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Stalls, sickness, pain and uncertainty
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If it hasn't been one thing, it's been another. Cause and effect, chicken and egg, at this point there's no way to tell what's influencing what and the past seven weeks have been interesting to observe (if not frustrating to watch) develop.
In early February I contracted norovirus, which left me unable to eat, and then unable to eat properly, for about three weeks. My weight loss did the predictable thing, losing nearly 20 pounds in a week before rebounding once I could keep food and liquid down. This is when I started losing my hair. While I know hair loss happens, it was timed perfectly with my sickness, which, in moments of irrationality, I blame on getting sick because I could not eat. By the time I felt better, I started experiencing what can only be described as crippling joint pain in my right ankle. Initially it made it difficult to get out of bed, and walking across the room was something I only did with crutches or other support. Then the pain spread. First to my other ankle, then my knees, then hips, shoulders, back... you get the picture. They don't know what's wrong with me, and I'm on high doses of anti-inflammatory medication while they try to sort it out. Now, several weeks from the start of the first symptoms, the pain isn't being kept in check by the medicine completely anymore. Needless to say, exercise is impossible. There are stress factors in my life, mostly job related, that have surely impacted my physical health and that are outside of my control to influence, which is its own issue.
I hit my 100 pound loss, and have slowly dragged another five out of it, but it goes nowhere. My weight hasn't budged one way or the other in at least a month. It's a stall of epic proportions and I am forcing myself to be okay with the entire process. My weight loss has now taken a back seat to everything else I'm going through, and I have to be okay with that. But let's be honest, I'm not entirely okay with it or it wouldn't bother me. I pull out handfuls of hair every day and I'm thankful that it's curly because that helps hide it, but it's rough. I watch the scale go nowhere and I try to resist my inclination to cope with stress and frustration by eating. So much for the first six months being sunshine and roses all the way, but I thought that sharing my frustrations might help someone else who's in a similar place.