I just been sitting were for last hour reading posts all over the forum...and came to realize im not as confident as i thought i was..... For years I've struggled n relationships and going out finding the right outfit....but i always said if a man could except me for me then to heck with him and i just don't go out unless im forced....but i just think its crazy that weight plans such a big factor and it took til now for me to realize that im realize not as confident as i thought i was...i look at some of my pictures and say "goodness im huge" some pics look nice but some look horrid....just blowing steam and sucking it up i know thing will get better but sheesh it sucks....im 27 young no children no man....this is no way for me to live!!!! Can't wait to start over!

I'm scared of the exact opposite. I do have high self esteem now because over the years ive come to realize I'm a beautiful pleasantly plump woman. Im worried that when I lose weight I wont have as much confidence as this is merely a health change for me. I am not attracted to other women and feel everyone is beautiful but I think if I was attracted to other women I would go for a bigger woman because I just think bigger women are better looking. Ive had the exact opposite experience with men' date=' men who say they like women with curves (but who knows they can say to a thin woman they like women thin). I'm also engaged to a man who met me at my current size and while he says he loves me and will be behind me 100 percent I cant help but to think he chose me for a reason, what if he no longer finds me attractive after weight loss? What if I no longer find myself attractive? Has anyone had these issues or thought about these things pre op?[/quote']

I think Im beautiful the way i am....but i think Im unhappy with the way things are in my life some days i feel good some days i feel bad....and i too just like u feel that i may not be attractive small but this is more so for health....although having a great beach body is a plus.)))) i think a lot of ppl have concerns and are scared of the outcome whether good or bad but whats most important is why we are doing this is it just to be skinny or is it to potentially live longer not like breath after a few stair cases...thats the main objective to be healthier...but i know those thought among many others cross ny mind i been thinking a lot lately and from the posts in this forum its very normal.....it would be abnormal to not have these thoughts

I'm also engaged to a man who met me at my current size and while he says he loves me and will be behind me 100 percent I cant help but to think he chose me for a reason, what if he no longer finds me attractive after weight loss? What if I no longer find myself attractive? Has anyone had these issues or thought about these things pre op?

Well, look at it this way. Once you are married, the idea is to stay that way "till death do us part", right? (Your last name isn't "Kardashian"--this is for the long haul, yes?)

In three or four decades, you and your hubby-to-be will definitely not look exactly like your wedding photos, whether you are sleeved and get thinner, or opt out of the surgery and stay at your current weight.

There will be gray hair (maybe under some hair color). There may be a receding hairline on his part. Gravity will play its evil games with parts of you that used to salute the sun and were once called "perky". You both may get wrinkles (assuming that you don't go the route of Botox and facelifts). Health problems may arise, one or both of you may be moving slower than you used to. There may be a cane, a walker, or a wheelchair in your future; there's no way to know, really.

But does that change your committment to marry? If any of the above happen, will you love him less or expect him to love you less? "Oh, sorry, I just can't be with you any more, because your bra is resting in your lap these days..." Of course not!

Same idea with weight loss surgery. If your relationship is on solid ground, and if he loves you deeply, the outside is no more important than the wrapping paper on his favorite gift. It's just the outside, and not the best part anyway!

YOU GO GIRL! Now that's the positive attitude that is needed to be successful! We are all in this together!!