I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Denise - You WILL meet someone when you least expect it, but just don't go into hiding cause then he won't be able to find you... :confused:

This is wonderful....I am a single bandster....newly banded and just recieved my first fill. Well....my relationships have followed the same path as my weight over the years....sometimes things were good and sometimes things were really bad. I found myself at 288lbs recently after having 2 babies in 2 years and being married to a bipolar alchoholic. Not an abusive person...just a really sick man....his sickness was making me sick also. I was trying so hard to keep things together...working full time, taking care of the girls (who were babies) and paying all the bills myself...it was too much to bear. I wanted the all american "family" and wanted to be a mom so bad that I ended up settling for a man with many issues and problems so I could have it. Not a good choice. After many years of trips to the hospital ER and psych units and psychiatrist's office along with weekly counseling with a substance abuse counselor....I realized that this man would never be the husband I dreamed of and never the dad I would hope my babies to have. It was a harsh acceptance and one that left me a devastated single mother trying to "do it all." During the 4 years we lived together I used food as my coping mechanism. When things got tough....I ate and ate and ate some more....the 2 back to back pregnancies didn't help either but I really can't blame my obesity on pregnancy...that is a cop out. I have been separated from my husband now for 7 months and have started the divorce process. He sees the kids once or twice a week for an hour or two but always with me present. We don't fight or cause the kids any more heartache than they have already experienced which I am so thankful for...but things will never be normal for them and that makes me sad. During our marriage he stopped sleeping in the same bed as me and stopped having sex with me. He said my weight bothered him....I had my band done 4 months after he moved out and I feel that it is now time for ME to find a healthy life...both physically and socially. I owe it to myself and my girls. This is wonderful that there is a single bandsters sight....hope to chat with you soon!! Keep on keepin on!

I'm really glad for you for getting up on your feet and taking control! Keep your head in the right place and you're going to do great.

Way to go Lilly! (or is it Katherine?) Glad you found our little corner of Lap Band Talk!

Thank you so much for the welcoming words......much appreciated and I hope to chat with you all soon! :clap2:

Hi my husband and I have been separated for about a month now, about 2 weeks after I was banded. So I guess I am joining the single group. I feel peaceful but.....I wish I had taken care of my body the 15 years I was with him. Well I guess being banded was the first step.

Val

Hi Everyone,

I am sad today...I called the surgeons office this morning and the nurse said that the surgeons have only been scheduling 12 surgeries a month. There are 3 surgeons at Kaiser and they only do surgeries 3 days a weeks (one day for each surgeon each week). And only 3 surgeries each of those days. Then she informaed me that I am 19th in line on the list, which means it looks like I will not be getting mine until December now unless 6 other people cannot go in November(which I highly doubt!!!)...I am trying with all of my strength to not go overboard and eat out of emotional need. I just thought it was going to finally happen soon but now I have to wait an additional month more than I expected. :car:

Hi I am Bob. Getting banded was partly due to being single. Due to my weight I don't go to dances for the longest time. I have no self confidence at all. Being overweight has had a huge negative effect on my self esteem. It has made me shy and self doubting.

Now I feel my life getting better. I was 353 pounds in June for the consult and 330 at surgury on Aug. 7. Now I am 285 and I am happy and healthy. I am starting to feel better mentally.

At 42 I have no wife, no girlfriend and no children. This weighs heavily on my mind. Once I lose the weight I hopefully will be able to find someone.

bye for now,

Bob

Hey, JC: it's almost our first-year anniversary!!

(We were both banded the same day last October.)

I'm trying hard to show a 150-pound loss the day of my post-op. So far, so good...I've been working out really, really hard. Twice a day at the gym and walking before bed. My abs hurt like hell, but I've lost several pounds this week.

Rock on Derby! I have been working so hard that I am hesitant to talk about my workout schedule because it sounds like total BS. I am leaving tonight for Indiana to do a forty mile bike ride. I have the next week off and I am going to hit it as hard as possible! I am shooting for 100 pounds this year. I hope you make your goal!

JC

Hey, JC: it's almost our first-year anniversary!!

(We were both banded the same day last October.)

I'm trying hard to show a 150-pound loss the day of my post-op. So far, so good...I've been working out really, really hard. Twice a day at the gym and walking before bed. My abs hurt like hell, but I've lost several pounds this week.

OK experienced peeps.........did it take a few fills to actually get to where you were losing weight at a good pace?

I'm not 'experienced', but for me the third fill was the one that really kicked in. Your mileage will vary

I'm not 'experienced', but for me the third fill was the one that really kicked in. Your mileage will vary

For me, three is close, I may need just a little more.

:whoo: <------ best icon ever, by the way.

For me the third one helped a lot, but the 4th one has been even better. I always lose right after a fill, and then it seems to stop. I have high hopes that I'll be able to continue to lose with this 4th

one. For the past week, I have no desire to eat.

my sister is always complaining about her fat thighs. she is a size five and never been fat, but yes has some cellulite. she is so funny. i asked her if her husband ever says anything about her FAT thighs. she laughed and said heck no, i never told him.. i think it is so true, many men dont notice what you may be sensitive about. if you dont point it out, they dont see it...... i think confidence is a huge factor too. it doesnt take long for someone to see the inner beauty in a person and that only makes them so much more attractive. totally hot guy and then after you get too know him he seems totally unattractive. i have. beauty really is on the inside shining outward. id rather shine than reflect..........