6 months post surgery and at least 100 posts ...

Are these settings enforced? I know this will probably make me sound elitest ... whatever ...

I have seen a few folks who have surgery AND join dates < 6 months posting in here. Also, do you think 100 posts constitutes a veteran? I see A LOT of folks several months pre-sleeve who have hundreds of posts.

Sooo ... I guess my question is, what do you feel constitutes a veteran?

Does a veteran always have to be sunshine, lollypops and rainbows?

Does being rigorously honest mean we aren't supportive? Even if that means calling you on your ****?

I do agree that setting a limit such as 100 post should not be a requirement of the VET forum and people come here should not use that as a deterrent. I think being a Vet has way more to do with how long you have had the surgery and your life experiences with it. When I first read it, I thought "6 months is a Vet??" At 6 months I was still really getting the handle on things.

I have been sleeved for close to 2.5 years, and it has been probably the last year that I have learned more than ever, and more changes happen, not so much in weight loss, but it what you can eat, how much, etc. I actually wasn't on here very much in the beginning. I have a local support group and was attending it regularly and had a great support system. But I have not been able to attend them in a long time because of work and family, so I decided to turn to here for support. My issues now are not the issues that someone early out would face. And a lot of what is posted now in the Vet forum is much more interesting to me than the newbie stuff.

I agree with Cheri, it gets so repetitive to see the same stuff come up again and again. I, personally, am very much into doing my own research, so I am sometimes blown away by what people keep asking when a simple google search or search on here would bring up thousands of answers. And I do wish people would be more respectful when considering our answers or anyone's answer to that matter. I see so many people who think they know it all come on, throw around information and insults, and they are not sleeved at all, or have only been sleeved a few months. Come back when you have been sleeved for a year, 2 years, 3 years, then your tune might change. The first 6 months-year is the easy part in my eyes, it is the rest of your life that is the hard part.

So enough about my rant...I think if someone has been sleeved for more than a year, even if they have not been actively posting on here, I would consider them a Vet. They have experiences that might help some of us even if they are a new VST member.

I am very happy with the idea of a veterans forum. The primary reason I am excited about it is that we are now experiencing challenges that are more out of the realm of experiences during the first year. For me it's more relationship issues and concerns about falling into old habits and emotional eating. During the first year to 18 months I know I was just getting a handle on the mechanics of how to live life on this side of surgery

How do we define a vet? It equates to the old adage how do we know porn......it's hard to describe but we know it when we see it. A vet is definitely not defined by the number of posts, time away from surgery is a much better guideline. I also think that a component of being a vet is having a thicker skin. I know as a vet that I'm going to see some thing posted that I don't agree with.(and yes I might even post a few that will piss people off). My hope is that I will have enough experience and be able to handle confrontational issues with tact and the ability to convey my view point.

As a closing note I really like the idea of a closed group. It's one of my favorite things about Facebook.

You know Paul, everytime i read your stats I am astounded. going from a 70 BMI to a 27 is freaking amazing. Just amazing.

Is there a good closed FB "veterans" group that keeps posts private? Most all of my friends know that i had surgery, but i don't want WLS support to spill into the rest of my FB world!!!

You know Paul, everytime i read your stats I am astounded. going from a 70 BMI to a 27 is freaking amazing. Just amazing.

Is there a good closed FB "veterans" group that keeps posts private? Most all of my friends know that i had surgery, but i don't want WLS support to spill into the rest of my FB world!!!

Thanks buddy.

My local surgical support group has a closed Facebook page and it's great. Patients are able to get on that page and talk about their issues without concern about their other friends seeing all the WLS info. No reason another group could not be created. If there is enough interest, I would be willing to administer a closed WLS vets Facebook group.

I'm not a vet in the terms used by this board (only 3 1/2 months out), but I have participated quite a bit. But I have thought about starting a closed FB group. I'm getting a bit burned out on VST since there's rarely a new or interesting question and I don't feel as comfortable posting the way I used to since I've gotten PMs from people about not being super supportive. There's been some awesome people that I've met on this board that I would love to keep in touch with and just socialize with without all the scrutiny some of the busybodies around here that seem to monitor every post for the correct level of "supportiveness". Any who, I would vote for a private group, but like I said I am not what the board considers a vet.

I don't really think a closed group would stop minor arguments or tiffs from occurring. What would be the difference between this open forum and a closed one? The people allowed in?

What if there are lurkers who gain information and insight from reading these vet topics, but don't want to post? If I wanted the opinion of a certain select few, I would PM just those people, I'd imagine. I post publicly, so that anyone with an opinion or advice can give it.

Am I missing something? What exactly are we upset about that is warranting a closed group?

I don't think anybody is upset ... are you picking that up somewhere?

Can we have a so called rainbows and unicorns vet forum and then a so called natzi vet forum?

And then slam the stupid doors on both?

ROFL

I'm not a vet in the terms used by this board (only 3 1/2 months out)' date=' but I have participated quite a bit. But I have thought about starting a closed FB group. I'm getting a bit burned out on VST since there's rarely a new or interesting question and I don't feel as comfortable posting the way I used to since I've gotten PMs from people about not being super supportive. There's been some awesome people that I've met on this board that I would love to keep in touch with and just socialize with without all the scrutiny some of the busybodies around here that seem to monitor every post for the correct level of "supportiveness". Any who, I would vote for a private group, but like I said I am not what the board considers a vet.[/quote']

John, I like VST for the information sharing, and giving and receiving help on issues. As for the socialization you're speaking of, try MFP....I get that from there along with a ton of support. It's kinda like FB but for dietary conscious folks.

John, I like VST for the information sharing, and giving and receiving help on issues. As for the socialization you're speaking of, try MFP....I get that from there along with a ton of support. It's kinda like FB but for dietary conscious folks.

Yeah that's where I'm headed, I've been there but not as much. I'm bailing out of VST, just got another PM about some stupid BS. Plus the thread about the vets hijacking threads is just more BS. As much as I like it here and have enjoyed meeting all of y'all. I don't need it that bad. I wish all you good luck down the road with your journeys.

Yeah that's where I'm headed' date=' I've been there but not as much. I'm bailing out of VST, just got another PM about some stupid BS. Plus the thread about the vets hijacking threads is just more BS. As much as I like it here and have enjoyed meeting all of y'all. I don't need it that bad. I wish all you good luck down the road with your journeys.[/quote']

I'm sorry to hear that John... I'm no stranger to some wacky Pm's

Hope you change your mind.

And I think the hijacking vets was meant to be funny

I don't think anybody is upset ... are you picking that up somewhere?

Pdx, I did actually get that feeling (not from your post, but from a few other posts on this thread and within others in the vet group). I'm surprised at how much negativity and sarcasm I have seen in some of the threads, considering how few topics there actually are within this new forum.

Perhaps I'm just reading into it too much?

Pdx' date=' I did actually get that feeling (not from your post, but from a few other posts on this thread and within others in the vet group). I'm surprised at how much negativity and sarcasm I have seen in some of the threads, considering how few topics there actually are within this new forum.

Perhaps I'm just reading into it too much?[/quote']

Perhaps you are reading in more than is there, or I'm taking it all too lightly. Don't know, but I kinda hear what John is saying. I get criticized a lot for not being more caring and sensitive to the newcomers. Or get criticized for speaking too matter-of-factly when I am trying to relate my experiences. 85% of those criticisms come from newbies and 10% come from folks who haven't even been sleeved, yet. Kills me. I write it off now as just being new and them seeing everything through their expectations and not my reality. I always say this is my experience and your mileage may vary, but it doesn't matter. I get criticized or the thread gets hijacked by someone mis-reading something ...

I've been in here getting close to two years and the cycle just continues to repeat itself. As has been pointed out, how many vets with 2+ years do you see active around here? I would estimate less than 1%. Read the threads in the Vet forum objectively and see how many posts have been misinterpreted by someone just a few months from surgery. Go look in the forum for those at or near goal. They are riddled with hijacking a from newbies.

I'm not saying they aren't entitled to their opinion ... Surely they are and they have a wide open forum available to rant, post or inquire. I used to be a newbie, too, and asked all of the same questions. But those who have some time in don't have their own space to discus things without getting derailed.

I just thought the Vets forum was that place, but it's not.

I haven't noticed any posts in the vets forum being derailed.

As for there not being that much activity well PDX covered that pretty well. There just really aren't that many vets here.

Yeah that's where I'm headed, I've been there but not as much. I'm bailing out of VST, just got another PM about some stupid BS. Plus the thread about the vets hijacking threads is just more BS. As much as I like it here and have enjoyed meeting all of y'all. I don't need it that bad. I wish all you good luck down the road with your journeys.

Hi John I'am wondering why you would let some individual's that sent you PM's run you off VST? They have poor boundaries and imupulses and don't really know what they're saying is attacking you. Let them know by PMing them back. You have the right to you opinion and they have a right to their opinion. They do not have the right to force it on you...The reason a support group works in a healthy manner is when you have people that are supporters and then you have people that will call you out on your sh**.....That's the balance of a support group. And when I read the posts where people are joking around and having fun, I take it as that. They are just funning... Now for me.....I don't get too much from my fb because I can't get any feed back.....or let me put it this way, I don't know how to change my notifications on fb. But I do get feedback from people on vst..It's not always what I want to hear, but it is honest feedback from the poster's point of view. I either accept it, or reject it. No I'm not excusing the people that get in an emotional tirade and get impulsive and respond with inappropriate comments. But I do know that that's their problem and I choose to not respond......When the posts go on and on with stupid stuff, I go back and click on the unfollow button which does the trick. This is an emotional journey that each of us is on. Don't let this derail your journey, I love reading your post...... So please keep posting. And remember if someone gets upset with other posts, it's his/her responsibility to handle their anger in an appropriate way.......