I (ON A WHIM) joined yahoo personals.... that was where I met my current guy... and that was nearly two years ago....... I was a size 10/12 when I met him, and now I'm ALLLLLLL THE WAY BACK UP! He thought LowCarbing was crazy, and all the women in his family are large so to him that was normal..

Anyway....

I would meet him in a public place, just in case it doesn't work for YOU!

and also realize for a lot of guys its mainly about sex.. so the nicest guy on the phone and on email... could just want to get some and move on.....

Mainly remember to relax and HAVE FUN! YOU ARE WORTH IT!

P.S... I just went back and read that your date went AWESOMELY! I LOVE IT! Just like your sig says... Watch OUT WORLD HERE YOU COME! :clap2:

I did post pics and one guy did end our communication because of my size, but really there are plenty of people around that are not that superficial...

I can't help myself. This type of comment does get under my skin. It's nothing against you Tracy, I agree with everything else you said in your post. But do you really believe that every man who is not immediately attracted to extremely obese women is "superficial"?

I see this type of comment on this board quite frequently. I've also seen such men referred to as "jerks." To me it is a way of blaming others for what we have done to ourselves. The fact of the matter is, very few men are initially attracted to morbidly obese women. And, of course, very few women are initally attracted to morbidly obese men. That's just the way it is in this world. Who can deny this?

Attraction can grow as love grows, and I've found myself attracted to obese women when I got to know them. And, of course, no one would condone leaving a significant relationship because a spouse/partner gains weight. But that is an entirely different issue.

The issue here is, when you are first dating, and especially dating online when you know absolutely nothing real about the person you are about to meet, how is it possible to expect that others will not consider the fact that we are so fat that we are medically disabled, to the point where we deserve to have medical insurance pay $25,000 for our surgery?

At this point in my life I am physically unattractive to the large majority of females out there. This is because of what I did to myself. It's my fault. I cannot imagine a mindset that would allow me to blame women for finding me unattractive, because they are "superficial" "jerks."

marjon... hey its a fact of life... just like the time I was surprised to see a BALD guy walk through the door when in his post he appeared to have hair! LOL ... that was ME being superficial and I had to get over it......

People are people... I can't help it if SOME PEOPLE (men and women alike) judge by that first gut impulse on what someone looks like.. and yes it is superficial.. just like the guy mentioned in my post.... he was fine.. and when he finally started asking what I weighed I knew he was a superficial guy... and when we exchanged full body pics (clothes ON) he said I was too big, and that he was interested in someone who looked good when on his arm.... I call that being insecure and yes SUPERFICIAL, oh and I should mention that he kept dropping names of various celebrities because he was a friend of a promoter... blah, blah, blah... we had a pretty frank discussion in the end.. and he admitted that because he was fairly short, (which he didn't disclose til later) that he could only date women who were under 5'4" and top the scale at 115 lbs..........

This was the worst one I encountered......... during my year of online dating craziness.. I met nice guys, and guys with issues all their own, I was never what most would consider skinny.. because if my sister ever had to wear a size 12 she would be so depressed... where as me... I am ONE HOT MAMMA in a size 12, and I will shake my size 12 levis at anyone who says otherwise! LOL........... (unfortunately those same levis are gathering dust in my closet waiting for me to get into them)