Offended? Dating and weight.

[Kelly1334 52]

A guy I met pre surgery sent me a video of a concert. In the background he was telling his friend about me who I had also met. While describing me he called me "that big girl Kelly". His friend responded with oh yea she's really pretty! He said "she's lost over 50lbs she looks even better now". He doesn't even know I heard this Convo because be was so drunk on the video...

I think I'm offended by the "big girl" comment. But at the same time he's the one who asked me for my number and took me out and asked me out numerous times after (which I now know why my instinct told me no way). If he's the one who asked me out numerous times how much could 50lbs really have bothered him?

Needles to say I feel he's not in that great of shape to be referring to anyone as 'that big girl' lol

[Zen 29]

Yeah I'm not too sure about this guy. He's not bright enough to realize he sent you the video with him talking about you in the background.

[Iniysa 157]

You go girl!

[Takingcontrol 467]

Your beautiful....don't waste your time on him!

[iegal 460]

What a dumb dude! Sending you a video with comments like that could be hurtful.

Honey, confident you were beautiful at your highest weight and are even more lovely now. So what? Don't let some drunk guy disappoint you.

[Afrodite82 148]

Hmm. Well, with all due respect, none of us are here on this site because we aren't (or weren't) "big girls". Was it indelicate of him to use the term to describe you? Sure. But is it truthful?

People typically use the first or most distinguishing physical characteristic to describe a person to someone else, ie. I'm often "the black chick" or "the black Rebecca"; other people are "the blonde guy", "that nerdy girl", "the bald guy". Is any of that PC? Nope, but, it happens. The thing I note here is that they both agreed that you are attractive. Even more so now that you are slimming down. Further, like you pointed out yourself, he pursued you. Something to ponder. Now, however, I fully agree with the person who posted above that he ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer if he sent you a video wherein he was insulting you (inadvertently or not). So if you aren't feeling him anyway, then just take it in stride and keep in mind that Marilyn Monroe quote "if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!" Take care.

[ArtSong 291]

Really this is even a question in your head?? He is to drunk to know what he said and sent. You are hot now you were hot before you are smart now and then O and you can do better Shop around men are like shoes you can always get a new one Don't ever forget that you have to be happy in every way if your not happy no one your with will be. Now get out there and try on some shoes make them work for it

[shannon crotts 23]

Totally agree with Afrodite82!!

[Threetimesacharm 1,400]

I think he was just saying like a man would, take it for a grain of salt. You were the big girl and if it was correct to call you this or not; men don't think like woman do. If he is younger, say under 30, give him a break, he hasn't been trained yet!! He clearly likes you, see where it goes, maybe you will be the one to set him straight; if not for you then the next gal.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Speaking for the men....if you women dumped us everytime we said or did something stupid or insensitive, you wouldn't have a man around very often. We need your understanding and forgiveness, and you need to give it or you will be lonely and frustrated looking for Mr. Perfect.....cause he's gay.

Now of course, there is a huge difference between just being a knucklehead...and being a jerk. If he's a jerk, you don't need him.

[lilbearzmom 584]

I agree with the other posters who said he wasn't too smart to send you a video where he is talking about you in the background, drunk or not. HOWEVER, I don't see how what he said was all that bad. I mean, he did call you "big", but you were, right? He still found you hot, and now he thinks you are even more. If you like the guy other than this minor slip up, I say give him another chance.

-Kendra

[Museum-Mama 196]

Well, how do you feel about the friend? His first response was, "the pretty one". Lol!

Anyway, you should talk to the guy and see if he realizes what he did and if he sincerely is sorry.

[slimjim41 33]

Yeah, I agree. Sounds like he was drunk and who here on this sight hasn't been? Yes, it was a little dumb on his part to send that video but he was intoxicated. Yes, he said, "The big girl." But it sounds, not mean, just a descriptor his friend would identify you with and you were. I say, if he is nice, fun, and he pursued you the WAY YOU WERE, and now thinks you are even hotter, and you liked him, give him a chance. If he repeats, "stupid" drunk again, then say "bye."

[Kelly1334 52]

Well' date=' how do you feel about the friend? His first response was, "the pretty one". Lol!

Anyway, you should talk to the guy and see if he realizes what he did and if he sincerely is sorry.[/quote']

Hahahaha that's so funny! How do I feel about his friend lol that's the best

[Kelly1334 52]

Speaking for the men....if you women dumped us everytime we said or did something stupid or insensitive' date=' you wouldn't have a man around very often. We need your understanding and forgiveness, and you need to give it or you will be lonely and frustrated looking for Mr. Perfect.....cause he's gay.

Now of course, there is a huge difference between just being a knucklehead...and being a jerk. If he's a jerk, you don't need him.[/quote']

Very true. I don't think it was mean spirited. I think I was more confident 50lbs heavier then I am now. Perhaps I have to get used to my new body