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Dee~ So sorry that words someone said to you in third grade affected you so. You are a very smart woman! Look at all you have accomplished. =)

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Mini~ I have had 2 fills and currently have 4cc's in a 10cc band. I do feel something... but not much. I am too afraid to test it! lol. Like scrambled eggs and bread I can definatly feel going down. But I really feel like I could eat anything and everything if I wanted to.

I am still eating too much. Like for lunch instead of heating up a serving size of chicken nuggets (5). I heat up 7 or 8 or like yesterday, 10. I just get hungry.

I think perhaps if I measured and concentrated a bit more on the amount I put on my plate before I eat, maybe I would realize how much less I am eating than I used to.

Maybe I do have restriction and I am not realizing it? I have no clue. I didnt know I had severe acid reflux. Maybe I am dead inside and that is why I eat too much. lol.

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Dee~ So sorry that words someone said to you in third grade affected you so. You are a very smart woman! Look at all you have accomplished. =)

I would second that. And you are an incredible writer. I love reading your blog. And you're really supportive of everyone here. And I'll bet the babies at the hospital adore you. Hmmm, I'd say you turned out pretty well!

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Mini~ I have had 2 fills and currently have 4cc's in a 10cc band. I do feel something... but not much. I am too afraid to test it! lol. Like scrambled eggs and bread I can definatly feel going down. But I really feel like I could eat anything and everything if I wanted to.

I am still eating too much. Like for lunch instead of heating up a serving size of chicken nuggets (5). I heat up 7 or 8 or like yesterday, 10. I just get hungry.

I think perhaps if I measured and concentrated a bit more on the amount I put on my plate before I eat, maybe I would realize how much less I am eating than I used to.

Maybe I do have restriction and I am not realizing it? I have no clue. I didnt know I had severe acid reflux. Maybe I am dead inside and that is why I eat too much. lol.

Hmmm, I think I know what you mean. I'm not very in touch with my body or my hunger. I just sort of eat without paying attention to what I'm doing. It scares me that I'll continue to do that after I'm banded. I think if you're hungry then you should eat! I think it's when we eat when we're not hungry that it gets us into trouble.

You're doing really well though. So you lost 20 pre-surgery so that means you've lost 43 since, yes? I think that's awesome in 4 months.

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Thanks Mini. I know I am doing well... but it doesn't feel like it sometimes! lol. The scale just bounces and hovers around the same numbers for what seems like forever. The last 10 pounds have been the hardest.

I still feel kind of lost when it comes to food. I am not entirely sure what to eat, how much, etc. I wish someone could just print me out a menu and tell me I have to eat this and this everyday. I would be good with that! lol.

I think you are right though... I am just not in tune with what I eat. It is still a daily struggle. Easier than before, but still a struggle. The head hunger is what trips me up everytime. I caved in and had some ice cream last night at work.

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Thanks Mini. I know I am doing well... but it doesn't feel like it sometimes! lol. The scale just bounces and hovers around the same numbers for what seems like forever. The last 10 pounds have been the hardest.

I still feel kind of lost when it comes to food. I am not entirely sure what to eat, how much, etc. I wish someone could just print me out a menu and tell me I have to eat this and this everyday. I would be good with that! lol.

I think you are right though... I am just not in tune with what I eat. It is still a daily struggle. Easier than before, but still a struggle. The head hunger is what trips me up everytime. I caved in and had some ice cream last night at work.

Head hunger is a scary beast. I read "ice cream" and immediately wished I had some in the freezer, even though I had a perfectly good dinner and have no reason to eat. But I do love ice cream.

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Head hunger is a scary beast. I read "ice cream" and immediately wished I had some in the freezer, even though I had a perfectly good dinner and have no reason to eat. But I do love ice cream.

Ice cream is my crack. :thumbup:

I cannot have it. I will go nuts with it. I don't allow it in my house anymore. Unfortunately every now and again it is at work and I can't resist it when my co-worker makes a bowl and asks me if I want some. Ugh.

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Sorry this font is small. Doing a quick post this morning.

FIRST~~~ Sharing this from COACH on her Blog. Isn't this the truth?

"Being morbidly obese you have a built in excuse as to why you don’t achieve your goals. I’m too fat to exercise, it’s too hard, and you feel defeated before you even start whatever project is you want to work on. Well now I’m not morbidly obese; I don’t have the built in excuse. How can I inspire others to reach goal if I’m not at goal myself? Oh trust me; that one tiny little question opened up a flood gate of emotions, thoughts, and feelings I didn’t even know resided in me. So I really had to take a hard look at myself and re-evaluate my game plan. A plan is exactly what I came up with.

I made an appointment to go see my surgeon. When I got there I was weighed and yep sure enough the exact same weight"

Her post focused on when we get to a point where we are pleased with our progress but haven't yet arrived. Very good read.

................................................................

Well my daughter and baby inside Clara are gone. Flew out this morning. My daughter is the essence of my older, bossy, overbearing sister. It absolutely drains the life out of me to be around her for an extended period of time. I will have to recover from the past few days of her visit especially last night when she didn't have her things packed and began a typical temper tantrum. Bipolar disorder isn't pretty.

Peace and lotus.

...........................................................

Dee...mean people SUCK. I was thinking yesterday it takes a thick skin to be fat. There is such a demand in society for perfection. If you are not that perfect thing, heaven forbid. I pity movie stars. OMG. movie stars and presidents and senators and anyone in the spotlight or at the podium. We do not allow for any imperfections and entire websites and shows are dedicated to showing the world a booger hanging from their nose.

.............................................................

I just went to Amazon and purchased a book on Abstinence from Compulsive Overeating. My thoughts are Jerky and it is really rattling me. I'm going to go to the doctor and see about getting my meds adjusted, increased. Trying to be proactive.

................................................

Here is wishing everyone a grand weekend. Stay strong. Stay focused.

Patty

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Are You a Compulsive Overeater?

Welcome to Overeaters Anonymous. This series of questions may help you determine if you are a compulsive overeater.

spacer_trans.gif

  1. Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
  2. Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating?
  3. Do you give too much time and thought to food?
  4. Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
  5. Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time?
  6. Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone?
  7. Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall short of your goal?
  8. Do you resent others telling you to "use a little willpower" to stop overeating
  9. Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet "on your own" whenever you wish?
  10. Do you crave to eat at a definite time, day or night, other than mealtime?
  11. Do you eat to escape from worries or trouble?
  12. Have you ever been treated for obesity or a food-related condition?
  13. Does your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?

Have you answered yes to three or more of these questions? If so, it is probable that you have or are well on your way to having a compulsive overeating problem. We have found that the way to arrest this progressive disease is to practice the Twelve-Step recovery program of Overeaters Anonymous.

Overeaters Anonymous is a fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. We welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. There are no dues or fees for members; we are self-supporting through our own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. OA is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology or religious doctrine; we take no position on outside issues. Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive overeating and to carry this message of recovery to those who still suffer.

Is OA for You?

Only you can decide that question. No one else can make this decision for you. We who are now in OA have found a way of life which enables us to live without the need for excess food. We believe that compulsive overeating is a progressive illness, one that, like alcoholism and some other illnesses, can be arrested. Remember, there is no shame in admitting you have a problem; the most important thing is to do something about it.

Source: http://www.oaregion8.org/

Going to a face to face meeting tomorrow. Online is not cutting it for me right now. Whooooo, feeling really vunerable right now.

PR

Edited by Lap_dancer

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Dee~I am sending you hugs, hugs, hugs (and a tissue). I have been in the same place you are for too long. I truly need a therapist but like everything else in my life, I put myself last and everyone else first....always have. We deserve to be happy, truly happy from the inside, out!

I absolutly admire your integrity, strength, honesty and who you are! You are a beautiful person! We all LOVE you...more hugs!

Thanks for leaving some clothes for me, I don't know when I will be in his office next, I hope Natalie will be able to stash them under desk for me...

mini~When I grow up, I want your job! I have learned a lot about the human brain and it's functions over the last few years and WOW, talk about something new to learn everyday!

Let us know how your pre-op consult goes...you should have it today, yes?

Dr. K and his staff are soooooo busy!

Woofay & Bahot~I tried to get a wii fit last night. My son has a friend that works at a video game store. He said that they only made so many and it looks like if you have one, you are lucky, the rest of us will have to wait and see! Anyone have any luck finding one???

We went out for dinner last night at Olive Garden and surprise!, I could NOT control myself!! I ate three bread sticks and a salad, when my dinner came, I was not hungry but I ate a few bites of meat (I tried to behave and ordered the grilled chicken and steak with veggies) too late for that, I ate the bread sticks! After dinner I felt so gulity, I took my Buster for his walk and ran a little. Adorkable~ Kudos to you, running kicked my arse! I want to start a running program, have been thinking about it, finally started last night. It was hard, my breathing was terrible, but it's a start. My goal is to run the Susan G Komen this year...

TGIF mi Bandito Buddies!

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Okay. Natalie called me this morning and rescheduled my consultation for 3:45 this afternoon. I guess I somehow didn't make it on to Dr. K's schedule yesterday.

Adorkable - I know what you mean about ice cream as crack. I think I'll just have to become abstinent.

Mal- learning about brains really rocks. There is so much new stuff happening every day. It never ceases to amaze me.

All - have you looked for a Wii Fit on ebay? That's how I got my Wii to begin with. The Fit is really fun, but for those of you who are already exercising, it may not provide a challenging enough workout. For those of us who haven't left the couch for several years, however, it's great! Not as challenging as DDR (in my opinion), but lots of variety.

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Sorry this font is small. Doing a quick post this morning.

FIRST~~~ Sharing this from COACH on her Blog. Isn't this the truth?

"Being morbidly obese you have a built in excuse as to why you don’t achieve your goals. I’m too fat to exercise, it’s too hard, and you feel defeated before you even start whatever project is you want to work on. Well now I’m not morbidly obese; I don’t have the built in excuse. How can I inspire others to reach goal if I’m not at goal myself? Oh trust me; that one tiny little question opened up a flood gate of emotions, thoughts, and feelings I didn’t even know resided in me. So I really had to take a hard look at myself and re-evaluate my game plan. A plan is exactly what I came up with.

I made an appointment to go see my surgeon. When I got there I was weighed and yep sure enough the exact same weight"

Her post focused on when we get to a point where we are pleased with our progress but haven't yet arrived. Very good read.

................................................................

Well my daughter and baby inside Clara are gone. Flew out this morning. My daughter is the essence of my older, bossy, overbearing sister. It absolutely drains the life out of me to be around her for an extended period of time. I will have to recover from the past few days of her visit especially last night when she didn't have her things packed and began a typical temper tantrum. Bipolar disorder isn't pretty.

Peace and lotus.

...........................................................

Dee...mean people SUCK. I was thinking yesterday it takes a thick skin to be fat. There is such a demand in society for perfection. If you are not that perfect thing, heaven forbid. I pity movie stars. OMG. movie stars and presidents and senators and anyone in the spotlight or at the podium. We do not allow for any imperfections and entire websites and shows are dedicated to showing the world a booger hanging from their nose.

.............................................................

I just went to Amazon and purchased a book on Abstinence from Compulsive Overeating. My thoughts are Jerky and it is really rattling me. I'm going to go to the doctor and see about getting my meds adjusted, increased. Trying to be proactive.

................................................

Here is wishing everyone a grand weekend. Stay strong. Stay focused.

Patty

Patty - I'm sorry that your daughter wore you out. I assume that she is bipolar from your comments?

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mini~My husband told me to save my $100 ish on the wii fit and spend more time at the gym...LOL,he is probably right, it just sounded like so much fun...and who doesn't want to get a workout without even knowing it.

Okay my next splurge ideas...rollerblades and bikes for the whole fam!

Just a couple more hours until your pre-op consult.

Woofay~How's your summer break going? I am soooo jealous!

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Banditos I wont be able to make the RR get together in June because I will be traveling for work. Bummer!

Mal, I would like to find a way to get my clothes to you. What area of town are you in? Maybe I could leave them at Dr K's office? Let me know what you think will work.

Denise, same thing..I wont be able to make it to RR so maybe we could rendesveux or something to do the clothing hand off. Let me know what ya think.

I did get a fill yesterday with Tom.....boy, what a difference .4cc makes. And....Tom was amazing! I just loved him. He is very thorough and warm. I would get another fill from him in a heartbeat.

Dee and all of you other losers :-)....Someone once told me that the emotions and hurt you experience as you lose weight is the same hurt and emotions you experienced as you gained the weight in the first place. I wonder if it's just an opportunity for us to heal stuff that hasn't been healed yet. Depression sucks but I know it's not a terminal condition. There are lots of options, just get aggressive about finding what is going to help you. I appreciate all of you so much for your openess and vulnerability. It definately helps me heal and not feel like I am alone on this difficult journey.

I did something crazy today and committed to an Urban Adventure race called the Oyster. I know I am not ready for it now....but hopefully I will be by August 16th. I just figured....what the hell! What's the worst thing that could happen???? Have a fantastic weekend everyone. I'm off to see Sex and The City with some of my girlfriends.

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Thanks Lifesaver, hope to see you tomorrow! I'll call you.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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