I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Thanks, JC and marcar. I will go and get an unfill if this doesn't get a little looser. I am not one that wants to be so tight that it's causing problems. So far, I have had no trouble getting water and protein drinks down, and today I had 2 teas. of yogurt and 2 teas. of cottage cheese.

I don't want to pb again tonight in my sleep. Last night I pbed up water and it woke me up from a sound sleep feeling like I was drowning. I am going to sleep in the recliner tonight. I think it's getting looser though. My tummy doesn't ache as much.

My latest fill was like that. I contacted the doc and he said that as long as I was taking protein and water to ride it out. It took a week, but it did finally loosen, and the weight/inches are starting to drop again.

Be VERY careful and make sure you get lots of protein. You don't want the organs to swell and tighten the band. Talk to your doctor

That first break-the-ice contact is the hardest. It's the same with us women so don't think you're alone.

Sorry, but this just flat out isn't true. Dating is easier for women. If you ask a guy out, most will say yes no matter what. Why? Because guys are pretty simple, and we're hoping that a "forward woman" is someone fun to be around.

On the other hand, when a guy asks a woman out, he's just the latest in the long line. The woman knows she can pick and choose (look at this thread for exactly that mindset). If a guy's short, or overweight, or maybe a bit shy, a "nice guy" or worst of all a combination of all that, then he's pretty much guaranteed to be shot down.

After years of that, a lot quit looking and just go play World of Warcraft

<p>Manatee--I disagree with the short, nice, or overweight thing. My last bf that totally screwed me over was 320 pounds. He broke up with me and two months later I see him with a thinner and younger girl. ugh</p>

Women tend to be much more "lean-ient" where the weight is concerned.

There is nothing more sexy and attractive than confidence. Get that and your 90% done...the other 10% is luck.

Manatee- that's really not true... its all about confidence... if you believe you'll be picked, then you will be- its as simple as that. You just have to go out there and do it. I don't really think its really easier for women, its just that there are so many more men who look for confidence.

Don't give up to Warcraft just yet!

What if I am confident that I will get shot down, does that count? j/k I just couldn't resist. All ready gone up in flames 5 times this past week.

Well JC- That's 5 times you practiced... and if you didn't try you would never succeed... just try until you get it!

and that counts haha...

Don't worry I am plenty stubborn! (I swear I have some Brahma Bull DNA) LOL

You all are funny. I bellieve that it is hard for both sexes to do this whole dating thing. I think that women have it harder these days than they used to, especially since so many more men expect that a woman approache the man first. But I do have to agree with Oliburner and Leona about the whole confidence thing. As a matter of fact just to prove it I met someone the other day that I normally would not be the first man to come to mind when I think of dating someone. But he has shown a great deal of confidence, even though he had the Gastric Bypass surgery recently and still has a lot to lose. And I have found that very intriguing. I am finding myself wanting to see him more and more. So take note when us women say that confidence DOES matter!!! And JC keep trying, you just haven't asked the right woman yet.

What about all the guys that knock our confidence down? I have lost count on how many times I have sent a picture to someone I have been in contact with on one of the dating sites who stopped writing when they got my picture.

I wish there was somewhere around here to meet people. The online thing has gotten extremely old.

I am going to call for an unfill tomorrow. I can't take this. I am really feeling

like cr@p tonight.

Hey I agree Denise with that too. I have been in the same situation. Not to mention my confidence and self esteem are lower than some peoples because of all that, but what I do notice is that when I start to pick it up, even just a little bit there is a hugh response to that.

I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad with your band and all. I wouldn't jump into the unfill too fast how long has it been since you have been feeling this way?

I got a fill on Friday and all weekend stayed on liquids. I had a horrible weekend. I kept waking up pbing in my sleep. It's awful to be sound asleep and feel like you are drowning. It's just Water or slime but it's freaky.

Last night it went on and on and I hardly got any sleep. I called the dr as soon as they opened.

If anyone remembers me in this thread..I was the one with the gamer guy interested in me that got swallowed up by WoW

Well he text messages me late last night...with just "I'm bad :("..lol

Ya think...ya your bad for me!..LOL

Gotta love it when they realized they lost ya

and no I didn't text him back...no way in hell

Of course we remember you! I am glad you realized you

deserve more attention than a video game.

I got part of my fill out and I feel so much better. I better

not have any more of that reflux in my sleep. That was

awful!

I wish there was a way to send pictures on here. I would

really like the guy's opinion. Of course they wouldn't have

the nerve to say "oh Denise I can see why nobody writes

back to you. You really are a dog"

It sucks getting old. All the men in their 50's are looking for

women 35. People keep telling me I will meet someone when

I least expect it. I have been waiting forever for that to happen.:confused: